Parable of the Cub Fan

One day, Satan was out for a walk through Hell, making sure things were running smoothly. When he got to the Lake of Fire, he saw a man sitting by the lake, relaxing in a lawn chair, and not sweating or looking uncomfortable at all.

Perplexed, Satan approached the man and asked: “Young man, are you not hot or bothered by this heat?”

The man replied, “Oh no, not at all. I lived in downtown Chicago and this weather is just like a typical July day in the city.”

Satan thought that this was not a good sign, so he rushed back to his office and turned up the heat in Hell another 100 degrees. Satisfied with himself, he again returned to the Lake of Fire to check on the young man. When he got there, the man was showing a few beads of sweat, but that was all.

Again Satan asked the Chicagoan, “Are you hot and uncomfortable yet?” The young man looked up and said, “No, the temperature is just like a hot August day in Chicago. I’m coping it just fine.”

Satan decided that he had to do something drastic to make this man’s stay in Hell unpleasant. He went back to his office, turned the heat all the way down, and then turned up the air conditioning. The temperature in Hell quickly dropped well below zero. As he approached the Lake of Fire, he noticed that it was now frozen over.

He also saw the Chicagoan jumping up and down wildly, waving his arms and yelling into the air. “This looks promising!” thought Satan. Coming closer, he finally made out what the man was shouting: “The Cubs won the World Series!! The Cubs won the World Series!!”


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  • RJS

    I think the Cubs are a gift. When the baseball season ends at the end of September (or well before) you are able to get back to work oh so much better. I mean Pete Enns seems seriously distracted well into Oct. most years.

  • John

    Five words: Gerald Dempsey ‘Buster’ Posey III