Residents of America: have you been approached by a friendly-looking man offering you free sweets from the back of a truck? Beware! This is not just any garden variety perv; it is a European perv, trying to corrupt our youth—by convincing them that “Nutella” is an acceptable breakfast item. It is not….
Why not just tell people to eat Reese’s peanut butter cups for breakfast because they have peanut butter in them for crying out loud!!!…Second of all Nutella is European. So we are taking breakfast advice from Europe now? I don’t think so. Welcome to America, where we invented the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘n Fruity™ and the Moons Over My Hammy™. I think we are all set for breakfast, okay? Europe? Do they even eat eggs over there? No, they eat a “croissant,” which is stale bread, or a “crepe,” which is soggy bread, and then they fill it up with Nutella, which is chocolate, and then they call it “breakfast.” We have a name for that already: “dessert.”
If we wanted to eat dessert for breakfast we would just eat donuts, which we already do!!!