Weird Searches

First, lemme say that today for sure I’m going to finish up (well, what are the chances: but at the very least I’ll start finishing up) Woody Woodpecker Turns Manic Attack Bird. (That link was to Part 1; here are parts 2, 3 and 4.)

But first, I had to jam in here a note from Go Figure land.

This blog is where I repost my riveting Crosswalk stuff, so that people can leave comments about it. As you bloggerites out there know, one of the things about having a blog is that you can look Behind the Scenes at it, and see what search engine terms people used to arrive at your site. Here are some of the things people have typed into their search engines, which, apparently, then directed them to the stuff I write here on Crosswalk. Following each of the searches I will offer my assessment of what about that search connected them with my stuff.

“Planet nissan south bend.” I recently did a series of posts from Indiana. While in Indiana, I sometimes found myself wondering if Martians would ever try to turn earth into a giant, well-made Japanese car. Apparently I somehow communicated that in my postings from lovely South Bend.

“Minister bird jesus.” I have no idea. Birds need saving, too? But it’s hard to figure out how to minister to them?

“Zealot hand.” Someone’s hand has grown a little too fanatical, and they’d like to know what to do about it?

“Delicious looking feet.” Hmm. I don’t recall writing anything about delicious looking feet, but I could be wrong about that. I sure hope I’m not.

“Killer squirrels.” Finally, one that makes sense. Sort of.

“Killer squirrels Indiana.” Oh no! They’re spreading! Or something!

“Attack squirrel.” Does this person want to attack a squirrel, or were they attacked by a squirrel? Scary either way.

“Selling all your stuff.” This person is either a serious bargain hunter, or is considering selling all their stuff. Either way, it’s clear they think in extremes. My kind of person, for sure. Or not.

“All religion is wrong.” Wow. So if you’re searching that, then … you must want affirmation that it’s true. Which means you doubt it. So this person is dogmatically assertive on the outside, yet unsure on the inside. So he’s human. Cool.

“Sam Harris + extra.” Sam Harris alone just isn’t enough for this person.

“Loving a nonbeliever.” Ahh. That’s so sweet!

“Not everyone had a great father.” Oh, no. How totally heartbreaking. (That same person then read this little piece. I sure hope it helped.)

If hell is real, then love has no meaning
To the Dickens with me this year
Say it ain't so, Trader Joe!
My novel approach
About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is the executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter.