“Bad Word Bug Wiggles?” What the …?

In the last three days, these are what someone somewhere typed into a search engine (which then brought them here to my blog):

Bad word bug wiggles [From some kind of deranged entomologist?]

A list of testes to put a boy through to [Yikes! And two--I am so not kidding--people searched this!! Do people not know what "testes" are?? God, I hope not.]

If you love someone you do not want them [From the world's worst love advice columnist?]

Did Mr. Ed have a wife? [From the world's most romantic horse breeder?]

My husband is suddenly ugly at 46 [Yikes. Poor guy. I hate it when that happens.]

Jerk christian way of loving drug yahoo [From the world's worst worst group drug counseling patient?]

What to do if a guy wants to end the tea [From the world's worst bed & breakfast owner?]

How to stop someone from trying to cave [From the world's most desperate psychiatrist?]

Squirrels of the white lawn [From the world's worst writer of horror book titles?]

Picture woody woodpecker bird [From the world's worst dream therapist?]

Sneak into charity parties [From the world's worst party guest?]

Man fit tight pants [Sorry. No joke comes to mind.]

Atheists are wrong [From the world's worst Christian apologist?]

Not reformable [From the world's worst prison warden?]

Where to buy ground squirrels [From the world's worst zoo manager?]

Why ex-husbands jerk [Again: Sorry. No joke comes to my mind.]

Deep pick-up lines [From the world's worst guy to hit on you in a bar?]

Christmas caroling and forks [From the world's worst person to sing Christmas carols to?]

A list of the most devastating things [From the world's worst singer of "My Favorite Things"?]

And finally (and I’m not kidding):

Crazy search terms.

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. John is a pastor ordained by The Progressive Christian Alliance. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. And don't forget to sign up for his mucho awesome monthly newsletter.

  • Harv

    ah, you've been into the egg nog again i see.

  • Pastor_David

    Oh! Oh! I know this one! I just can't remember . . .

    Category is Crazy Search Terms for 50

    Question is, "Who'd a thunk it?"

    (I know, keep my day job…)

  • breezy

    I’m having a hard time typing this as I’m laughing too hard and I need to use the ‘ladies room’…you are much too funny John

  • samwrites2

    John,

    Hilarious.

    I only have one of these, but it does cause one to wonder.

    It reads… for christmas time is here once more lyr. Maybe that means someone is going Christmas caroling using a lyre. Or someone was saying Christmas time isn't really here because they are Coptic, and so you are lying. Dunno. The Coptic Christmas (Jan. 6) has always been my excuse for mailing out late Christmas cards.

  • http://blueraindrop.wordpress.com blueraindrop

    but, the important thing…. did they find what they were looking for on your page? lol

  • http://sharpiron.org Christian

    How to stop someone from trying to cave [From the world’s most desperate psychiatrist?] Perhaps this is someone who has an intense fear of spelunking? Sorry. Anyway, very, very funny stuff. Laugh out loud. But I never thought of doing this myself and now I am quite distressed. These are a few of the terms people used to find my site. Any ideas?

    custom robo christian review

    i don't know how much to eat

    potted meat

    who made walker texas ranger toy truck?

    isaiah 66 verse 9, honey

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    "POTTED MEAT"!! Man, this stuff is funny. There's just something ABOUT this stuff that seems funnier than, like, anything in the universe. "Isaiah 66 verse 9, HONEY!!" I can't stand it…


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