Washington Crossing the Delaware, by Emanuel Leutze (1816 – 1868). Most of these guys were probably already tired of Presidents Day, but you know you’ll never be.
The banners have come down; the red, white, and blue bunting put away; the top hats returned to storage. No more reinacting the famous cherry tree incident. No more sonorous recitations of the Gettysburg address. No more good reasons to say “blue bunting.” No more pretending your couch is a boat while you and your friends pose in a Washington Crossing the Delaware tableau.
It’s over, man. Let it go. There’s nothing to do now but wait until next year’s Presidents Day season. (If you care to — and haven’t read it yet — please see yesterday’s How To Observe Presidents Day: Don’t Work.)
To help you ease back into regular life, why not think about the Presidential situation today? It is election season, after all. Barack Obama makes it easy enough to think of Abraham Lincoln, doesn’t he? Lincoln was a statesman lawyer from Illinois; Obama is a statesmen lawyer from Illinois. Lincoln was thin; Obama is thin. Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation; Mr. Obama grew up in Hawaii.
And the similarities between George Washington and Hillary Clinton are almost too obvious to mention. They both have big, yellowish, immobile hair. Washington’s on the $1 bill; Hillary has a husband named Bill. George Washington had wooden teeth. Hillary Clinton also has wooden teeth.
No, that’s awful. I’m sorry. Of course Hillary Clinton doesn’t have wooden teeth. I’m sure she has normal teeth.
And splinters in her tongue.
Sorry! That’s terrible. I need to figure out what’s wrong with me.
In the meantime, though, I, like you, will be avidly awaiting the next Presidents Day. Between then and now, I suppose there’s little for any of us to do but bust out a $20 bill, stare at it, and try to remember whether or not Benjamin Franklin was ever actually elected president.
Actually, if you really do want something fun and Presidentialish to do, you cannot go wrong reading Presidential Trivia, the latest book by language guru Richard Lederer (with whom I co-wrote Comma Sense.)
Also, I want to sincerely thank the great folks who left all the wonderful comments on my last two posts. These last two days I’ve been terribly busy, and so haven’t had proper time to respond to or even acknowledge those comments. But please know that, as always, I definitely read and appreciate every single one of them.