Evil Tree!

This socially maladjusted tree, which grows right next to my parking space in our apartment complex, hates me.  Just look at this angry arboreal! Is there any doubt that it belongs to that same family of trees who once so appallingly harassed a certain young lady from Kansas who wanted nothing more than to get back home? It purposefully drops all kinds of Tree Detritus on me, attempts to trip me with its outsized roots, and brazenly encourages the flying monkey-type birds who do its evil bidding to rain offenses upon my poor little Ford Focus.

What is with this Twilight Zone apartment complex my wife and I have moved into??

(Think I’m kidding about our apartments? Think all that’s really happened is that I bought a new camera last week and am clearly too lazy to venture more than forty feet outside my apartment to get any decent, normal photos I could use for my blog? Really? How interesting. Well then see, if you dare, my recent, utterly traumatizing posts, John Wayne’s Ex-Wife’s Smiling Gelantinous Fish Log, and/or Cat Exploited For Viewing Pleasure In Apartment Zoo! But remember: you’ve been warned.)

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter.

  • http://www.whitenoisemetal.com Brian Shields

    My guess is that its bark is worse than its bite.

  • Elizabeth

    Looks like one of the trees in Lord of the Rings! LOL

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Brian: Awesome joke. It was all I could do not to steal it, deleter your comment, and then work it back into the text of the post. But that would have been wrong. Once I might have done that, but since then I’ve turned over a new leaf.

    Elizabeth: Insanely, I’ve never seen any of the LoR movies. But I’m believing you.

  • http://www.whitenoisemetal.com Brian Shields

    John:

    Because I hold you in tree-mendous respect, I might never beleaf you wood hide my joke in a trunk and log it away like that..

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com Skerrib

    Oh dear…umm…cool new pic! Very tilty.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Brian: Stop it. Just stop it right now.

    Skerrib: I've been wanting to change, but didn't HAVE any other pictures of me. Then, at the Fourth of July party I went to, a friend, trying to teach me how to use my camera, took THIS picture of me, and I figured, "good enough." And … that's that fascinating story.

  • FreetoBe

    I like the new pic! (Guess we don't have definitive proof that you know how to shave? Just saying.)

  • arlywn

    Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

    Attack of the Killer Squirrels 6

    uh- huh. that tree would definately hold killer squirrels. Maybe you should give the tree a hug? Maybe it would be nicer then…

  • NG Tangonan

    will appreciate other photo angles of this tree…please don't chop her down!


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