God Uses Tinky Winky to Undo Me

So today I was sorting and pricing books at one of the thrift stores run by my wife. (Same as I was doing the other day, when I came across the book from which I excerpted the poem and scanned the image I then used for “The Dumb Soldier”/”George W. Bush Thinks Of His Soldiers”, a post o’ mine that, if you must know, I thought heartbreakingly poignant and discouragingly under-appreciated. But whaddaya gonna do?) While working through the books, I was thinking, “Wow. People sure are interested in sex, sexual roles, gender identification … all that. Well, duh. No surprise there. And Christians, of course, are famous for being a little too  worried about who’s doing what with whom.” (If you’re just joining us, this is the train of thought I hopped on with The Sexual Lives of Others: Like Catnip to Everyone—Even Christians.)

As I was thinking about this sort of thing, I was also mindlessly flipping through the books, checking for pen marks or ripped pages, or cash whatever. And at the moment  I was considering the wisdom of so many Christians spending so much time worrying about stuff like The Gay Agenda, I picked up and opened a Scholastic “Touch-and-Feel Book,” and saw staring back at me this:

 

 

 

That God. He thinks he’s sooooooo funny.

And he soooooooo is.

 

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About John Shore

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  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com Skerrib

    And you know he's got a laser in his purse, just waiting to make all the little children gay. Maybe it's called a gay-ser? This is why I don't let my son watch them.

    SO funny (God, that is. Me, not as much. But maybe a little bit.)

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    No, you're hilarious. You crack me up all the time.

    Did you ever see that episode of "The Office," where Micheal and Dwight were using that Gaydar? Too funny.

  • Spike

    Unfortunately Christians who endorse, wink at and twist scriptures to support the "gay agenda" are spitting in the face of scriptures. It's clear that John Shore spends a lot of time worrying about how he can spoon feed Christians more and more lies about homosexuality and what the scriptures say about it. I'm not 'too worried' about homosexuality; I've read the end of the book. I know where I'll be on judgement day. The sad part is I also know where others will be. It is disheartening to think that some will hear the Lord say "And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity" Matt. 7:23 Some will hear this because some pastors and Christians wanted to be "loving", politically correct, tolerant and diverse. What they need to be be is a faithful servants that are bold enough to loveingly and prayerfully share the truth about the scriptures instead of sitting in the wedding and and showing approval.

    There is a way which seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Proverbs 16:25

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com Skerrib

    I LOVE that episode!

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Spike: Stop, already. No need to insult me.

    Skerrib: For some reason, I find extremely funny in that episode the line(and I'll just say it, and wonder/hope you recall its context, relative to Gaydar), "I'll try Brookstone."

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com Skerrib

    Hahahaha! Yep. 'Cuz Brookstone has everything gadget-related!

    I can honestly say that I've never winked at any scriptures, but I do endorse them in general.

  • http://www.youtube.com/morsec0de Morse

    John, don't worry. I'll save a nice spot in Hell for you. About mid-orchestra, not too close and not too far away. Tinky-Winky performs nightly down there, I hear.

  • http://anziulewicz.livejournal.com Chuck Anziulewicz

    The VERY SAME DAY that the late great Rev. Jerry Falwell determined that Tinky Winky was exerting a subversive sexual message on our youngsters, I walked to the mall during my lunch break and found an 18" tall Tinky Winky plush doll that I proceeded to prop up proudly in the back window of my car. Sometimes our most beloved icons come from the most unexpected sources!

  • FreetoBe

    I'm sorry, what's the deal? Did I miss something during the 80's or 90's somewhere? "Tinky Winky" or whatever you call it looks obnoxious but I don't know what that has to do with the subject.

  • FreetoBe

    OK, never mind, I googled it. Strange how some people's minds work. " For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. " 2 Tim 1.7

  • arlywn

    never let your kids watch that. You'll make them gay, and heathens like morse and me. lol

    Personally I cant wait for judgement day either. It sounds like loads of fun. Either way I win. lol

  • http://www.youtube.com/morsec0de Morse

    Instead, have your kids watch Bibleman…the superhero who…um…throws bibles at people, I think?

  • Spike

    John how do you approach a homosexual in your church? Let's say you have alone time with an individual or couple that is gay or lesbian. Do you ever share what the scriptures say about the end results for someone that is homosexual; or do you think that it's OK to be gay? Everyone knows what society says about homosexuality. You have those who are homophobic and hate gays. You have the pseudo-Christians like Fred Phelps and then the alarmist tinky winky crowd. The coastal states largely embrace homosexuality and liken it to the civil-rights movement. My question is: Do you ever feel led by the Holy Spirit to explain in a loving manor, when the opportunity arises, to homosexuals that God in his word prohibits homosexuality? Am I interpreting the Holy Scriptures wrong when I believe it says that a person who practices homosexuality is cursed? Am I misunderstanding the scriptures when I read it saying that a homosexual cannot enter the kingdom of heaven?

    In a metaphorical sense… if we were standing at a crossroads and a stranger walked up and I knew that one road led to paradise and the other led to a deep dark pit. I would point out the right path, I hope, even if I had to strongly convince them that they are on the wrong path. I think that is what I want to do. In a loving way (with no malice even if society objects to what I say, even if it's unpopular) that explains God's love and grace. A way that explains forgiveness through Christ.

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com Skerrib

    This is starting to feel like the "God-doesn't-exist-yes-he-does" debates.

    I think pretty much everyone knows the various stances people take on homosexuality, the interpretation of the relevant verses, etc. Is it that important that anytime I meet a gay person I say "Oh by the way here's what the Bible says about homosexuality, and here's what I think about that." Just seems like beating a dead horse (the issue, not the person, thank you)

  • http://myrddinsworld.wordpress.com/ hktelemacher

    @3, who proclaimed

    "I know where I’ll be on judgement day. The sad part is I also know where others will be."

    John, I wanted to let you know how super-impressed I am that God visits your blog and comments personally!

  • http://samwrites2.wordpress.com samwrites2

    John,

    I remember that book! My kids had it and I'd read it to my daughter. Fond memories.

    I skipped over the controversy and a possible teachable moment.

    But this morning when I couldn't find her "Tinkerbell" beach towel and stuck her with my son's "Cars" towel (the movie – not the band) she said "Dad, everybody will call me gay!"

    I skipped again.

    But at what point do I teach my daughter about homosexuality? and what do I teach her?

    -Sam

  • Ross

    I think Spike's question has merit; how does John reconcile, what appears to me to be, clear Biblical injunctions against homosexuality with his apparent acceptance of it?

    For me, the Bible is clear (1 Corinthians 6:9-10) about the issue and so is foolish to either condone sin or fail to mention the eternal consequences of a life lived in disobediance. What if you gained the trust and friendship of a gay friend by accepting him for who he is, (which is appropriate) but never in love mentioned the clear warning of scripture…even if it came up and he was curious about your thoughts on the issue? When that person faces God on judgement day, they might not think you were such a good friend.

  • http://www.youtube.com/morsec0de Morse

    "how does John reconcile, what appears to me to be, clear Biblical injunctions against homosexuality with his apparent acceptance of it?"

    He understands the world has changed in the last few thousand years? And, while it has taken longer to reach this point, the rules against homosexuality are looking to him to be almost as absurd as "stone disobedient children to death"? I can't speak for John, but perhaps that's it.

  • http://anziulewicz.livejournal.com Chuck Anziulewicz

    "“How does John reconcile, what appears to me to be, clear Biblical injunctions against homosexuality with his apparent acceptance of it?”

    I think Morse may be on the right track. In lieu of any newscasts, bulletins, or phone calls from the Man Upstairs Himself, we may have to rely on two things:

    1: The fact that God apparently HAS INDEED changed his mind about a few things, the Levitical codes concerning diet, hygiene, and social interaction coming most quickly to mind.

    2: The reality of a changing, progressing civilization, and how we go about applying Scripture to it. Yes, the Bible provides us with a valuable ethical framework within which we might conduct our lives with dignity and humility … but the Bible is a textbook of neither science nor psychology.

    IMHO

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com Skerrib

    I can tell you how I reconcile it–being friends with someone doesn't automatically imply acceptance of every one of their practices, beliefs, and theological interpretations. Jesus's death & resurrection freed us from the law and we live (and are saved) by grace. Accepting His gift (to use a Christianese term–can't think of how else to phrase it) gives us freedom in Christ do do/not do as the Holy Spirit leads us. Which frees us to love others without worrying about their sin issues–Jesus paid the price; he deals with each of us individually, with the sins we knowingly commit and those we unknowingly commit. So even if I believe that the rules against homosexuality apply today, it doesn't preclude me from associating with other people based on their actions and lifestyles. If they're doing something wrong I can trust the Holy Spirit to reveal it to them.

    Can I talk about it and share my thoughts? Sure, but only when they've given me permission to speak into their lives (another fantastic term I picked up at church, there). It's not my job to tell people they're wrong; only to share the hope Jesus brings to all of us.

  • http://www.sisterfriends-together.org anita

    John, at first I was a little miffed because the last few days I've spent so much time reading and commenting on the posts you have going that I was being distracted from preparing Sunday's sermon the Wheat and the Weeds (Matthew 13). It's a fascinating parable.

    A householder plants a crop of wheat but as it begins to grow some weeds appear among the wheat. The servants see the weeds and decide to take things in their own hands so they go to the householder and say, "There are weeds in the field! Do you want us to go out to the field and destroy them?" The householder answers them, "NO. Don't pull up the weeds because in doing so you might pull out some of the wheat with it. Instead, let it go and at the harvest they'll be separated." In other words, leave it to the One who reaps the Harvest to judge what is weed and what is wheat because the servants in their zealousness might mistakenly destroy that which is good.

    Okay. Now that I think about it John, your blog has been perhaps been the most helpful sermon aid for the week. Thanks Bro.

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com Skerrib

    Awww, SNAP! That's fantastic Anita! I love it. Lady pastors rock.

  • Ross

    And yet, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 is still there…

  • http://www.youtube.com/morsec0de Morse

    Ross:

    So is Deuteronomy 21:18-21

    Get your kids, I'll get the rocks.

  • http://www.sisterfriends-together.org anita

    Indeed it is Ross, and interestingly enough the word "homosexual" never appeared in translations of that passage (or I Timothy) prior to the 20th century. Historically, the two Greek words in the text have also been translated by Christianity at various times as effeminate males and males who masturbated, which if still applied in our contemporary culture would certainly decrease the population of heterosexuals in heaven.

    Regardless, there were exact and common words Paul could have used to describe same-gender sex in this passage. Instead he used two words; one that's meaning to Paul's time has been completely lost to us and another that referred commonly to those who were morally soft or as already mentioned, effeminate according to their culture (shaving too often, laughing too much, drinking too much, wearing cologne….)

    I find it interesting IF in fact your comment was directed to mine what that has to do with what I wrote. Actually, I take that back. It has to do with exactly what I wrote.

  • http://samwrites2.wordpress.com samwrites2

    Morse,

    I like you, man.

    That's really funny and sad thing is, before I saw you use it so much, I'd tell my kids they were lucky 'cause in Old Testament times they'd have been soooo dead.

    Now I have to verbally abuse, I mean threaten them, with another scripture.

    -Sam

  • arlywn

    I know this is so old, but here I am… going to open this again. Dont hit me, please, lol.

    Okay, to everyone that is freaking out about thiws whole sexuality/ homosexual/ what would jesus do? thing-

    which is more important- talking to someone who is a homosexual and making them feel bad that you are harping about a god that doesnt like them just because they dont like the oposite gender.

    OR>>>>>

    Talking to some one who doesnt even believe the god you are harping about exsists.

    Just a thought.

  • Candace

    EXACTLY, to Skerrib's #22, and Anita's #23.

    And to this from "Spike":

    It is disheartening to think that some will hear the Lord say “And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity” Matt. 7:23 Some will hear this because some pastors and Christians wanted to be “loving”, politically correct, tolerant and diverse.

    … I can only say, and some will hear it because of pride, lack of compassion, and not leaving judgement of others to the Lord.

    Only the Lord knows who is who … unless you think you know his mind better than anyone else?

  • David Barach

    Morse, I don’t think Bibleman throws the bibles, that would be disrespectful. Instead he thumps people with them usually over the head. It’s very effective.

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com Skerrib

    What, your kids aren't profligate drunkards?? Crap, I knew I was doing something wrong… ;)

  • http://www.sisterfriends-together.org anita

    Anita- I’ll look into your take on those two Greek words, but the fact that most evangelical scholars and Bible translators don’t share your interpretation makes me doubt I’ll find your view convincing.

    And that's really fine that I don't convince you Ross. If evangelical christian scholars (as opposed to a wider range of Christian scholars and theologians) are the only ones you consider reliable and contemporary evangelical translations of the bible are the ones that hold the most weight for you, then that's okay too. I'm only suggesting that equally devote and committed Christians who take the Word just as seriously as you (I certainly presume you do), have come to a different interpretative understanding than the one to which you and many (but not all including myself) evangelical Christians subscribe. The words, by the way are arsenkoites and malakoi. Just roll off your tongue, don't they? :)

    Glad to hear by the way that your preschoolers have a handle on their drinking. Whew…

  • Spike

    Yes. I have a log (or plank) in my eye. I am not afraid to preach the truth. God is the same yesterday, today and forever.

    A command in the Bible is meant to be obeyed by any and all people who claim allegiance to Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord.

    I'm sorry but, the two terms, "gay" and "Christian" are mutually exclusive, incompatible, incongruous.

    JUDE1:3 Dear friends, although I have been eager to write to you about our common salvation, I now feel compelled instead to write to encourage you to contend earnestly for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints. 1:4 For certain men have secretly slipped in among you – men who long ago were marked out for the condemnation I am about to describe – ungodly men who have turned the grace of our God into a license for evil and who deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

    1:5 Now I desire to remind you (even though you have been fully informed of these facts once for all that Jesus, having saved the people out of the land of Egypt, later destroyed those who did not believe. 1:6 You also know that the angels who did not keep within their proper domain but abandoned their own place of residence, he has kept in eternal chains in utter darkness, locked up for the judgment of the great Day. 1:7 So also Sodom and Gomorrah and the neighboring towns, since they indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire in a way similar to these angels, are now displayed as an example by suffering the punishment of eternal fire.

    1:8 Yet these men, as a result of their dreams, defile the flesh, reject authority, and insult the glorious ones. 1:9 But even when Michael the archangel was arguing with the devil and debating with him concerning Moses’ body, he did not dare to bring a slanderous judgment, but said, “May the Lord rebuke you!” 1:10 But these men do not understand the things they slander, and they are being destroyed by the very things that, like irrational animals, they instinctively comprehend. 1:11 Woe to them! For they have traveled down Cain’s path,…

    “I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws.” (Psalm 119:7)

    I'll be signing off now for good. I'm sure that will please those who want to get the Bible to conform to their wicked ways. The Bible is the infallible word of God. It doesn't change with the "times" In fact, the Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun. Times haven't changed as much as you think.

    My prayer is that you seek the truth. Don't search for what you want to hear in the form of ear tickling sermons. Beware of apostates and false teachers.

  • ANNA

    @ Spike well spoken,,and good questions? God bless you,,,

  • http://www.sisterfriends-together.org anita

    Oh. My. Goodness. I….I….I can't believe that…..oh….some people just….uhhhh…..gosh….I…..ummmm…..merciful God in heaven…..

  • http://www.youtube.com/morsec0de Morse

    "I’ll be signing off now for good."

    Am I the only one who pictured someone sticking their fingers in their ears and running away screaming "I'm not listening, I'm not listening, la la la la la la la!"?

  • arlywn

    wait… did we just win that? Score one for heathen side. lol. No that joke will never get old. ever.

  • Candace

    If you're referring to Spike leaving, Arlywn, no, "we" didn't really "win" anything there. I always consider it a loss when someone packs their marbles and goes home.

    Plus, you perhaps forget the "heathens" aren't the only ones here standing up for an open heart vs a closed one.

  • http://www.sisterfriends-together.org anita

    Plus, you perhaps forget the “heathens” aren’t the only ones here standing up for an open heart vs a closed one.

    That's not missed at all Candace. Not at all.

  • yukona

    Gosh, Spike, you're so gay and you don't even like boys.

  • Ross

    As of yet my kids (3 and 5) aren’t “profligate drunkards”, but if things change I’ll let you know…

    Anita- I’ll look into your take on those two Greek words, but the fact that most evangelical scholars and Bible translators don’t share your interpretation makes me doubt I’ll find your view convincing.

  • arlywn

    Im sure some where, you guys arguing over the bible is just as bad as us not being christian. So, technically that makes you guys heathens too. Im not forgetting you- I'm including you.

    and it is a shame when people stop participating, but… considering how I've had lots of people yell me down in these situations- its a win. to me. lol.

    you know john, this title suggests some oddly provacative things. And that makes it way wronger…

  • Candace

    Ahhhh, gotcha. In a strange way, you kinda make sense. :-)

    (Killing time before church starts, I am. Almost time to go …)

  • Candace

    Dang. First smiley intended. Second smiley just happened, like they do sometimes …

  • Candace

    You think YOU get yelled down. I think our friend Anita is still recovering!

    Hey, Anita, be sure and let us know how the wheat and weeds sermon goes over, 'k?

  • Karin

    I'm a gay woman. And I'm a Christian.

    And I do believe the Bible when it says:

    John 3:16

    16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that WHOEVER believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

    Whoever does not leave a space for, "except" so and so, or gays. It says "whoever".

  • http://fvthinker.blogspot.com Mike (FVThinker) Burns

    Spike is (to my mind) what is wrong with religion. There will always be this type of interpretation…because it is just that…interpretation. There is no wrong answer to interpreting holy texts. Spike’s interpretation is just as valid as everybody else’s here. (If only the bible weren’t self-conflicting and written in obtuse parables!)

    As far as God putting this book in your hands at the moment you were thinking about it….shall I get into statistics? How many times have you thought about gender roles and God DIDN’T put a book in your hands. Probably way more times than than when he did. The human animal remembers the ‘hits’ and forgets the ‘misses’.

    But of course you knew that. Keep up the good work.

  • Candace

    Mike, you have no idea what you're talking about.

    And I think you know it, too.


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