A Pink Wall? “God Is Outraged!”

This is what you see in our new home when you walk up the stairs from our living room. You can’t tell because the image is flattened, but if you turned right (instead of walking into the pink wall), you’d then begin up the second set of stairs leading to the second floor.

We wanted the wall of the stairway pink—and by Gumby, that’s the way our extremely intense Korean house painter, Eun Koo Kang, painted it. Eun Koo, as it turns out, is a Seriously Devout Christian—which means, for instance, that he isn’t free to work Sundays, since he spends literally all day at church. Commendable man of faith!

Eun Koo also comes fully charged with all of the testosterone a man can process without actually turning into the Incredible Hulk.

A true artist at his trade, Eun tried to hide his consternation at our having chosen to paint a perfectly good wall in our new home pink, but failed.

“No, no,” he finally burst out brusquely. “Pink is not the color you want here.”

“But it is,” said my wife, Cat. “That’s what we want. Pink. Right on that wall.” Cat’s a petite, extremely good-natured woman. But you don’t mess with her about stuff like this.

Eun Koo practically Tae Kwon Doed us out the door, he was so disgusted by our lack of color propriety. But finally he resigned himself to painting our wall pink.

Ever since I’ve been wondering what, exactly, Eun thought as he applied the first stroke of pink upon the wall that only moments before he had, in a final effort, encouraged us to paint, “Any color not crazy.”

I figure one or some combination of the following went through Eun Koo’s mind as he applied that first stroke of glowing pink to our wall:

1. “What is wrong with eggshell? It is perfect.”

2. “I miss Korea. We’re such a sane people.”

3. “Why does the man allow his wife to tell him what color to paint the walls? He is weak.”

4. “I should dress in a little girl’s skirt while I apply this ridiculous color.”

5. “They will never know that beneath this paint lies the Korean characters for “God Is Outraged!”

6. “This actually looks kind of nice. I was wrong to show my condemnation. Humility is the key to grace. I must remember.”

7. “Come to think of it, what do i care? It’s their money.”

8. “The husband does have an engagingly animated, very expressive, almost manically creative way about him. Maybe he’s fegulah.”

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. John is a pastor ordained by The Progressive Christian Alliance. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. And don't forget to sign up for his mucho awesome monthly newsletter.

  • http://blog.locusmeus.com/ Els

    I like the pink there, and I think the walls on either side should be pink too, but then a darker shade. What I'm wondering though – if that wall is the only pink wall in your house – do you have any other bright and happy colours around the house? And if not, why did you choose that one single wall to be pink, are you planning to do something special with it, like ehm.. have an upside down bunch of dried pink roses hanging there? :-)

  • Candace

    Yeah! I love pink. Nothing wrong with pink. I'm actually thinking of doing my whole living room in a dusty, terra-cotta-influenced shade of pink.

    It looks good there, John. And I like the way it affects the other two walls.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Angel: For sure you're the first person I've ever met who's actually ANTI-pink. What's that about?

    teevee: You're right. We are brave. It's like we're BraveValentineHeart

    As a matter of fact, we DO have other happy colors in the house. Five altogether, actually. My wife will be pleased to learn that the subject of our wall colors has generated so much interest, support, and informed reflection. I, for one, had no idea anyone CARED what color other people's walls are—except I AM interested in how people use color in their lives, so forget I said that. Anyway, great comment!

    Judy: Ahhh, pink. What's not to like? Of course, I had to paint my office blue. Because, you know.

    Candace: Hey! We DID do our whole living room in a dust, terra-cotta-influenced shade of pink! That's what the pink you see here COMPLEMENTS!! Holy cow! I may have to post MORE pictures of our walls! Hey, man. I'll do it. I will. I'm not kidding. Hey. Don't make me break out my camera. I'll BE that boring, man.

  • http://angelbearoh.wordpress.com angelbearoh

    I don’t expect to have my own house very soon that I can paint, but I’ll tell you this much, none of my cartoon characters or mascot costumes will ever wear pink.

  • http://www.tvbblog.com teeveebee

    You are very, very brave people.

    = )

  • Judy

    If you like pink, then it’s all good.

  • http://www.lmurl.blogspot.com Linz

    I'll admit I was sad when this post wasn't a rant about how outraged God was at the angst filled rockstar, Pink … (who happens to be one of my faves). Maybe you can post your feelings on that? She just put a new album out.

  • FreetoBe

    Sorry John, that is just not an attractive color :( Reminds me of Pepto-Bismol. Sorry, maybe it looks better in up close.

  • FreetoBe

    Maybe with all the artwork and other stuff covering the walls, it will look better?

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    It looks good NOW, sister! (It dried to a much less … shiny version than you see here.)

  • Candace

    @ JS (re #6):

    DO IT. Post more :-)

    Got any of that teal-ish sorta blue-green? The kind that looks English countryside estate-ish at night and cool Carribean beach house during the day? My last apartment, I painted the living room that color, with white trim and fireplace mantel. The fireplace tiles were brownish-red and my furniture was pale yellow. Big windows on 3 sides. THAT ROOM ROCKED. I still miss it.

    (In northern Wisconsin an apartment like that costs like $500 a month to rent. I so love the affordability here.)

    WOW. I feel so bonded now. What luck we found each other ;-)

  • FreetoBe

    OK, post more of the DRIED color, so we can see it. With stuff on the walls.

  • http://blog.locusmeus.com/ Els

    I agree, post more pictures of coloured walls :-)

    Do you know there are entire web sites dedicated to looking into other people’s homes? I look at them for inspiration for my own place – you can never have too many ideas for home decoration!

  • http://www.kellykirbyfisher.blogspot.com Kelly

    I love the warmth and depth of colored walls in a home! Unfortunately, we are planning on selling our home in the next 12-18 months and I am in the process of “neutralizing everything” – which means no more colors. And, if you are wondering why I am starting to paint this far from the date we plan to sell our house – well, I am doing the painting myself and I have to paint a living room, dining room, kitchen, breakfast room, family room, hallway, 3 bathrooms, a 2 story entry, the upstairs hallway and 4 bedrooms upstairs. I am, however, using different “shades” of white – just to make “neutral” a little more exciting! LOL

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Kelly: Are you kidding? You’re doing all that painting YOURSELF?? Yikes, man. I can’t even imagine. I believe even the great Eun Koo Kang would balk at that. Amazing. Good luck!!

    Els: WHERE IS THE WEBSITE WHERE WE GET TO LOOK INTO THE HOMES OF OTHERS!! It’s not a porn site, right? Because you know this is a family blog.

  • http://blog.locusmeus.com/ Els

    I’ll have to look up other sites, but here’s one of which I know the URL by heart: http://wherewedowhatwedo.com/

    Although it is not limited to work places, it seems most submissions are of home offices. Obviously, as soon as you have unpacked your office stuff, you’ll just have to post a nice pic of your blue office there! :-)

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    I WOULD like to "review" Pink's new album. I spent years writing disc reviews; I actually miss that work. I LOVE having opinions about the artistic work of others.

    Of course, to review that disc I'd have to go out and BUY it–or download it. Hmm. That's only about … what … 12 bucks or whatever.

    The thing is, though, I don't think anyone CARES what I might think about Pink's latest album. Those days are GONE from me, man.

    Hmmmm. Maybe I should just start doing album reviews. Change my whole Blog Thing. That would be fun. Except writing a real review is HARD.

    Why am I babbling like this again? Oh, that's right. So I don't have to clean house. Which now involves waking up and down three flights of stairs. Which I'm cool with. But which have already made my knees look like Popeye's face.

  • http://www.mymenandme.wordpress.com Janelle

    Congratulations on the house. I can tell you are having fun. Your writing oozes fun these days. Paint it whatever colour you want, because it’s yours! But quit slamming our Canadian air, eh.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    It WAS wrong for me to make an Air Canada joke, I know. But I figured, who doesn’t love Canada? And who doesn’t think of it as having extremely clean air. So I figured I was safe. It was either that, or do an French Joke. And that’s just too easy…

  • http://www.kellykirbyfisher.blogspot.com Kelly

    John,

    Paiting is like therapy for me….sometimes, if I am really stressed out – I will draw a picture of whatever OR whoever is just on my last nerve…and then happily paint right over their face! LOL

  • http://ricbooth.wordpress.com ric booth

    You two are so Cali.

    And fegulah… I live such a sheltered life here on the east coast. I had to google it.

  • Christine

    Thinking of music reviewers, John have you read the book "I hate myself and I want to die – the 50 most depressing love songs ever"?? Sounds kinda stink but one of the funniest books I have read in a very long time!!! I am not usually into reviews, I like making up my own mind on things , I feel like its kinda like taking someone's word on what someone else is like without ever having spoken to them. But this was insightful, unapologetic and oh so funny. Reckon everone should read it. And if you don't like it, eh I still do :P

    On the topic of pink walls, at my parents holiday home they had a room that was bright magenta pink with gold strips and green swirls. The house use to be owned by an artist and she was………….creative?? It was a talking piece until my dad woke up with a migraine one day, saw the pattern and vomited (ewwwww). So now it is a easy on the eye lilac colour, not so much a talking piece any more :(

  • http://suddenlyatheist.wordpress.com/ morsec0de

    If god didn’t like pink, why did he make your face that particular shade, John? ;)

    Be careful with the canned air, btw. I hear that people can get addicted.

  • Beth

    Dear John,

    I have so enjoyed reading your posts- especially the random ones that make so much sense to me. Should I be worried? As a homeowner of ? years, I better clue you in- enjoy the pink while you can because you will be compelled, whether by yourself of your wife, to paint again! The deep dark secret of homeownership is- this is just the beginning. My husband continues to ask- after living in the present house for 7+ years- "Didn't you say this was the 'perfect' house when we bought it? If so, why do we have to spend so much money changing it?!" Welcome to the club. Resist if you can.

    happy trails…

  • Ross

    Eggshell isn’t a color…

  • arlywn

    you;re right john- god shall smite you… pink is a no no…. a big one. And you broke that… horribly. but, what more can I say? just mroe proof that you are going somewhere hotter when you die.

  • http://semperfid.blogspot.com Joel

    Hey, that's awesome. If you can pull off a pink wall in your house — good on ya'!

    Why pink?

    We did my bedroom brown once. Everyone thought it was going to look gross, but we stylized the paint to give it a neat leather look. With the wood bookcases (I have a lot of books) and other wood stuff it looked kinda' like an old study in a cabin.

  • http://paintingdenver.net/ Cal Phillips

    Probably the real reason the painter did not like painting with this color is from paint splatters on his drop cloth and clothing. A quick way to overcome this is to wear a very light weight disposable zippered jumpsuit, laying plastic over his drop cloth. Our painters see to it when using shades of Yellows.

  • Robert Meek

    We had a entire tri-level house with PINK EXTERIOR aluminum siding. At that same time, my mother had a pink dress, purse, and shoes. But not pink hair.

    I was six.

    It was, allegedly, my fault, because I "wanted" a "pink house" and a "pink mama," and as my parents were building a new one, mama prevailed, and had the exterior done in PINK.

    Looking back on it, it actually looked fairly nice, best as I can recall.

  • chellee

    I happen to LOVE pink. I HAVE had pink walls and would TOTALLY have them again. And wearing a girlie skirt whilst I paint sounds like a very wise idea! lol


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