2009 Has Broken My Brain

A pox upon these these accursed new years, with their positively pristine possibilities, their perfectly positioned potentialities, their perennial promise of power and prestige! A large pox, too! A medium or small pox won’t do in this case! For already has the chubby-cheeked 2009 cherub changed into a chuckling, cheerful Chucky chillingly chopping at my chances for change.

Um.

Say, would you please excuse that? I’m terribly sorry for it. I have no idea what that was. I’m having a perfectly fine year. In the past week I’ve written over 30,000 publishable words. That’s 75% of an entire trade paperback book.

Oh, [unacceptably un-Christian word]. I knew this was going to happen.

I’ve broken my brain.

Bummer. Bad beginning. Boy, I better begin bouncing back before blindly and blithely becoming beyond the bounds best

Please help me.

 

Even though at this point it’s probably useless, join my Facebook page.

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter.

  • http://www.todayscoolnews.com Brian Shields

    A chicken pox on all your houses, John Shore. ;)

  • Sam

    While perfectly poised to praise your prose, your boss brain remains buoyant yet broken beyond this fan's fumble-fingered fixing.

  • http://inkstainedpaws.blogspot.com Casey

    oh no! Make it stop! You'll break my mind if you arent careful- and I really, really, need to focus on my evolution…..

  • Latoya

    ummmm….boredom???

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Casey: Your personal evolution, you mean, or just … evolution generally? Either way, for Key Evolution Information, I totally recommend watching Jerry Springer. Talk about … feedback.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Latoya: the opposite of boredom, really. Brain bust.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Sam: Outstanding! You the man.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Brian: Hilarious/clever as ever. I know! Let's trade brains! Could you Fed-Ex me yours, please?

  • http://inkstainedpaws.blogspot.com Casey

    personal and my project on evolution for school.

  • Candace

    That's the problem, Casey! You are multi-tasking. That should be avoided at all costs. Do the project first, since (I assume) there's a deadline ;-)

    Bet John's been doing the same thing (multi-tasking). See where that gets you in the long run?!?

  • http://suddenlyatheist.wordpress.com/ morsec0de

    “Bummer. Bad beginning. Boy, I better begin bouncing back before blindly and blithely becoming beyond the bounds best”

    Blimey.

  • http://www.grace-gracetoday.blogspot.com Sharon Grace

    John,

    We had such a horrible spell of horrible weather at the start of January. That may have contributed to your mental condition. I know I was so cold I put on socks three days in a row…

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Sharon: Yes, as a fellow San Diegan, I know you share my pain.


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