My Bloggylaggin’ is Your Fault

“Bloggylaggin.” Sounds like the name of a flabby leprechaun.

Leprechauns!

Be afraid! (If you’re wondering what I mean, go here.)

Today I didn’t put up a blog post all the way until right now, which is 4:30 p.m. PST. (Possibly Stupendous Turnips? Potentially Sensitive Tummy? Periodically Stuttering Transvestite? Positively Stupid Trend? Probably Should Terminate?)

You know why? Because I had to take on work!

That’s right. Someone out there—a Quite Famous Author—is now paying me to run through her book, and Fix It Up.

I blame you. You had a chance to fork over a bill or two so I wouldn’t have to take on Actual Jobs. We could have been pals with pay. I could have today spent the many minutes hours that I usually do, and come up with yet another blog post so mind-bogglingly amusing, so piercingly insightful, so bombastically delicious that reading it would have caused you to chuck up something disgusting onto your keyboard. But that didn’t happen, did it?

No. And why not?!

Because I have to pay my rent mortgage, that’s why! (Why is there a “t” in that word? I hate Daniel Webster.)

You had your chance, man. You blew it. It’s not my problem.

NOW (well, for the next five days, cuz it’s a Rush Job) I’ll just have to blog whenever I can. And now I’ll blog about any stupid thing, too. Too bad for you. The good stuff is gone, man! Gone! Now I might just have to blog my grocery shopping list. My griefs against my next-door neighbor for as long as I continue to let him live. Pictures of the dustballs growing on the floor behind our dining room curtains that I’m actually starting to throw food to.

Cuz I don’t care anymore, man. I can’t. I have to work!

This is your fault.

And you’ll pay for it.

Oh, you’ll pay.

About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter.

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com skerrib

    I believe it's PDT these days. Unless you really meant PST, in which case you actually posted at what would've been 5:30 your time. Which would've been 6:30 my time (MDT), and the sun didn't set for a good hour and a half after that.

    This thing you call 'work'–I think I had to do that a couple weeks ago. The paycheck was nice, but it totally got in the way of blogging and Facebook. Stupid work!

  • Greta Sheppard

    Wow . . .you actually have been asked by a famous writer to edit his/her/their book? Fantastic…..how neat for you…I mean it..I am happy for you that you get to work in your niche…does that sound right?…i don't know..but congrats anyways!

    • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

      Thank you, Greta; and thank you, as well, for all the wonderful comments you leave here, to which I too often fail to respond. I love all your comments, and always enjoy reading them, very much.

      And you're right: it is good to do this sort of work. I used to do this kind of editing all the time; it's something I really enjoy doing, but rarely do anymore. Editing like this—reshaping, modifying, altering, etc.—is a really kind of … weird skill set, and it's nice to flex those muscles again. REALLY nice, actually; I forgot how much I love this kind of work. I did it maybe a year ago for someone who wanted me to evaluate/edit his novel for him, and I've kind of been yearning to do it again ever since. So yes, as you say, this is a good thing.

  • Dan Harrell

    John,

    I only now returned from my meeting of the procrastinators club. It was scheduled for last week but we never got around to actually meeting until last night, so you see that when I wish you happy birthday, I am not late because I couldn’t read my calendar, but because of all the fractious goings on with my club.

    So anyway, happy birthday.

    P.S. Did you every stop itching?

    Your friend Dan

    • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

      Dan! Yes, I stopped itching.

      I still itch in my soul, though. But that's really a different problem.

      Thanks for the birthday wish!!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitenoisemetalpodcast Brian Shields

    I want a refund!

    • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

      You'll be comforted to know, Mr. Shields–my greatest benefactor, my most generous patron–that I took the donation you were kind enough to send me, and, desiring to above all properly and soberly marshall such a precious resource and gift, immediately invested it in the stock market.

  • kim

    Martgage – you are killing (mort) your debt …………very very slowly.


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