My Favorite “Seinfeld” Moment!

About two years ago I bought seasons 1-8 of “Seinfeld” from a guy selling them on Craigslist for $35. One of the great cheapo buys of my life. But I was crushed (well: I was semi-mooshed) to discover that the “Seinfeld” moment that for some 10 years I’d been replaying in my head and completely cracking up over wasn’t a moment anywhere in the first eight seasons!

Aaaarrrrggghhhhhhh.

So I waited, and waited, and waited for the final season of Seinfeld to ever go on sale anywhere. And it never did. Until, that is, the night before last, when I finally bought it for $17.99 at Target.

Whoo-hoo!

An hour after The Big Purchase, while my wife sat patiently on the couch beside me, I played the All-Time Classic “Seinfeld” Moment (for me) three times over, and then stopped so I wouldn’t die of collapsed lungs or a dislocated diaphragm.

The quote I’d been playing in my head, and now own to watch in all its original glory whenever I want, is:

“You know, Darren, if you had told me twenty-five years ago that someday I’d be standing here about to solve the world’s energy problems, I would have said you were crazy. Now let’s push this giant ball of oil out the window.”—Kramer, to Darren, his Kramerica intern.

I’m so happy.

Do you have a favorite “Seinfeld” quote or moment? Wanna make me happy? THEN SHARE IT! Stuff just kills me.

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is co-founder of The NALT Christians Project and founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here). His blog is here. His website is JohnShore.com. John is a pastor ordained by The Progressive Christian Alliance. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. And don't forget to sign up for his mucho awesome monthly newsletter.

  • http://megaloi.blogspot.com Redlefty

    Kramer's quote to Jerry, talking about an upcoming trip (I think):

    "Jerry, up here (pointing to his head)… I'm already gone!"

    • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

      YEAH! What WAS that moment?? What a hilarious line. It’s perfect.

  • Latoya

    Oh Jeez can I really choose one?? Hmmmm….

    In this particular episode different people in different scenes say this while they are eating pretzels, "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" Cracks me up everytime, although I really cant explain why its funny. LOL

  • http://florencefamilyfun.com Lisa

    I feel really sacreligious everytime I laugh at it, but "a Festivus for the rest of us" cracks me up. "Airing of grievances" and "feats of strength"… And Mr. Kruger sitting at the table with Frank berating him.

  • Heather

    I love "The Burning" Episode.Elaine finds out that Puddy is religious afer barrowing his car where the radio is pre set to a Christian Rock station. Cracks me up every time!

    Elaine: Is it a problem that I'm not really religious?

    Puddy: Not for me.

    Elaine: Why not?

    Puddy: I'm not the one going to hell.

  • Layner

    The "Master of My Domain" episode when the four have just placed the bet, and are watching the woman across the street. Kramer gets up, walks out, and returns a minute later, slams his money on the counter, and proclaims "I'M OUT!"

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    I really can't stand this. Each one of these is more precious than the next. Festivus! I think the Festivus episode is my favorite. AND I WAS JUST WATCHING THE PUDDY RELIGIOUS RADIO SHOW YESTERDAY.

    I can't stand it. I CAN'T STAND IT!!

    That moment when Kramer slams down his money after losing the contest is as funny as anything in the history of cracking up.

  • http://megaloi.blogspot.com Redlefty

    Also, I've been known to yell "SERENITY NOW!" at random moments.

  • Lisa

    I don't think I've EVER watched a whole episode of Seinfeld, an may be the one and only person on this planet that can say that. Am I a freak?

    But does it count that I bought the whole series DVD set as a gift for my daddy?

    Love hearing everyones favs!

  • http://christianranter.wordpress.com Des

    Jerry: "I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he's converted to Judaism purely for the jokes."

    Minister: "And this offends you as a Jewish person?"

    Jerry: "No, it offends me as a comedian."

    Kramer: "What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland?"

    Mr. Leland: "Kramer, I've been reviewing your work. Quite frankly, it stinks."

    Kramer: "Well, I've been having trouble at home and, uh, I'll work harder. Nights, weekends, whatever it takes."

    Mr Leland: "No, no, I don't think that's going to do it. These reports you handed in, it's almost as if you have no business training at all. I don't know what this is supposed to be."

    Kramer: "Well, I'm just trying to get ahead."

    Mr Leland: "I'm sorry, there's just no way that we can keep you on."

    Kramer: "I don't even really work here."

    Mr Leland: "That's what makes this so difficult."

  • Latoya

    OM My God!!! DWL!!!! Da one deh nearly kill me!!! People please stop it. I am at work! stop making me laugh out loud in di people dem office!

  • Latoya

    Ok, I didnt actually mean you should stop, please send some more :)

  • Heather

    I think the Seinfeld where the entire episode takes place lost in a parking garage is genius!

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com skerrib

    The first episode I ever saw in reruns (somehow never watched during its first run) remains my favorite–where Kramer has been shooting golf balls off a cliff into the ocean, and then George comes upon the beached whale and pulls a golf ball from its blowhole. Awesome.

  • Kelly

    I’m not a big enough fan to actually remember the actual dialogue but my top three favorites are:

    1) Soup Nazi (no explanation necessary)

    2) Sponge worthy (Elaine’s new screening process)

    3) The Rye (George meets parents and Kramer feeds horse chili)

  • Kelly

    Oh yeah…..Master of my domain (from above comment) when Kramer slammed his money down 5 minutes later and said “I’m out!” C L A S S I C!

  • http://kansasbob.com Kansas Bob

    Now that was a great moment.. poor Darren.. wonder if her ever got out of jail?

    Here is my favorite moment.. it is better than yours by the way :)

    http://www.kansasbob.com/2007/02/you-want-piece-o

  • Jessica

    Jerry – "But you yada'ed over the best part." Elaine – "No, I mentioned the bisque."

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Jessica: I take mine back. Yours IS the best. Her delivery of that line is absolutely perfect. It's just priceless.

  • Live & Learn

    This scene just knocks me out — from Jerry's frustration to Elaine's comment at the end! Sally, played by the annoying Kathy Griffin, causes Jerry to lose a special jar of BBQ sauce for his act, so he decides to get her back by making her lug a whole box to NY:

    JERRY: How was your flight? (Wishful thinking) Pretty uncomfortable?

    SALLY: (Setting the box down on his table) Actually, the seat next to me was empty, so, there was no problem at all.

    JERRY: (Let down) Oh.. (Starts to open the box) Oh, wait.. (Holding up one of the BBQ jars) This isn't the sauce that I asked for!

    SALLY: That's right. It's a special gourmet sauce. "The Pride of Memphis!"

    JERRY: (Complaining) No, no. I wanted the one in the little bottle with that guy on it that looks like Charles Grodin!

    SALLY: This is much better. And frankly, in Memphis, we think that other sauce as (Whispering) kind of a joke.

    JERRY: I know it's a joke. It's supposed to be a joke! Now I'm going on the Charles Grodin Show with nothing. (Sets the jar down angrily) Nothing!

    SALLY: You could just do your material.

    JERRY: (Peeved) I don't have any material!

    ELAINE: (Yelling out) He's got nothin'!

    **** "That's gold, Jerry. Gold!" (Also a favorite!)

  • steve

    Some feds are in Jerry's apartment, questioning him about his stolen cable. He tries to run, and they gun him down in slow motion. It must have been the last episode or something.

  • David

    The scene where Kramer is not wearing underwear.

    Jerry: "Don't you see?!?" There's nothing between us and him but a thin layer of gabardine."

    Kramer: "I'm out there Jerry! And I'm loving every minute of it!"

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    YEAH! And the way Kramer hits/roars the word, "LOVIN'!" is just too classic…!