Thank God for Poor, Stupid Bible Thumpers

funny

Look how funny!

The one group of Americans our media is still very comfortable making fun of is poor, white, uneducated Southerners. Bonus laughs if you make them Bible thumpers!

Making fun of blacks is certainly not acceptable anymore. Big-chested blonde bimbos are no longer funny. Mexican sidekicks have run their course. It’s still okay to laugh at gays—but nowhere near as okay as it is to laugh at hayseed ignoramuses.

And now we have Bruno, an outrageously gay man making fun of hayseed ignoramuses! Can you spell surefire media frenzy?! Not if you’re from the South!

Isn’t it great that so many other people are uneducated, spiritually immature, racist homophobes?

Without them, who would the rest of us left at?

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is co-founder of The NALT Christians Project and founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here). His blog is here. His website is JohnShore.com. John is a pastor ordained by The Progressive Christian Alliance. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. And don't forget to sign up for his mucho awesome monthly newsletter.

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitenoisemetalpodcast Brian Shields

    I'm surprised you put down the snakes long enough to type this blog post.

    I'm kidding. It's just a joke.

    Actually I think it's always been considered okay to laugh at stupid people (or people you can smugly feel confident are more stupid than you think you are) especially if they don't share your worldview. But to be clear here, just because many ignoramuses are Christian doesn't mean many Christians are ignoramuses.

    You don't see a lot of humor directed at Christian theologians although did you hear the one about Teilhard de Chardin? Yeah me neither.

  • http://www.maranathachapel.org Tim

    Donald Miller makes a keen reference in one of his books to the "Lifeboat" theory. Regardless of our racial, economical, ideological, or political stratum, we all make judgments about whether someone else sitting on either side of us is as deserving of the same level of rights, freedoms, respect, dignity, etc. that we enjoy. Left solely to our own call, we put ourselves numero uno in the lifeboat. Yet left to a democratic vote from the rest of the group, we could easily find ourselves treading water as the rest of the group waves a convincingly sad farewell.

    Every time I put on a set of those ugly discolored hillbilly Halloween teeth, I invariably say something like, "Howdy, there friend…welcome to WalMart!" I broadcast that I think the "real" me is a tad better than the character I portray. The embarrassing truth often comes to light, that the green gap-tooth fellow with the fifth-grade education, and attire from the NASCAR Collection at WalMart, has twice the humility and integrity that I have. So YES, thank God for the poor, stupid, Bible thumpers, because more than likely, they will help me to see what an intolerable bastard I am.

  • http://emphaticasterisk.com Lindsey

    I find the whole mess to be utterly distasteful. Not to mention that any mocking done out of genuine dislike instead of loving chiding is just… well, it does nothing but exaggerate differences in the worst of ways.

    For an example, look at Prairie Home Companion's chiding of conservative small town life and compare it to, well, Bruno. One makes people say, "well we are a little silly sometimes aren't we?" The other makes them say things that it would be unseemly to write.

    *sigh* there is a place for humor, as you well know. There is no place in my heart for humor that comes from hatred or anger.

  • http://sharpiron.org Christian Beyer

    And if they smoke cigarettes, too…..

  • OldStuff1835

    We probably all wander from the the most tolerant of roads on occasion. When it comes to the stereotypical 'poor, ignorant, southern, bible-thumper'; I find sadness that there is an environment and mode of thought that would leave people poor and ignorant.

    We can't refute the demonstrable fact that overlaying maps of median income, educational level, academic performance, and level of religiosity….that they are effectively one-and-the-same. This map is generally described as the bible belt.

    I suggest that we address the 'ignorance' portion of the equation and get the bible belt up to [at least] national standards in the sciences and math. The 'poor' part of the equation then can take care of itself.

  • http://fvthinker.blogspot.com Mike (FVThinker) Bur

    just following comments

  • OldStuff1835

    @C. Beyer…

    I show open disdain for smokers. I figure if there is someone that lives in western society and is under 50 years old and consciously decided to start smoking; they have well demonstrated that they are not the sharpest tool in the shed.

    Our state is now 'smoke-free' (which I enjoy immensely), but now we have to run a gauntlet of addicts when entering our restaurants and have butts strewn all over the sidewalk and gutter.

    That is somewhat balanced by the immense respect I have for those that have successfully kicked their addiction…an addiction show to be at least as strong as cocaine or heroin.

  • mm

    A friend of my fathers runs a non profit radio station about 60 miles outside of Denver, Co. In order to get an FCC license as a non-profit entity, he had to let anyone who lived in that county have a radio show.

    A regular sunday contributor has a two hour program where his materials consist of

    This month's issue of Guns and Ammo

    The bible

    A bottle of wild turkey

    A couple of Beach Boys Albums.

    Unfortunately, I've never had the pleasure of hearing the program.

  • Angel

    [John Darling, here's a whopper I saw on the net I knew you would love!]

    (The following paper was inspired by Bill O’Reilly whose TV show favors God Dumpers and not “Bible Thumpers.” Quotes are from “Vital Quotations” by Emerson West.)

    DANGEROUS BIBLE THUMPERS OF AMERICA

    ROBERT E. LEE: “In all my perplexities and distresses, the Bible has never failed to give me light and strength.” (p. 21)

    DANIEL WEBSTER: “If we abide by the principles taught in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper.” (p. 21)

    JOHN QUINCY ADAMS: “I have made it a practice for several years to read the Bible through in the course of every year.” (p. 22)

    ABRAHAM LINCOLN: “I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man. All the good from the Saviour of the world is communicated to us through this book.” (p. 22)

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible.” (p. 22)

    HORACE GREELEY: “It is impossible to mentally or socially enslave a Bible-reading people.” (p. 23)

    THOMAS JEFFERSON: “I hold the precepts of Jesus as delivered by himself to be the most pure, benevolent, and sublime which have ever been preached to man. I adhere to the principles of the first age; and consider all subsequent innovations as corruptions of this religion, having no foundation in what came from him.” (p. 45)

    THOMAS JEFFERSON: “Had the doctrines of Jesus been preached always as pure as they came from his lips, the whole civilized world would by now have become Christian.” (p. 47)

    BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: “As to Jesus of Nazareth, my opinion of whom you particularly desire, I think the system of morals and his religion, as he left them to us, is the best the world ever saw, or is likely to see.” (p.49)

    WOODROW WILSON: “The sum of the whole matter is this—-that our civilization cannot survive materially unless it be redeemed spiritually. It can only be saved by becoming permeated with the spirit of Christ and being made free and happy by practices which spring out of that spirit.” (p. 143)

    PATRICK HENRY: “There is a just God who presides over the destiny of nations.” (p. 145)

    THOMAS JEFFERSON: “Material abundance without character is the surest way to destruction.” (p. 225)

    THOMAS JEFFERSON: “Of all the systems of morality, ancient or modern, which have come under my observation, none appear to me so pure as that of Jesus.” (p. 237)

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low, that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.” (p. 283)

    BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: “Here is my creed. I believe in one God, the Creator of the universe. That he governs it by his Providence. That he ought to be worshiped.” (p. 301)

    CALVIN COOLIDGE: “The strength of a country is the strength of its religious convictions.” (p. 305)

    GEORGE WASHINGTON: “The perpetuity of this nation depends upon the religious education of the young.” (p. 306)

    Prior to our increasingly “Hell-Bound and Happy” era, America’s greatest leaders were part of the (gulp) Religious Right! Today we’ve forgotten God’s threat (to abort America) in Psa. 50:22—-”Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.” Memo to God Dumpers: In light of Rev. 16:19, can you be sure you won’t be in a city that God has already reserved for destruction?

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/johnshore/ John Shore

      Ummmm okay.