I Laughed So Hard At This I Feared for My Life

This, to me, is about as funny as five minutes can possibly get.

See also my really pretty much entirely hilarious Go to Work as The Twelve Days of Christmas.

About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter. If you shop at Amazon, help support John by entering the site through this link right here--Amazon will then send John 3-4% of the cost of anything you buy before exiting the site again.

 

  • Grace Dreger

    "Two things of ..rum."

    You're right to divorce you wife. -Never thought I'd say that.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    THE "TWO THINGS OF RUM" JUST KILLED ME!!! Unbelievable. That is the funniest moment EVER. That, and " … DUCK." And the " … some whiskey someone left there." All of it. Incredible. I've been listening to it all day, and every time I laugh so hard I end up worrying that I might die or … burst something.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Jerri: What happens when you hit the … big white "Play" arrow/button? Does it just spin and not load? (And what do you mean, you can't open it EITHER. Has someone ELSE had trouble opening it?)

    Tap the video twice and it'll take you right to the UTube site, where you can hear it.

  • http://jerrisblog.blogspot.com Jerri Harrington

    Okay….this must be funny…but I can’t open it either! I’ve tried many times. Maybe that’s what is so funny…you making us THINK something is there but it isn’t! Cruelty, John!

  • http://www.kairoscreativevision.com Jake-ann Jones

    My stomach is hurting laughing at this. Must repost on fb. thx for the laugh.

  • Latoya

    I've got to side with Cat on this one. Sorry John

  • Tim

    did I just hear a "two sandwiches of whiskey" in there? brilliant.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Oh, Latoya. Must I again have to think there MUST be some sort of cultural disconnect going on here? Perhaps you recall:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/johnshore/2009/01/30/why-do-people-go-

  • Richard Lubbers

    "Something that flies!?!?" What a hoot!

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Rich: Yeah, that just KILLS me. I really don’t understand why I think the whole thing is as funny as I do. I listened to it again this morning, and my wife came into the kitchen to find me leaning against the kitchen counter for support, gasping and crying. I almost physically can’t take listening to that thing. I have no idea why. My whole LIFE is humor, and it always has been. I don’t think I’ve found five things in my whole life that I thought were that funny. It’s ridiculous. It just … transports me. It’s insane.

  • Latoya

    No, you have it all wrong. I listened to it…but i didnt hear ALL of it (I was at work so i had it on a moderate volume). I actually heard a good amount of it tho. But i promise i will listen to the whole thing :D

  • Latoya

    So I listened to all of it. It was funny, but really not that funny. I chuckled once or twice and smiled a couple times. :)

  • Amanda

    My favorite part was right before the 4 minute mark when he all of a sudden speeds up hahaha

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/johnshore/ John Shore

      YES! Yes. yes, yes, yes, that’s the moment. Or certainly one of them. A KEY one. Also I like when he seems to resolve everything to, once, “a duck,” and, at another time, “a bush.”

  • Dave Bowling

    He was a master at acting like the sloppy drunk and allowing people to laugh at him – but the laugh was all his since he never was drunk in any of his skits or acts. He was great at his schtik (not sure I spelled that correctly.)

  • Becky backert

    Foster was a Louisville, Kentucky native and his nephew, Randy Brooks, wrote ‘Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer’. I knew/ know them both and they were a scream!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Liz-Peryam/100000746253028 Liz Peryam via Facebook

    I’m not fond of drunks. They are amusing only to themselves.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JohnShoreFans John Shore via Facebook

    Okay, yeah, but this is a world-renowned ACTOR, see….

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Liz-Peryam/100000746253028 Liz Peryam via Facebook

    Maybe I just don’t think it’s funny. Drunks are pathetic. But thanks anyway.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JohnShoreFans John Shore via Facebook

    I hear you, for sure. Anyone would.

  • Kelly

    I’m sure it helped that I had two glasses of wine myself but…Thank you that was wonderful! Now I can go to bed happy

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alexis-Twiford/841384198 Alexis Twiford via Facebook

    Foster Brooks was the funniest drunk impressionist EVER!!! I saw him live in Las Vegas many years ago!!! Brilliant comedian!! Have you ever seen the sketch with him & Dean Martin with him playing an airline pilot having a drink before his flight? Classic one from the days of the Dean Martin show…I’ll try to find it & share it also! Thanks for an early morning laugh!! :) :) L.O.L. TRULY!!! :) :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Billye-Liberatore/1483457356 Billye Liberatore via Facebook

    Foster Brooks was a Louisville native and hosted a charity golf tournament there yearly. As I recall, he didn’t even drink! What a funny man.


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