Doctor Leaves Major Pot Stash in My Oven!

There we were, inspecting the townhouse we were going to buy. It was me, my wife Cat, our (superb!) Realtor (Hi, Lynda Cook if you read this!), and Tony, our frightfully knowledgeable house inspector. Cat and Lynda were sitting at the dining room table belonging to the [major health care provider with a thriving practice] who was then renting the place, and I was tagging along behind Tony, wondering if I was even vaguely fooling him into thinking I knew anything about plumbing and/or electricity.

As he began inspecting our might-be kitchen, Tony pulled down the oven door—and voila: Weed-o-Rama.

“Whoa,” said Tony.

Looking over his shoulder, I said, “Okay, now this I know about.”

“Who lives here again?” he asked.

“What is that smell?” said Cat from the dining area.

“Oh my God,” said Lynda. “I know what that smell is. That’s pot.”

Now, I don’t want to too dramatically conjure the Major Stoner I used to be, but, quality-wise, this was about as “good” as (evil, evil, evil) weed gets. And as you can see from the photo that I totally took of it, it wasn’t exactly a minuscule amount of it. Back in the (awful) days when I used to smoke, that would have been enough weed to last me for … well, that’s really beside the point. The point is, it’s mucho dope.

“Isn’t the guy who lives here a [major health care provider with a thriving practice’” asked Tony.

“He is,” I said.

“That’s so awful,” said Lynda.

“Can you email me that picture you just took of it?” Tony asked me. “I give classes for home inspectors. I’d like to use it as an example of why it’s important to look inside the oven before turning it on.”

“Yeah, sure,” I said. “And, by the way, if you want this weed, take it. It’s not like Dr. Feelgood is going to come asking where it is.”

Tony laughed. “No, thanks. I have a life.”

Throughout the house we found other evidence—roaches and clips and so on—proving that the guy who lived there was a dedicated stoner. (And drinker. And world-class slob.) He didn’t even bother trying to hide it (even though he knew we were coming over to inspect the place).

Isn’t it awful, to know that somewhere out there are patients willingly putting the care of their health into the hands of a man who, just before he began working on them, at the very least had to make sure to use a hand soap strong enough to cover the stench of smoked pot that he knew was on his fingers?

**************************************************************************************************************************

Related posts o’ mine: Proof of How Easy It Is to Buy Marijuana in California; Proof People Get Stoned at Work, and My Visit to a Marijuana Anonymous Meeting.

Email: johnshore@sbcglobal.net

Follow: http://twitter.com/johnshore

Befriend: http://www.facebook.com/john.shore1

Be Fan: http://www.facebook.com/pages/John-Shore/89494795412?ref=s

About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter.

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com skerrib

    Maybe he intended it as a little gift…like "Hey, thanks for buying my house, here's a TOKEn of my appreciation."

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com skerrib

    (On my 'puter it looks like kitty poo that's been scooped from the litter box…which I guess tells you how much of a non-stoner I was. Or something.)

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Brian: Okay, see, the guy is clearly a stoner. He had an ashtray right next to his bed filled with roaches; clearly, he smoked either before he fell asleep or first thing in the morning. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt, and say he smoked at night. That's still smoking before work the next day; it's still smoking before providing health care to people. It's only then a question of how long before. And all I said was that there's no way it wasn't so far before that he didn't have to take care to get the smell of it off his fingers.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Skerrib: Hah! Good one! (Although, to be clear, he was renting the place; he didn't own it. And he REALLY didn't want the seller to sell it.) And yeah, it DOES look like … kitty droppings. I was going to upload bigger photo of it for people to click on and expand, but then I remembered how important it was to not too greatly distract Brian Shields from his work.

    Ahhhh…. Brian Shields. Where would all my great stoner jokes be without him?

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitenoisemetalpodcast Brian Shields

    Come on John, you have to admit the effects wear off after a good night's sleep. If he smokes before bed and it allows him to get a better night's rest, I would think his patients would benefit from this.

  • Jeannie

    I would laugh it off and not worry about it. It wears off after a good night's sleep anyway. Maybe he is also a medical marijuana provider. That might explain some of the quantity. Certainly takes nerve…or stupidity. Which is a why they call it dope, right?

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Jeannie: I'm not worried about it in the least; the guy's not MY doctor. But you'll have to trust me when I say that I KNOW this guy is not a medical marijuana provider.

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitenoisemetalpodcast Brian Shields

    The question isn't if he's a medical marijuana provider, it's if he's a medical marijuana patient. We don't tsk tsk when we find out our doctors are Big Pharma patients.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Okay, well, I would "tsk, tsk" if ever I found out that the guy who is, say, operating on eye, is addicted to a mind-altering drug, "pharma" or not. And I'm pretty sure that if this guy was a medical marijuana patient, he wouldn't be getting that much weed, in that form, that he would then have to put in his oven to dry properly.

    You're really reaching, Brian. This guy is profoundly unethical, and dangerously negligent. It's not debatable. The guy's a stoner doctor. You wouldn't let him operate on you, and you know it. (And, yes, he operates.)

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitenoisemetalpodcast Brian Shields

    Up until last week medical marijuana patients were limited to eight ounces at one one time. Last week the California Supreme Court ruled the eight ounce limit was unconstitutional and now there's no limit to the amount you can have. Patients are also allowed to grow their own which would require drying it.

    And John, you're totally wrong on the last point. I would much rather be operated on by a stoner doctor than by an alcoholic doctor… and guess which one is more common and more likely to result in malpractice? (not the pot smoker, the heavy drinker)

    You're the one reaching…

    • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

      Yeah, because when seeking out the services of a medical professional, those are your two choices: stoner and alcoholic. Defending a stoner doctor on the grounds that he's not an alcoholic doctor is like saying it's perfectly okay to drive a car with no brakes, because it's better than driving one with no steering wheel. They've both completely unacceptable.

      And this was a year and a half ago. So it's safe to say that wasn't "medical marijuana."

      I can't believe that you've become so intellectually and emotionally compromised by your own—shall we say, dedication to smoking weed—that you're actually claiming not to understand why it's a problem for a surgeon to be a stoner.

  • Claudia S

    Well now I know I should try to smell my doctor carefully, just to be sure. (Kidding!)

    Any doctor anywhere near me better 100% "Just say No", or I really will have to at least very seriously threaten to sue him/her.

    Hugs-not-drugs, okay? Although your doctor probably shouldn't be hugging you either. Watch out for that.

  • http://skerrib.blogspot.com skerrib

    I would totally hug my doc. Appropriately, of course.

  • Jeannie

    It reminds me of a doctor in the town I grew up. Everybody knew he was an alcoholic but nobody said much about it because he was a better surgeon drunk then some doctors were sober. (Kind of like TV's House?) Anyway…that was a long time ago.

    I seriously would not want a doc working on me that may have their concentration, memory or whatever impaired. Play a little on the weekend, oh, okay, I guess. But that doesn't sound like this guy is doing that.

    I would think he would be opening himself up to a HUGE malpractice lawsuit to say the least.

  • http://ricbooth.wordpress.com ric booth

    Confessional…I had to google roach clip. I'm actually a recovering boy scout.

    So it like stains and sticks to your fingers? yucheth. I might have to click the dislike button after all.

  • http://www.johnshore.wordpress.com John Shore

    Hmmmmm…..now, that's funny. Because I don't RECALL the phrase "roach clip" appearing anywhere within the post OR within these comments. So how'd you come to look up "roach clip"? HMMMMMM????

    Stoner.

  • http://ricbooth.wordpress.com ric booth

    So what's the difference between "a roach clip" and "a roach" and "a clip"?

    My ahh, actual google phrase: "roaches clips pot" … the resulting web site put it all together for me. I do my research. I'm hip (sounding) virtual space.

  • http://ricbooth.wordpress.com ric booth

    Ah… never mine… got it. roach. right. I should of slowed down .. you had me back peddling tho…

  • http://www.myspace.com/whitenoisemetalpodcast Brian Shields

    What evidence do you have that he smoked it before providing health care to people and not after he got home from a stressful day of saving lives?

  • http://living3dfaith.blogspot.com/ Tim

    @Brian—

    Whether the doc was growing his own (and drying it) for medicinal prescription (which I doubt) the fact that he forgot and left it in the oven (even if he put it there under the influence), forgetting it AGAIN in the morning only proves to me that his short-term memory is sketchy.

    I speak from my own experiences as a High Times subscribing chronic user for two and a half decades.


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X