The Restoration of John Shore

As you may already know, charismatic Christian (and apparent long-time tax evader) Stephen Baldwin has put up (or at least presumably sanctioned) a website called The Restoration of Stephen Baldwin.

I have put up one called The Restoration of John Shore.

You decide which is more credible. (You can vote either at “The Restoration of John Shore,” or below.)

[polldaddy poll=3118064]

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  • Mark Lattimore

    Check’s in the mail, John. Doing my part to restore you. I do have a word of advice. You need to get the endorsement of people of whom no one has ever heard and then wonder aloud how anyone not living on an isolated junk on Lake Whosiwhatsit, subsisting on spam and river water, could never have heard of these oh so famous cheerleaders.

  • Diana

    That was priceless!

  • gooseberrybush

    This reminds me of Oral Roberts needing money so God wouldn't call him home, except for the fact that Stephen Baldwin didn't set this up himself. But there do seem to be better causes for Christians to donate their money than Stephen Baldwin.

  • Stephen Baldwin did set this up himself. One of the people on the UTube videos "endorsing" it is the president of Stephen Baldwin Ministries.

    Oh–and SB hasn't paid his taxes since 1999. Nice.

  • Joel

    egos egos… appearances

    I'm from Tulsa, the name it and claim it mecca of christiandome… I can see the "City Of Faith" from my house, This is where TV preachers have set up shop to peddle their prosperity doctrine and have large ministry's and egos, homes that are redecorated every two years, luxury cars, and 2,000 sq ft closets …

    Granted- The Word does talk about prosperity, but when it becomes a tenet of spirituality it makes for lopsided mindsets that are given to follow the current charismatic celebrity ministry that sweeps down via satellite without actually doing ministry, more so just talking about it.

    Let's get a bit more humble people and just love and worship the Lord, our provision came at a high price but it is free to discuss, even if it's just to the humble unknown ones among us.

    {hey did you hear the one about the praying hands that use to stand in front of the failed City of Faith Hospital?… When they moved them to the campus of Oral Roberts University, they couldn't quite get them close enough, they just weren't touching. So one of the contractors had the idea to use a crain to hang above this colossal structure , he pulled out a $100. bill and put it between the two hands… SLAM the two hands divinely came together and continue to be just as tightly joined today.}

  • Tammy

    Switch to Frangipani oil and we'll talk.

  • Done.

    Pay me.

  • Yeah, right? And, I mean, here's his website:

    You can just FEEL how much he's suffering.

  • My pastor has this thing he likes to say.

    (Well, actually, he has several … being a pastor, talking is kind of his thing. In this case, though, I’m referring to one specific thing that he likes to say.)

    If people don’t like you because you’re a jerk, that isn’t persecuting you in the name of Jesus. That’s just that people don’t like you because you’re a jerk.

    If he hasn’t been paying his taxes, then his financial problems really have nothing to do with people mocking God. It has more to do with the fact that … well, … he hasn’t been paying his taxes.

    Why doesn’t he hit up his brothers for a loan? I can think of people who really need my help … and he’s not one of them.

  • Hilarious Joel. I like the praying hands and our daughter is doing grad school there, but this is very funny.

    PS I hope no one makes snap judgments about me based on that information.

  • We won't. Nazi.

  • BLUE STEEL!!! I TOTALLY THOUGHT THE EXACT SAME THING!! I soooooo wanted to take a picture of myself doing that face; but, alas, was already aware that every second I spent putting up that page would be one more second God would have to prove to me how utterly I wasted so much of my life. BUT IS THAT THE ZOOLANDERIEST FACE EVER??? How funny that you said that. It's so impossibly true.

  • Jill

    Well, now I can't see it. The site won't come up. Evidently you are so famous that your advertising the Restoration of Stephen Balding. ooops. has crashed the site.

    Great minds think alike. Take the picture. Especially if it's only one more second of retribution. Totally worth it. Especially for me.

  • Jill

    Dear John,

    My first real Dear John letter! Though after much thought, I eventually claimed I was sane (nobody there who knows me), I was awfully tempted to vote for poor, poor, Mr. Baldwin. You see, you have skills, but Stephen Baldwin only acts, and he’s really bad at that. In fact, on visiting the webpage, I can see that he is desperately trying to pose with Zoolander’s patented ‘look’, Blue Steel, and failing miserably. But he’ll probably still be sued if the male models can figure out how.

    You have, at one point in your life, held down a real job. I’m sure Stephen has soft hands. So, sorry, I’m keeping my money. But if I were feeling more generous, as a Christian, I’d be compelled to give it to Baldwin. He’s needier.

  • Thanks. That's a relief!

  • dave

    Unable to locate link on webpage to donate to 'restorejohnshore', good luck getting money for plywood and cat food.

  • I do have a donate button on THIS blog–up there near the top, in the right-hand column–if you’re so inclined. (And actually I’m really glad you brought it up, because somehow that button fell OFF my page, which I didn’t even notice until now. Now I owe YOU. Except … let’s not look at it that way.) Thanks for the funny comment.

  • Re: ‘restorejohnshore’

    The ‘comments’ at the right had me laughing.

    Out loud.


    I can’t remember the last time I did that…



    I’m a Christian and I donated $25 to Baldwin,I done it from the heart and he’ll have to answer to GOD for my money,I did what I thought was right.I have watched him on Hagee and I beleive he’s a christian let him answer.

  • Ummmm … Hagee?

    Oh, never mind …


    Ummmm….yes,John Hagee you have a problem with it?

  • The guy denies outright that Jesus is the Messiah.

    Not a source I consider credible for spiritual advice.