Yesterday I attended the monthly meeting of the San Diego Interfaith Ministerial Association—or SDIMA for short, which is hard to say without confusing your front teeth. The SDIMA meeting is my big outing of the month. I walk in, they all yell, “Gay! He’s gay! You’re gay!” And then I go home.
Get it? Cuz it’s an outing?!
That’s right: this blog is still free of charge. And I think we can all agree it’s worth it.
There’s certainly no denying that I am prodigiously artistic. I think those of you who’ve seen my awesome Muhammad Ali painting would agree: I’m pretty much color blind. And I think that helps. It’s tough to appreciate art when all those obnoxious colors are duking it out for your attention. Being color blind means I’m free to concentrate on substance, not, as you have to, form. So I’m better than you. Except at traffic lights. Then you’re better than me. So it all evens out.
Speaking of being spiritually color blind, at the SDIMA meeting I’m surrounded by people of “various faith traditions,” as we interfaith moguls like to put it. As a representative of the Christian faith, at these “meetings of tolerance” I take very seriously my moral imperative to at least try not to laugh at all the losers who aren’t smart enough to be Christian.
In our group we have no atheists. We have a Muslim, a Mormon, a Hindu, two Buddhists, three New Agers (or, as I call them, Manny, Moe and Aquarius, which always cracks just me up), a Baha’i lady (hint: waving and saying “Baha’i!” instead of “Good-bye!” apparently gets less funny each time you do it), a Jewish man so old I believe he learned to swim in the Flood, and a Catholic man with a voice so low God must borrow it when He wants to make a point.
At the SDIMA meetings we sit around and talk. I’m never quite sure what it is we’re talking about, but it usually seems to involve a flyer describing some upcoming event that I can never quite imagine. I don’t know. I hardly ever get a flyer, is the thing; they always seem to run out right when I’m supposed to get one. So I always end up having to guess where the SDIMA events are being held. And I know I was at the right location for last month’s event. I totally saw our Baha’i lady folding up her table and running away. At the meeting yesterday she denied it, though.
Those Baha’iites. They’re a crafty bunch.
Well, I’m off to take a nap now.
Baha’i for now!
(Okay, just to be clear: I’m actually a true fan of the Baha’i way. And I really do believe in the interfaith movement. And I’m not color blind. And “Baha’i! See ya’ next time!” is funny.)