Dear Mr. Shore:
It was with considerable bemusement that I read your blog post of April 14, About Your SCROTUS, POTUS, which was forwarded to me by one of my aides, with whom I’ll later today be discussing career opportunities in the White House mail room.
I understand, Mr. Shore, that you are a man in your early fifties. When I first read your post, I imagined that you were quite a bit younger — college-age, perhaps, or high school. But since then I’ve discovered that you’re actually a grown man.
As I trust you are aware, the correct acronym for the Supreme Court of the United States is SCOTUS, not SCROTUS. But SCROTUS is funnier, isn’t it? Because it sounds so much like the word “scrotum.” Back in elementary school, my pals and I never tired of laughing at such humor. We thought all kinds of humor about body parts and body functions was funny.Ah, those were the days. We were just boys then, with barely a care in the world. The future was wide open before us, inviting us to make of it whatever we could.
Did you ever look up the word “fart” in a dictionary, Mr. Shore? That would probably be a lot of fun for you. If you have one handy, I’d suggest using the superb American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language. I keep a copy of it right here on my desk. I was just using it, in fact, to help me draft an important speech I’ll soon be delivering on the state of our Armed Services as they continue fighting and dying in the war against oppression and tyranny that continues in Iraq and Afghanistan.
SCOTUS. SCROTUS. They sure do sound alike! It must make you awfully proud to have brought such levity to your blog readers, of which I’m sure you have dozens.
Now I trust you didn’t let all that fun you have get in the way of filing your tax return on time, did you? Ha, ha, ha. I’m sure you didn’t. I’ve requested the IRS to flag your return and forward me a copy. I’m looking forward to personally reviewing it.
Best to you, Mr. Shore. Keep up the good work! And best of luck to you in your career.