Announcing the “Guess the Fate of the Earth and Humans” Contest Winners!

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How to choose the winning entry in my Guess the Fate of the Earth and the Human Race! Win a Free Book! contest?

I can’t.

Any one of at least fifteen entries could easily be deemed best.

So, basically, I’m choosing these at random:

The #1 spot goes to Brian Shields, whose two entries are here and here.

The #2 spot goes to Larry Long, whose very funny answer is here.

I was pretty shocked (and not a little gratified) by the quality of answers I got in. You guys really wrote stuff. A lot of it was extremely funny (radioactive zombies!); a lot of it was intelligently reasoned; a great deal of it was sobering. (I’m especially fond of the optimistic answer offered by one “John” here.) Almost all of it was extremely well-written. I’ve long said that the comment threads left on my blog are as smart, funny, and thoughtful as any such material anywhere in the blogosphere, and here (again) you guys definitely proved me right. (And even though I sure don’t mean this to sound as … proprietary as I know it might, I really like the way you guys all support one another; reading your exchanges about your different answers was as rewarding as reading the answers themselves.)

As I say, I could have easily picked as “best” any one of fifteen or so other entries.

Anyway, thanks again for … well, rewarding me for blogging, basically. You guys really make this worth my while.

Brian and Larry, you’ll be hearing from me!

(P.S. You know, I just thought of something. If you entered the contest, and really did want a copy of my book “Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang,” I’ll send you a autographed, inscribed copy for five bucks. See the “Donate/Purchase” button on the right for payment instructions. Cool. Thanks.)

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • congrats. I guess my mutant shark/gator saga will have to wait another day to find fame…well that is if I decide to actually flesh out that ridiculous notion of a story.

    I need to dig out my debit card and purchase a book now.

  • Don Whitt

    Thank goodness. If I had won, I'd have to reject this blog. I would never want the accolades of a group that would have me as a participant (roughly paraphrasing my favorite philosopher, Groucho).

  • Wow, after I whined so much about the one sentence story contest, I thought I would never win a Shore-test but I win, I win, I win.

    This is on top of winning the world’s most modest man contest many times in a row 😉

  • denver

    Congrats on both the story contest and the modest man contest. 😉

  • Appalachiana

    Yippee for Larry (I had a feelin' about that interspecies spaceship story) and hurray for Brian. Oh, and last but not least, a big thanks for acknowledging John's walk-on-the-bright-side view of The End.

    I liked Larry's story best for many reasons. It just seems logical that a fellow who's metamorphosing into a giant pooka could write a story like that. I sure wish I could be a pooka. I'd be content being a tarball-eating dog too.

    Even though I'll have to buy a copy, I intend to prop my bare feet on a porch rail one summer afternoon soon with Penguins, Pain and the Whole Shebang. There I'll remain until it's too dark to read more and the fireflies come out.

  • WOO HOO!!! Thanks so much! I am so excited about this! I loved just about all of the entries too, I'm very happy to be picked!

    Thanks Again!

  • Now, what shall I send the eminent Mr. Shields? He already owns and has read "Penguins."

    Brian? Shall I pick another choice book from my library? I'm sure I could find a volume or two I'd be proud to send you in lieu of "Penguins."

  • I did like your mutant shrk/gator saga!

  • I emailed you to ask for your address. Book a' comin soon! Unless I don't hear back from you. Then … well, then I'll worry about you. Then I'll have to pay someone to track you down. Really, the whole thing will just get ugly. So write me back.

  • Nice response. Thanks. ("Penguins" is crazy short; it's only 20,000 words long. You'll done reading it before the fireflies have even busted out their matches.)

  • You had the SCARIEST entry, Don. You can be proud of that.

  • Thanks. I actually had fun writing it and I am going to work on it some. I think it may make a halfway decent short story, considering I wrote the original entry in about ten minutes.

  • denver

    John has a network of spies! 😉

  • Shadsie

    Aw, I'm too late for this. I just dropped by from Huffpost. Just a random idiot from there, I am.

    Let me try, anyway, just because I like to write random stories.

    In the future, the secrets of Time will be unraveled. Humans will be able to time travel without worrying about being crushed by a quantum singularity. We will also develop a system of translation for all languages, much like Douglas Addams' Bablefish. Time Tourism will become big business and will be as accessible as the Internet is today. Time travlers, of course, will be subject to a mandatory cloaking system that makes them undetectable and essentially "nonexistant" in any era outside of their own. We are currently being watched and studied by time travlers from the future. They like to refer to the early 21st century as "The Stupid Ages."

    Unfortuantely, most time travelers become trapped in their "outside of time" space. The few that lose their cloaking devices are subject to the same problems faced by illegal immigrants and escaped mental paitents. Some of them are found as dead John Does. Those are just the risks you take when you mess with Time.

    Those future people left behind who never did time tourism are so few that future society has reverted to a mostly agrarian and medevial-like existance.