Thanks to You

Also not coy

Sure, I could be coy. But why be a garishly colored goldfish with a glandular disorder? Fie on that. Like the detergent, I, too, shall be bold. (Wait. Do they still make Bold detergent? I feel like I don’t see that in the stores anymore. If Bold detergent has, in fact, gone the way of  … well, let’s see … Vanilla Coke, Fizzies, and Pineapple Fanta [um ... this might explain my teeth; and now I'm stuck thinking of Fanta as Santa's tubby brother: so today's ruined], it’s for sure because of Bold’s TV commercials, such as the 80′s one below.

Yikes. While, like most people, I enjoy seeing the elderly being sensually stimulated by their sweaters, in this particular case I found it disturbing, because of how much this woman looks like June Cleaver. I don’t want to have to think of June Cleaver … you know … deciding she really enjoys static cling. Because then I have to think of her husband Ward responding to that. And then I have to think of the two of them lying in bed afterward, conjuring up horrendous nicknames for their boys. So I’d rather just not go there at all. (Sad note: last month Barbara Billingsley died. She was ninety-four. Which would make The Beav around seventy. Which would make me wonder what the #$@%!! happened to my life. But whatever.)

Today is the day before Thanksgiving. That (duh) puts me in mind of those things for which I’m genuinely thankful. And foremost amongst those things (directly after my wife, actually) is (and I’m not sure how to say this without it sounding pretentious) my readers.

Is my readers? That doesn’t look right.

Are my readers? That seems right—but looks wrong.

Much like our Bold commercial.

Anyway, I would absolutely be lost without my readers. You guys leave the great comments; you send me the great emails; you join my Facebook page so that publishers and their ilk are basically forced to take me seriously; you share my posts and blog with others; you link to me from your blogs and websites; you Photoshop pictures of me; you make bumper stickers and drawings about me and my work; you encourage me to make johnshore.com tee-shirts; you buy my books. In every possible way, you let me know that you’re out there, listening, thinking, and caring.

It really is something for which I am sincerely and every day thankful. As I say, I simply don’t know where I’d be without you guys.

Well, actually, I do. And (trust me) it wouldn’t be pretty.

Thank you. A blessed, wonderful Thanksgiving to each and every one of you.

About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter.

  • Jennie

    Thank you, John, for giving us good reading and making us think, laugh, cry (yes, I teared up over one of your posts about your wife)…Happy Thanksgiving to you and Cat.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, Jennie, very much. Best to you and Bob this blessed season.

  • Mary and Charles

    Lord, I thank you for John, who makes my life better every single day. who pushes the boundaries of love each and every day. So, Lord, make those publishers sit up and take notice! Let them know that because John Shore preaches exactly what you preached (love God and love your neighbor), there is a huge audience out there of people like me who need and want to hear what he has today. Bless John and his lovely, patient wife. Help John spur a New Reformation. In Jesus’ name I feel confident in asking this. Amen!

    • Mary & Charles

      today => to say

      • Anonymous

        Actually, Mary (and/or Charles), it’s because of people like you that I don’t need a traditional publisher. I want one if I WANT one–but, again, because of you and those like you, I’ll pretty much for sure being going it alone. Yay!

  • http://www.barnmaven.com Barnmaven

    I love you, man.

    But you’re not getting my Bud Light.

  • http://www.barnmaven.com Barnmaven

    I love you, man.

    But you’re not getting my Bud Light.

    • Anonymous

      I love you too. Now fork over that beer.

  • http://luwandi.wordpress.com Beth Luwandi

    You are , John, if nothing else, hysterically funny today. And sweet. The really cool thing is that all of us are thankful for you. You work wonders with the word… and with the Word. And with us. Love that. Love you. Thank you very much. Best blessings to you and Cat. :)

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, Beth. Same to you.

  • Anonymous

    Pineapple Fanta. Still on the shelf at Major Market in Escondido. Guilty Pleasure#82: Circa 1980—Getting high with my older brother, muting the sound on the TV, and providing X-Rated dialog for Ward and June during reruns of Leave It To Beaver. Nothing was sacred. We also did that with Andy, Opie, Aint Bea, Goober, The Brady Bunch…Lord we were sickos. Sheesh, who am I kidding…we’re STILL sickos!

    • Anonymous

      Best. Game. Ever.

  • DrGrammar

    And foremost amongst those things (directly after my wife, actually) is (and I’m not sure how to say this without it sounding pretentious) my readers.

    Subject of your sentence is “foremost,” an odd thing but a singular thing. It requires “is” for its verb, which you naturally did. Once you thought about it, you wanted to make an error where none existed (“are” is plural and would not match your singular subject).

    • Anonymous

      Foremost thing is my readers. Thank God I can be a small part of a thing. Keeps me humble and I can use that.

  • http://kansasbob.com Kansas Bob

    I am thankful for you John. I hope that your Thanksgiving is filled with the kind of joys that make wonderful memories.

    • Anonymous

      Thank you for helping make sure that happens. Good to hear from you, Bob.

  • Lolly

    Hi John. I came across your website a couple of days ago…I’m not feeling great at the moment…guy trouble., say no more. Your article about ‘cursing’ made me laugh out loud. Much appreciated.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, Lolly. Sorry to hear about your guy trouble. That bites turkey bone.

  • CatPro

    Thanks John. Happy Thanksgiving to you and Cat. You make the days a little brighter.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks! (And if I ever need anyone to take care of Cat, I sure know who to call.)

  • http://gooseberrybush.wordpress.com Gooseberrybush

    Happy Thanksgiving

    • Anonymous

      And to you, Goose.

  • Susan G.

    Love you too!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, Susan G. (And thanks for all your great comments.)

  • Textjunkie

    ditto ditto ditto and right back atcha. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and thanks for giving me yet anudda thing to be thankful for!!

    • Anonymous

      What a sweet thing to say. Thank you.

  • Melischamberlin

    Ok, that was a great post. Thank you, and I am very thankful that I came across your blog. You are twisted and sick, and I like that in a person. Happy Thanksgiving from Central Wisconsin, where it is snowing right now.

    • Anonymous

      I’ll bet it is snowing there! It must be so beautiful.

  • Dianne

    John, you make crazy seem so functional. It’s a gift. And for those of us who are also crazy, you help us feel like just maybe we are OK, too. So grateful for you!

    • Anonymous

      And I for you, Dianne. Thank you.

  • LRichard Lubbersubbersicon

    Thank you for your Bold outlook on life, your sense of humor, and your heart, without which everything would be only ranting for the sake of noise. I’m very happy I found you three years ago in a hotel room (whoa! That sounds somehow not right) trying to decide if I should go for a walk in a sleet storm or play with links on the Christianity.com website.

    Your readers are thankful for you, John. Happy Thanksgiving to you and Kat.

    • Anonymous

      Gosh, has it been that long? Well, thank you, Richard, for your readership over these years. I always appreciate your generous, thoughtful, invariably good-natured comments. Best to you and Tammy today.

  • Susan

    John, you’ve made my life better, and for that I am truly grateful.

    I hope you and Cat have a great Thanksgiving.

    Now I am off to send a link from one of your posts to another friend in need of your wise words.

    Hugs, Susan in NY

    • Anonymous

      What a beautiful sentiment. Thank you, Susan. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

  • Kim

    Thank you John for being you. I no longer think that the things that fly through my mind are weird. And I thank you for that! Seriously though – Happy Thanksgiving a wee bit late. Your posts mean a lot to me. Thanks again.

  • http://www.bing.com/ Becky

    Didn’t know the forum rules allowed such blriilnat posts.


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