MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I hope you guys are all having the best Christmases you could ever ask for.

Remember: it’s all about the presents. If your loved ones didn’t give you exactly what you wanted—which is to say, presents so spectacularly awesome that they leave you fulfilled in every possible way for the rest of your life—don’t forget to be completely bitter toward them. Because, really, nothing says Christmas like, “You’ve let me down.” So, go on. Share the resentment.

Ha, ha, ha. Just kidding. That was a little yuletide humor. Which, like most Yuletide humor, failed. That’s because Christmas and humor go together like egg nog and V8 juice. Why? Because Christmas is a time for gratitude and love. And what kind of psycho laughs while they’re feeling gratitude?

Whoa. I was going to spend a long time writing this! NONE of this would have stayed, I think. But my wife Cat’s awake early this morning!! I hear her coming down the stairs! So I gotta go! We’ll have a wonderful day; I hope you do, too. Thanks for all you do to make my blogging life so fulfilling. And that’s no joke. Merry Christmas.