How to go to work as The Twelve Days of Christmas

Wondering how you can go to work every day every day for twelve days in a row dressed like a different character from The Twelve Days of Christmas? Great! Here’s how.

Here are some simple costume ideas to help you make this classic Christmas carol come alive for you, your co-workers, and all of the people sure to stare at you on the street.

Partridge in pear tree: Cut your hair in the fun unishag style that David Cassidy so rocked on the old Partridge Family TV show.

Fill your pockets with pears and tree bramble. Done. (While in the company of your less astute co-workers, you may want to sing the classic Partridge Family hit, “I Think I Love You!” to make sure they’re totally clear on what you’re doing.)

Turtle dove: Buy about a dozen little pet store turtles. Put a dollop of Super Glue on the shell of each one. Attach turtles to clothes. Put on a long-sleeve shirt; cover your arms with Elmer’s glue; jam both arms into a down pillow you’ve cut open. Go.

French hen: Don a beret. Say nothing but “wee-wee” (sp?) for the entire day. Also put eggs in all your pockets. You’re a french hen!

Calling birds: Attach feathers to clothes (see Turtle Dove). Spend day phoning co-workers.

Golden ring: Cover every inch of your body and clothing with gold spray paint. Put your cell phone in your pocket. Program your desk or home phone to continuously call your cell phone. Do not answer your cell phone when it rings. You’re golden; you’re ringing. Done.

Goose a-laying: Attach feathers to clothes. Lie on floor.

Swan a-swimming: Attach feathers to clothes. Fill up employee break-room sink with water. While making loud honking noises, splash everyone who walks by. Close enough.

Maid a-milking: Skip this one. No need to act so unprofessionally that you actually get fired. I mean, c’mon. It’s a song.

Lady dancing: Wig and fake breasts optional for guys. Flowing skirt not.

Lord a-leaping: Dress as much as possible like this guy:

prince0001.jpg

Jump a lot.

Piper piping: Bring a bunch of PVC pipe to work. Pretend to be installing it around everyone’s desk and cubicle.

Drummer drumming: Bring drumsticks to work. Drum on everything.

And that’s it! Easy as 1-2-3-4-5-6 … well, you get the idea.

Write me and let me know how it goes! Have fun! Merry Christmas! And remember: bloggers are not liable in wrongful termination lawsuits!

About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. Don't forget to sign up for his mucho-awesome newsletter.

  • Bobbi

    I love it John although the Lord a Leaping photo isn’t showing. Also I think you should include a disclaimer that says “No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog” otherwise you are liable to have the animal rights people assault you for the turtle dove day.

    Thanks for making me smile this morning! I think I’ll give this a try… but I’ll wait until July just so I don’t clash with everyone else that will be participating in this awesome idea.

    • Bobbi

      The Lord a leaping just showed up. Did you pose for it John?

    • Lymis

      It shows in my browser, but he isn’t leaping. Must have caught him on his break.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kimberly-J-Edwards/1248096635 Kimberly J Edwards via Facebook

    ok john… back away from the eggnog… ;-)

  • pdq

    EVEN BETTER: show up the actual 12 days – from Christmas day on! When everyone else is tired unto death of Christmas (having started with putting up a tree on Thanksgiving), YOU will be fresh and happy all the way to Epiphany (with the added bonus of trying to explain what Epiphany is and why the twelve days AFTER Christmas are the right time for gifting and celebrating).

    • Allie

      I have enough trouble in my neighborhood trying to explain why I don’t take my tree down until Epiphany!

  • Tammy Lubbers via Facebook

    Thank you John! I’m away from work for Christmas, but I have conscripted help!

  • Lymis

    I will be utterly and without reservation in awe of anyone who manages to stay employed through about day 5.

    Someone might be able to extend it a tiny bit by passing out chocolate covered nut candies (turtles) and premium ice cream bars (Dove) on day 2, but given that everyone will be increasingly aware of their waistlines by then, it might backfire.

    It does all reinforce just how avian-centric the song is, though. That’s a LOT of birds.

  • Kristen Wack via Facebook

    Sorry, I was an Osmond groupie!!

  • Leslie Marbach via Facebook

    ♪♫♪♫ I think I love you so what am I so afraid of? ♪♫♪♫

  • Leslie Marbach via Facebook

    Thanks, John, for putting that tune in my head.

  • http://www.facebook.com/JohnShoreFans John Shore via Facebook

    Don’t lie. You know it was always there.

  • https://elizabeth-fullerton.squarespace.com/resume Elizabeth

    Seriously. You have the weirdest sense of humor. That is a compliment.

  • Jill

    My coworkers need no more proof of my insanity, thanks.


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