Yoga pants in public

Walking to our car after our yoga class last night my wife and I were chatting about her wearing her yoga pants in public.

Once in our car, after a long moment of silence, she said, “So yoga pants make a woman look either too sexy, or too gross.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s quite it,” I said.

“Yes, it is. Women can’t wear the most comfortable pants ever, because doing so will cause all the men who see them to either masturbate or barf.”

I cracked up so hard I couldn’t even start the car.

“Yeah,” she said. “I’ll let you know when that’s funny.”

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About John Shore

John Shore (who, fwiw, is straight) is the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question, and three other great books. He is founder of Unfundamentalist Christians (on Facebook here), and executive editor of the Unfundamentalist Christians group blog.  (In total John's two blogs receive some 250,000 views per month.) John is also co-founder of The NALT Christians Project, which was written about by TIME,  The Washington Post, and others. His website is JohnShore.com. John is a pastor ordained by The Progressive Christian Alliance. You're invited to like John's Facebook page. And don't forget to sign up for his mucho awesome monthly newsletter.

  • wjtaylor

    Hahahahahahhahahhahahahaha!

  • herewegokids

    hahahahahahahaha

  • http://allegro63.wordpress.com/ allegro63

    Reading this while wearing….yoga pants.

  • http://jw-thoughts.blogspot.com/ John

    yeah, they bring out the best and worst in women but I side on the best in women. Even if a woman’s legs are chunky, yoga pants will tighten it up. Thus endangering the minds of men everywhere. What a Utopia!

    • Jill

      So let me know when it’s my turn to critique your personhood and physique as I see fit. Cuz I’m a woman so I’m waiting for the permission.

      (Oh I gotta stop commenting on stuff like this.)

      • http://jw-thoughts.blogspot.com/ John

        Yeah, you are taking this too seriously.

        • http://johnshore.com/ John Shore

          John: You’re not taking your offensiveness seriously enough.

        • Hallie Mac

          Or maybe your input on women wearing yoga pants, whether positive or negative, doesn’t matter.

      • http://allegro63.wordpress.com/ allegro63

        Jill. I have at least five pair of yoga pants with various strength in the spandex, plus three pair of brightly colored pajama bottoms, that I have ventured outside to check the mail in, or drag the trash can to the curb. But them I am at an age that I don’t give a shit what others think about how I look. I earned every damned pound, every ripple of cellulite, and the tummy pooch took years to grow to its current perfection. I say we don our comfy pants and go get coffee.

        If some guy wants to tell me I look sexy, I will delight in asking him if he wants to see pictures of my grandkids…cause I will. If he wants to leer, then I can take comfort that i own every bit of me,and my ass is certainly not me. Plus I only share what lies underneath with the one man who appeals to my intellect, my sense of humor, my personal well being, and lastly, my vanity.

        • Snooterpoot

          I was very thin until I reached age 40, then Mother Nature shut off my metabolism. I wouldn’t want to be that thin again. I like my curves, even if some of them are in the wrong places.

    • Guest

      Why do you even bother with educational posts such as these, one wonders?

  • Katie Rucker

    It boils down to the idea that women exist to please men. If you don’t look “attractive” in those yoga pants then you’re obviously doing it wrong and you need to fix it in order to look attractive to the men who have to look at you. Well kick sexism in the butt and just wear whatever makes you happy, because you are not an object to please men (and you’re married so really the only man you have to impress is John). You are your own person. :)

    • http://allegro63.wordpress.com/ allegro63

      Exactly! I dress to please myself. period. Which means today, I am in loose fitting yoga pants, a long sleeved tee, a jacket, my husband’s hoodie jacket (cause I”m cold and its warm and oversized) his tennis shoes and a pair of holey socks. What’s under all that is grandma worthy/

    • jilliliz

      WORD. F*** the Patriarchy.

      (I say while sporting tight, comfy, amazing yoga pants)

  • Mary12

    I laughed and then immediately cringed. She’s so right!
    I try not to worry about the thoughts that might stanpede through someone else’s mind in response to what I’m wearing. But it is good to know that that smidge of spandex is there to cinch in my thighs, lest they be too bulky to suit someone’s particular fantasy. Whew!

  • ChefWanabi

    I’ve been looking for Yoga shorts for years now, since my “athletic” shorts are too baggy & annoying (even though I’ve had them taken in at the legs for “inversion modesty”), and $80 to $100 for a single pair of shorts is beyond outrageous. Any suggestions, folks?

    • bad_cook

      Bicycle shorts, maybe? Like the casual kind, not the super-expensive “proper” bicycle shorts with padding on the butt.

    • http://allegro63.wordpress.com/ allegro63

      I wouldn’t pay that much for sports wear if I was fabulously wealthy and had the body of a greek goddess, which I dont. Look at outlet malls that sell sportwear, or Target, Sports Authority, etc.

    • BrinKennedy

      I know your post is from 5 months ago, but in addition to allegro’s suggestions, Old Navy has some good activewear, too. One of my favorite pairs of yoga pants is from there :)

      • http://allegro63.wordpress.com/ allegro63

        My favorite pair is from there too. I’d wear them every day, but they are looking like I pull them out at least once a week. I need to replace them

        • BrinKennedy

          Mine are still in good shape, though faded. I’ve been thinking about redyeing them :)

    • Alexis Cruz

      Walmart literally sells yoga shorts, with drawstrings to adjust legs openings, that are all cotton and super soft for $5!


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