We enforce the Don’t Ask -Don’t Tell rule around this household.
But did I mention yet that Tim is ASB advisor at the high school or that this is Homecoming Week?
Tim walks into the bedroom in camo gear.
Tim: Do I look like a jungle terrorist?
Me: Mmm…no. Terrorists don’t wear camo Indiana Jones hats.
Tim: They don’t?
Me: No. They wear sweat bands or a head scarve.
Me: How much did you pay for that outfit?
Me: Are you kidding me? You could have gotten that for $10 at Goodwill.
Me: What’s tomorrow’s theme?
Tim: Rock Star Pop Star.
Me: What are you wearing?
Tim: I don’t know.
Me: Who are you going to be?
Tim: I have a tuxedo shirt. I could wear that.
Me: And go as who? Who are you?
Tim: I could be a classical guy.
Me: I thought you said it’s Rock Star day.
Tim: It is. I could be the classical Rock Star.
Me: Oh. Brother.
Me: You can be Elton John.
Tim: I don’t even like Elton John.
Me: Yes you do.
Tim: I do?
Tim: What does he sing?
Me: BbbbbBennie and the Jetzzzz.
Tim: What else does he sing?
Me: Candle in the Wind.
Tim: Making a whooshing noise.
Me: There’s no whooshing noise in that song.
Tim: There’s not?
Me: No, honey. Goodbye Norma Jean, remember? It’s about Marilyn Monroe.
Tim: You expect me to wear that?
Tim: That hat too?
Me: Hat and glasses. It only cost $6.
Tim: Where did you get that?
Me: St. Vincents.
Tim: It’s wet.
Me: I know. I washed it.
Tim: Puts on the outfit and come sliding into the family room in his stocking feet.
Tim: What shoes am I going to wear?
Me: I don’t know. I gave away all my platform shoes in the 1970s.
Tim: Tries to slip on a pair of my flats.
Me: YOU are NOT wearing my shoes.
Tim: Okay. They don’t fit anyway.
Me: You can’t wear that shirt.
Tim: Why not?
Me: You’re a Rock Star. Rock Stars wear tight black shirts.
Tim: Elton John wouldn’t. He’d wear a button down shirt.
Me: Yeah. Like you would know that.
Poe jumping up on Tim.
Me: You might want to be careful there. That Demon Dog has a history of biting.
Tim: Down Poe.
Tim: I should learn the lyrics to Candles in the Wind before tomorrow huh?
Me: Candle, hon. There was only one candle. Marilyn Monroe.
Tim: Oh. Yeah.
Me: Now you’re starting to sound like a Rock Star.