Times like today.
When we were first married — 32 years ago — we used to fight over who was right. We quit fighting over that when it became sadly obvious that neither of us were “more better” than the other.
So then we took to fighting over the kids and whose style of parenting was “more better” than the other. When our oldest got to be a teenager and we realized that we were both pitiful failures at this parenting gig, we quit fighting over that.
Then we took to fighting over money and who was “more better” at managing it. It’s easy to fight over money when you don’t have any, but as soon as I started working full-time we got separate accounts. We hardly ever fight over money any more. Mostly because we realize we it takes both paychecks these days to run a household. We give up.
I am only confessing to a recent round of bickering because I read this post by Jamie the Very Worst Missionary.
On a recent trip south a friend told me about a couple that got divorced after 49 years of marriage. Honestly, what is the point after all that? If you are going to get a divorce I advise doing it within the first year, then it’s almost like you were never really married to begin with. But after 49 years of wrangling through things, why? You don’t have another 49 years to commit to someone so there is no way you are going to establish that level of intimacy again. And that, at least for me, seems to be the point.
Life is hard, marriage is harder, but even if you live alone there are going to be times when you’ll be cranky with your own self.
The very worst person we all have to learn to get along with is ourselves.
What kind of concessions do you make to get along with yourself?