Worthwhile Reads: Positive Parenting

As a young mother who was raised on authoritarian parenting but now practices positive parenting, articles like these are like water to my soul.

Avoiding Conflict through Playfulness and Connection

With three little ones and two dogs, there is never a dull moment in our house…truth is at every junction there is a possibility of chaos and conflict. To my rescue I sometimes turn to playfulness and connection.

Over the years, I have found that taking just five minutes to play and to restore connection can prevent many battles and tantrums. To make everyday things more playful I sometimes create songs or tell stories, other times I use props and tools or play games.

Dealing with Misbehavior: One Valuable Word, Acceptance

No matter if a child is, loud, scaling the furniture, melting down at the store, frustrated, mad, banging doors, crying, pushing, shoving, biting, yelling, talking balk or acting out…ultimately what they really need more than being taught a lesson, more than being sent to time out, more than being lectured or losing a privilege is acceptance. From that moment on…when we accept THEM for who they are and what they are feeling and dealing with in the here and now, we can then move on to validate them and seek to understand.

About Libby Anne

Libby Anne grew up in a large evangelical homeschool family highly involved in the Christian Right. College turned her world upside down, and she is today an atheist, a feminist, and a progressive. She blogs about leaving religion, her experience with the Christian Patriarchy and Quiverfull movements, the detrimental effects of the "purity culture," the contradictions of conservative politics, and the importance of feminism.

  • bitwise

    I’m not a parent, and I don’t have any plans on becoming one. However, I just wanted to let you know how much I’ve appreciated all the information you’ve posted on positive parenting. I grew up with a narrow view of what ‘proper’ parenting is, but you’ve helped me to see a better way, a way that could help so many families and prevent so much resentment between parents and children. If, for whatever reason, I had a child someday, I would definitely raise hir in the positive parenting style. So, thanks.

  • machintelligence

    …when we accept THEM for who they are and what they are feeling and dealing with in the here and now, we can then move on to validate them and seek to understand.

    I beg to differ. There are some feelings and actions that are unacceptable in the here and now and in the future. The sooner the child learns this, the better it will be for all concerned. What works for one child may not work for another, children have vastly different personalities and are not blank slates, but the learning must take place.

  • Carol

    This is a technique I learned at work from an evil HR person (redundant, I know, HR people = evil) when my daughter was a baby, and it’s so easy to do and amazingly powerful. I applied it to my kids their whole lives.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Active_listening

    You don’ t have to do anything, fix anything, make anything better, offer up advice, all you have to do is listen and reflect back the speaker’s feelings, as in “it sounds like you’re feeling sad because…” It sounds so simple, but it really works.

    One time I read in a magazine, also when my daughter was really small and obviously never forgot it, was this “Why would I treat my friends and strangers better than I treat my children.” I try to treat my kids with respect, the same way I treat a friend or a stranger. How many times have we seen moms yell at their kids then turn around and politely smile at a stranger?


CLOSE | X

HIDE | X