Hm. I see. Yes. Well…

A reader writes cryptically:

As Brzezinski chose Wojtyla, Cheney chose Ratzinger, so Biden will chose the next pope. Vicar means in Latin, what Anti means in Greek.

Alrighty then.

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  • victor

    They may be on to something. I’m predicting a Funky Conclave either way.

    • Mike Harrison

      Hilarious. I wonder what the fixation is with Arinze amd O’Malley?

  • Martha

    Well, at least we know a Joe Biden pick will say the Rosary :-)

  • S. Murphy

    mmm-hm. So…that’s why O’Malley gave Ted Kennedy that big, scandalous, public funeral.

  • Dale (not Ahlquist)

    Can Joe Biden pick himself to be the next pope? Sure, he is currently vice president, but that job disappears in four years. As pope he would have job security for life. Plus, Italy has a nicer climate than Delaware.

  • Elizabeth Scalia

    They all come to you.

  • Michael

    The real story here is that the conclave is going to switch from a model whereby various world leaders choose the next pope to one where well-informed journalists in such strongholds of integrity and knowledge as the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times get together to compare their lists of “what the Catholic Church needs,” send it to Rome, and those silly old clueless cardinals bob their heads in agreement. “Well shucks! Why didn’t we think of that! Send up the white smoke, Your Eminence!”

  • The Jerk

    You gotta admit this guy’s argument is pretty airtight.

  • ivan_the_mad

    Their credentials as a philologist are clearly impeccable.

  • Stu

    The whole product-development routine of finding the right discriminating gene, testing it and ensuring that the levels of political resistance in the sorghum plant-animal are of such significance that the post-modern industrialization panoply must be fully considered. What this means is that initiating this process and creating a base from which other strata and initiatives based in heterodoxy will take root will require considerable influence for the emerging world order. Question remains, will the world supply of tungsten, bismuth and basil support it?

  • j. blum

    If you eat enough basil, you don’t need the bismuth.

    • Stu

      That’s exactly what THEY want you to think.

  • Cinlef

    In fairness if he had been less cryptic the shape-shifting lizards who monitor our communications might be able to discern his meaning

  • Margaret

    This is clearly a fake as it makes no reference to the all-important pine cone.

  • SouthCoast

    His reasoning is inarguable. Or vice versa.

    • “jerry”

      his inarguability is reasoned?

      • SouthCoast

        Or his unreason is arguable.

  • Blog Goliard

    On a tangential note (well, really, since so few of us are on the same plane of existence as the reader quoted, all our comments here are bound to be tangential), here’s something I’ve been wondering lately:

    If an American cardinal were elected pope, would he have to give up his U.S. citizenship? It’s clear enough that under our laws, an American citizen cannot owe political allegiance to any foreign prince or potentate…but I think it’s less clear whether he can *be* a foreign prince or potentate.

    • Matthew

      @Blog Goliard: the law changed several years ago. I have relatives in Canada who hold dual USA/Canadian citizenship.

    • Dale (not Ahlquist)

      Hmm…. I didn’t think this discussion would produce a serious topic, but I suppose stranger things have happened. :)

      According to the US State Department website, an American citizen who takes a policy level position in a foreign state could lose their US citizenship.

  • Joe

    I love arguments that can be disproved with a dictionary. I wonder if this guy even has a Merriam-Webster.

  • Jedinovice

    OK, my brain just exploded. But then, it was only running a MOS 6502 processor at 1.25MHz anyway and, thus, was unable to handle the sheer sophistication and density of the logic of the argument (not to mention the sheer buffer sizes caused by the recursion involved.)