When even the NRA acknowledges the existence…

of Insane Gun Culture and begs them to dial it back and stop acting like scary weirdos, I think we can all agree that Insane Gun Culture is a problem (except of course to those deep inside the Bubble of Insane Gun Culture).

Not to worry though, under intense pressure from armed and scary weirdos, the NRA then backed down and fell back in line, issuing the following statement:

“Did we say you were scary weirdos? No, no, no! We were speaking Old Church Slavonic. “Ska ree Veer dohs” means “Not-at-all-crazy patriots” in that tongue. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Lower your weapons. And more power to you brandishing assault rifles at paint stores and Chipotles as our Founding Fathers intended! You are the picture of sanity!”

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Mass Slaughter? Whooptidoo.

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