What, Then.

What, then.

When walks are not relieving,
More a long distance pace
Up and back.
When anti-anything meds do not work,
When rosaries, and prayer requests,
And offering-ups are not enough,
What then?
 
When the ache to feel
The love of Our Lord,
Embrace of Mary’s arms,
Lifted by the Holy Spirit,
Or wrapped
In my Guardian’s wings
Is left without sense,
What then?
 
When the scars of the heart
Are healed and still tight,
When the soul is bloated with love
And lacks release,
What then?
 
When fear silences the longing
For home with God,
Because the hearer hears falsely
Intents of suicide,
Not intensity of love,
What then?
 
When pain is deep,
And doesn’t matter.
When the heart skips and pounds
Beneath the bone,
No fear constricts the throat,
What then?
 
When God feels absent
In Adoration or at Mass
In the eyes of others,
Or in my rooms,
What then will suffice?
 
When words read or written,
Penned on pad and prodded
Then circled, danced with,
Moved past, visited
Again, and again are not enough,
What then?
 
When all that God gave,
Is giving, promised and fulfilled,
When every wall of every room
Carries an echoing call,
And it is not enough
What then?
 
When I sit as near to paradise
As God will allow,
When beauty confounds,
And Grace is exposed,
And I ache with a longing
That only angels and saints lack,
And all this is not enough.
What then but faith will do.
 
2104 Margaret Rose Realy, Obl. OSB
 
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