You Don’t Have To Choose Between Jesus & LGBT Rights

Today I present a statement I have agonized over, knowing it will be misinterpreted by many, particularly my friends in conservative Evangelical circles.  When I was first invited to join the advisory board for Evangelicals for Marriage Equality (EME), I said no.  I wasn't refusing because I didn't support their mission - I was refusing because of the ways I was concerned it would compromise my relationships with Evangelicals I love.  And frankly, I was tired of losing them. It became apparent t … [Read more...]

The Fan

I climbed Dunn's River waterfall in Ocho Rios this week.  I swam in Montego Bay and parasailed above the crystal blue green waters. I ate foods and tropical fruits I have never had before, or at least, very rarely, and never fresh: star fruit, papaya, sour sap, boiled plantains, passion fruit, jerk pork chops, petite custards, coffee with rum cream, and smoothies made of indescribable fruits.  Crazy coconut pina coladas and red stripe on tap from the bar, deep brown Jamaican rum mixed with s … [Read more...]

The Big Juicy One

I recently sat across the table at dinner-time from a little eight year old Chinese girl named Lauren. I was working my day-job for the children's home, preparing for one of our annual fundraisers.  Lauren’s parents adopted the now precocious, always smiling, 8 year old from China when she was a baby through our adoption services program.  Over dinner, they shared stories of the many hoops they jumped through in the adoption process to bring her home with them.Halfway through the meal, I saw … [Read more...]

Ignorance Is (Oppressive) Bliss

For most of my life, I couldn’t bring myself to be outraged about injustice and oppression because it took effort.  It meant I would have to stare into the face of brokenness and evil that I couldn’t solve.  The injustices in the world felt too big and I felt too small.  And somehow, after looking evil square in the eyes, I knew I would have to find a way to hold myself together enough, even in the sorrow of the recognizing the truth, and I would have to do something.  And frankly, I just didn’t … [Read more...]

When A Friend Jumps

Last year, one of my friends jumped off the top of a building.  It still doesn’t make sense.  We can call my friend Gary, I guess.  I met him one evening after he attended a seminar I was teaching.  Gary was gay and he told me that his partner would never darken the doors of the church because of just how plain shitty his experiences had been before.  I didn’t blame him.  Gary had started attending church again because he found community and kindness from Christians there.  I think he also found … [Read more...]

When Reconciliation Fails

"What are we to do when reconciliation fails?" I was 19, the daughter of recently separated parents, when I first asked that ugly question in 2003.  I asked it over and over again in the five years to follow before their divorce finalized.I asked the ugly question in 2009 when my best friend betrayed me and, when confronted, told me he “just didn’t have it in him to be the kind of friend I wanted him to be."  He was right.  He didn't.I asked the ugly question in 2010 when my boss called … [Read more...]

Four Steps Of Lament

In recent weeks, I've been sharing on lament: how I fought it for fear it would worsen my burnout and how I've been naming all the helplessness, inadequacies, and hopefulness I discovered when I began to lean into lament. In all of the weeping, praying, mourning, I have finally found my hope and vision restored.  I've come to a deep conviction that lament is an imperative practice for effective reconciliation work and a healthy reconciliation worker.  This should not be surprising, given that lam … [Read more...]