Seem scary? What’s the worst that can happen? Perhaps you lose your job, dissolve your marriage or distance yourself from all of your friends and find yourself alone in the world, destitute, in pain and dying of hunger.
I gest, but many of these lingering thoughts pass through our minds to some degree or another when we back away from speaking our full truth and instead of honoring our needs, we play it safe and settle for some form of mediocrity. Most of us in Western Culture have been raised to believe that we really can’t speak our entire truth because of the potential fallout that will prevail. One of the root causes for this myth goes back to the fact that we don’t learn how to effectively and responsibly communicate our needs without some form of fear, fight or judgment involved.
How many positive role models were present in your life while growing up who demonstrated qualities such as deep and caring listening, mirroring back what you’ve said to ensure a clear understanding, speaking with full compassion and vulnerability, and a willingness to recognize and release judgments as they surface? More likely, you witnessed your parents, friends and family fighting for their position and creating fields of polarity and opposition.
Have you ever been in a relationship for too long, to the degree that it feels stale uninspired and lifeless? Or perhaps you’re currently in one and don’t know how to make it better, fresher, alive and passionate? When we learn how to communicate our needs in a responsible way, a liberating, open and refreshing atmosphere is created. As a result, the relationship will either grow (if both parties have this willingness) or it will end because there isn’t a mutual agreement to meet in this field of compassionate truth. Or perhaps there is a mutual willingness, and when the truth be fully told, it’s apparent that your objectives, desires or values no longer meet as a good fit.
One great resource for learning these skills lies in Drs. Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks’ book, Conscious Loving – The Journey to Co-Commitment. My wife, Cynthia, and I found this book to be an instrumental tool throughout the early stages of our relationship. The Hendricks’ discuss how to tell The Microscopic Truth in all relationships. It’s that essential truth that exists under all the layers of protection, the truth that’s undeniable beyond the realm of blame, judgment or defense. It’s the truth that is your soul desire and must be expressed in order to truly thrive and be at peace.
The truth is that over time, it hurts a lot more when we don’t speak our authentic truth. Dis-ease is created in our thoughts, our emotions and our bodies when we’re not in harmony with our true calling. Dare to speak your authentic truth and witness a richer, more fulfilling life unfolding around you. Suddenly you begin to attract others into your world who dare to take this same stand for themselves and your life feels rich, refreshed and on-purpose.
Dare to be you!