Hey, Gentiles!

This is what I’ve been trying to tell you.  You are not getting nearly enough chicken fat, beets, or fish jelly in your diet.  Or tzimmes (which sounds delicious, but is basically a bunch of strangled root vegetables with hot prunes).  Yes, gentiles, if you ate more food that looked like this:

you wouldn’t need this:

Found in my local grocery store circular.  Oh, New Hampshire.

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  • Okay, I’m starting to figure out how a nice Catholic girl has a Jewish name. The shmaltz and tzimmes gave it away. 🙂

    • simchafisher

      That and my tags, right? You’re on to me! (Once I get my other pages up, I’ll explain a bit more.)

      • and then I suppose you’ll be wondering how I know such things too.

  • Can’t you just eat some nice oatmeal for breakfast instead?

  • There’s a reason Jews aren’t a larger world demographic and my theory is it’s because of their cusine. Gefilte fish? That looks as appetizing as cat vomit. Who would convert? 😛 [Full disclosure: My wife is Jewish and so I’ve been subjected to the full cuisine, especially at her mother’s.]

    • Mary Cambridge

      Sounds like your wife is Ashkenazi. Sephardic cuisine is yummy! Also Roman Jewish food rocks. (I have been told that they do not consider themselves to be Sephardic.) I have eaten at an amazing Jewish restaurant in what was the Roman ghetto.

      • Yes, you are correct, she’s of Eastern European ethnicity. I have heard Sephardic have a different cuisine, but I’ve never had the opportunity to sample it. I wonder if there’s a restaurant that specializes in it. I live in NYC after all. I’ve never heard about the Roman Jewish food. Thanks.

        • Mary Cambridge

          The Sephardic have a Mediterranean cuisine. Lots of fruits and veggies and fish. When I visited Rome last, I took a tour of the Roman Synagogue. If you ever get a chance, the Jewish bit of Rome is well worth a visit. The food is amazing. My understanding is that Grandpapa Benedict was a fan of pizza hebraica, which is a wonderful sweet. (hard to describe. Chock-full of nuts and fruits.) One can always count on a man from Bavaria to find the best sweets. 🙂

  • richard

    Peanut butter, wheat germ, and Grapenuts. Powdered milk to drink.

  • Christina Poynter

    That dish looks like it’s topped with pulled pork to me, so I guess I shouldn’t trust myself in the kitchen.

  • MamaK

    There’s a reason there are only Jewish bakeries and delicatessens. A full-fledged restaurant – no way. It would be as ludicrous as a British one – cold mutton or kidney pie, anyone?

    • EmberCollins


  • Naomi Kietzke Young

    It’s Gentile laxative, because it’s not Kosher for Passover. (And you can’t pretend eight days of matzot doesn’t cause trouble, haroset or no haroset!)