My Ween it has a first name, it's J-E-S-U-S

This is a terrible idea: the Jesus Ween Project (via).

As in turning “Halloween” into “Jesus-ween.” “Ween” is not a suffix, but this is the least of my objections.

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That’s right, they want Christians to give out Bibles and devotional books instead of candy to trick-or-treaters.

Remember being 11 years old and going door to door collecting candy? Now imagine that instead of candy, someone gives you a Bible. Or a copy of Our Daily Bread.*

Honestly, don’t these people have children? Haven’t they ever at least met children? What would possibly make anyone think that this bait-and-switch will be well received?

“Jesus Ween” organizers say:

Jesus Ween (Oct 31st) is expected to become the most effective Christian outreach day ever and that’s why we also call it “World Evangelism Day”. It’s a day to give out Christian gifts, just as God gave us Jesus.

“World Evangelism Day.” Because trick-or-treating is customary all over the globe.

Is there a dress code for Christians on World Evangelism Day?

I’m glad you asked. Yes, in fact, there is. From Jesus Ween’s Facebook page:

DRESS CODE: On October 31st, every Christian is expected to wear a white top to symbolize Righteousness and the love of God to all mankind. The money normally used to buy costumes can be given to ministries that print christian books to help the unsaved or give such funds to JesusWeen or food bank to help the poor.

Well, OK, the bit about giving to the food bank is nice. Is this part of Jesus Ween’s mission?

According to the “Our Mission” section of their website (and the “Why Join?” section, and the “Participate” section):

Jesus Ween is a non for Profit Organisation also known as JesusWin. We are focused on helping people live a better life. We educate people on how best to relate with non for profit organisations that publish devotionals, daily bread and Bibles. We also focused on helping people feel comfortable with volunteering with institutions that help the poor.Throughout the year and especially from October 31st till November 15th we hold several seminars on various helpful topics.

How does that verse in Matthew 25 go? “I was hungry, and you helped people feel comfortable with volunteering with institutions that fed me.” Something like that.

Anyway, now you know: If you’re approaching a house while trick-or-treating this Halloween and you see the family standing there in white tops to symbolize Righteousness, go ahead and skip that house. They don’t have any candy.

* ODB — not to be confused with founding Wu-Tang Clan member Russell Jones — is a popular devotional publication. It’s kind of like the horoscopes, except no matter when your birthday is you get the same daily platitude as everyone else.

  • Fvrnite

    >>P.S.  I first heard about Bob Larson in Kooks Magazine.  Where
    they also mentioned he was Jack Chick’s advisor on Rock and Roll and
    Backwards Masking (as Alberto Rivera was on the Catholic Church).  Need I
    say more? >>

    Do you know the issue where it ran? Yeah Larson used to do the anti-rock music act. Then when the cult hysteria came he suddenly became the Christian ” expert” on “cults and the occult”. Satanic Panic, suddenly he paraded himself as an expert on satanism. You get the pattern.

    I’ve observed Larson on and off since 1985, so yeah his fascination with penises, both demonic and otherwise, sometimes showed up. The guy is an exploiter and there is one video he made where he had on a transgender male to female person as ” guest” on his radio talk show. In it he was shockingly crude for a supposed Christian. One day he was on the air claiming he was going to vomit while his guest host had on three cross dressers. I figured Larson saw them, letched as usual for him then then when he found out he was getting a hard on for males in dresses, well, his aversion to the idea that he is gay came out.

  • The Lodger

    It all ain’t C.S. Lewis, that’s for sure.

  • Fvrnite

    >>P.S.  I first heard about Bob Larson in Kooks Magazine.  Where
    they also mentioned he was Jack Chick’s advisor on Rock and Roll and
    Backwards Masking (as Alberto Rivera was on the Catholic Church).  Need I
    say more? >>

    Do you know the issue where it ran? Yeah Larson used to do the anti-rock music act. Then when the cult hysteria came he suddenly became the Christian ” expert” on “cults and the occult”. Satanic Panic, suddenly he paraded himself as an expert on satanism. You get the pattern.

    I’ve observed Larson on and off since 1985, so yeah his fascination with penises, both demonic and otherwise, sometimes showed up. The guy is an exploiter and there is one video he made where he had on a transgender male to female person as ” guest” on his radio talk show. In it he was shockingly crude for a supposed Christian. One day he was on the air claiming he was going to vomit while his guest host had on three cross dressers. I figured Larson saw them, letched as usual for him then then when he found out he was getting a hard on for males in dresses, well, his aversion to the idea that he is gay came out.

  • The Lodger

    It all ain’t C.S. Lewis, that’s for sure.

  • Fvrnite

    I’ve referred to a man’s package as his goodies.  But then I’m a straight female. I prefer the tight buns. Better beef that way.

  • Fvrnite

    I’ve referred to a man’s package as his goodies.  But then I’m a straight female. I prefer the tight buns. Better beef that way.

  • Fvrnite

    So you’re getting your rocks off, huh, redsixwing?

     Sorry, couldn’t  resist…

  • Fvrnite

    So you’re getting your rocks off, huh, redsixwing?

     Sorry, couldn’t  resist…

  • Fvrnite

     >> Many years ago, National Lampoon had a diagram of body parts and the
    number of funny names used for them.  Guess which male body part had
    more funny names than the entire rest of the bod?  With so many, any
    word you can come up with has probably been used as “another word for
    penis” at some time.>>>

    Well if you think about it, the penis IS funny looking.

    Trade secret: us gals try not to laugh when you guys sway or plop or dangle your dingles.

  • Fvrnite

     >> Many years ago, National Lampoon had a diagram of body parts and the
    number of funny names used for them.  Guess which male body part had
    more funny names than the entire rest of the bod?  With so many, any
    word you can come up with has probably been used as “another word for
    penis” at some time.>>>

    Well if you think about it, the penis IS funny looking.

    Trade secret: us gals try not to laugh when you guys sway or plop or dangle your dingles.

  • hapax

    Giving them to kids on Halloween as an alternative to candy is a great way to get rid of some.

    Err.  Make sure you don’t give polished rocks to any toddlers who might choke on them, and even with older kids, make sure that they know THESE AREN’T CANDY DO NOT EAT KTHXBAI.

  • Consumer Unit 5012

    I remember reading on some “fan” website about Larson that he’s claimed, with his bare face hanging out, that he has an actual evil twin running around that Satan created to make him look bad.  (Bob, that is, not Satan.  Satan’s evil twin actually works at a soup kitchen in Des Moines.)

  • hapax

    Giving them to kids on Halloween as an alternative to candy is a great way to get rid of some.

    Err.  Make sure you don’t give polished rocks to any toddlers who might choke on them, and even with older kids, make sure that they know THESE AREN’T CANDY DO NOT EAT KTHXBAI.

  • Consumer Unit 5012

    I remember reading on some “fan” website about Larson that he’s claimed, with his bare face hanging out, that he has an actual evil twin running around that Satan created to make him look bad.  (Bob, that is, not Satan.  Satan’s evil twin actually works at a soup kitchen in Des Moines.)

  • Fvrnite

    Danged if I know. Bob Larson made that claim. I assumed that demons, being supernatural beings, don’t need sexual organs. I’m presuming the rationale in that is that in a patriarchal religion like Christianity is, since God is male, Adam was first and Eve was a second thought ( no mention of Lilith in Xian teachings BTW) that the idea that by default its gotta have a dick is one of those weird things people come up with. Could be that penis centered idea that a woman, who doesn’t have a dick, had hers cut off. ((shrugs)) The dumb things people come up with…

  • Fvrnite

    Danged if I know. Bob Larson made that claim. I assumed that demons, being supernatural beings, don’t need sexual organs. I’m presuming the rationale in that is that in a patriarchal religion like Christianity is, since God is male, Adam was first and Eve was a second thought ( no mention of Lilith in Xian teachings BTW) that the idea that by default its gotta have a dick is one of those weird things people come up with. Could be that penis centered idea that a woman, who doesn’t have a dick, had hers cut off. ((shrugs)) The dumb things people come up with…

  • Fvrnite

    JJ I understand. The mythology as “lies” view is one of those presumptions that I long ago knew was human bias. After all ” classic mythology” someone at some time believed was true. I use the word in the anthropological sense.  Don’t get me started in the ” witch” mess up definitions. Tried that more than two decades ago and I STILL get headaches about it.

     Yeah when the do the Christian branding first it does turn the story into propaganda and not a truly interesting tale. I agree with that.

  • Fvrnite

    JJ I understand. The mythology as “lies” view is one of those presumptions that I long ago knew was human bias. After all ” classic mythology” someone at some time believed was true. I use the word in the anthropological sense.  Don’t get me started in the ” witch” mess up definitions. Tried that more than two decades ago and I STILL get headaches about it.

     Yeah when the do the Christian branding first it does turn the story into propaganda and not a truly interesting tale. I agree with that.

  • Anonymous

    the idea that by default its gotta have a dick

    Fascinatingly enough, the biological default (at least for humans) is female. Everybody knows XX = female and XY = male; if one gets an X from one parent and neither X nor Y from the other, one gets http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turner_syndrome, which means female-shaped plumbing. If one gets a Y from Dad and nothing from Mom, divide by cucumber error, toss out the embryo and try again.

  • Anonymous

    the idea that by default its gotta have a dick

    Fascinatingly enough, the biological default (at least for humans) is female. Everybody knows XX = female and XY = male; if one gets an X from one parent and neither X nor Y from the other, one gets http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turner_syndrome, which means female-shaped plumbing. If one gets a Y from Dad and nothing from Mom, divide by cucumber error, toss out the embryo and try again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-McGraw/100001988854074 Patrick McGraw

    The “all demons are male” idea was part of the medieval arguments about cambions, human-demon hybrids.

    Some thought that that cambions came from an incubus impregnating a human woman.

    Others argued that demons had no generative capabilities, and so could not produce semen, so that had to get it somewhere else.

    There were two camps on this second theory: one held that a succubus would seduce a human man to collect his semen. She would give that semen to an incubus who would then use it to impregnate a human woman.

    The second camp held that demons were either inherently male or sexless, and so a succubus was simply one form that an incubus would take to collect the semen it needed, and then shift back into an incubus for the impregnation.

    None of them explained how using demons using human semen to impregnate human women would give you a half-demon, but I suspect biology was not their strong suit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-McGraw/100001988854074 Patrick McGraw

    The “all demons are male” idea was part of the medieval arguments about cambions, human-demon hybrids.

    Some thought that that cambions came from an incubus impregnating a human woman.

    Others argued that demons had no generative capabilities, and so could not produce semen, so that had to get it somewhere else.

    There were two camps on this second theory: one held that a succubus would seduce a human man to collect his semen. She would give that semen to an incubus who would then use it to impregnate a human woman.

    The second camp held that demons were either inherently male or sexless, and so a succubus was simply one form that an incubus would take to collect the semen it needed, and then shift back into an incubus for the impregnation.

    None of them explained how using demons using human semen to impregnate human women would give you a half-demon, but I suspect biology was not their strong suit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Art-Wood/1171658065 Art Wood

    I think these people could use some help and support. If they feel that white should be worn as white is to”symbolize Righteousness and the love of God to all mankind.” then we should help them clothe their house in a cloak of white. I think the material can be bought cheaply at many stores in the bathroom aisle.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Art-Wood/1171658065 Art Wood

    I think these people could use some help and support. If they feel that white should be worn as white is to”symbolize Righteousness and the love of God to all mankind.” then we should help them clothe their house in a cloak of white. I think the material can be bought cheaply at many stores in the bathroom aisle.

  • faithless

    Jesusween?
    Jesus wept.

  • Apocalypse Review

    It would cover up all the wind–

    Oh, I see what you did there.

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    None of them explained how using demons using human semen to impregnate human women would give you a half-demon, but I suspect biology was not their strong suit.

    No, but it does explain why that woman gave birth to a child which has the same hair and eye color as that guy from the other side of the village instead of looking more like her husband.  As I understand, “It wasn’t my fault, I must have been raped by an incubus while asleep!” kept things from getting ugly… 


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