My Ween it has a first name, it's J-E-S-U-S

This is a terrible idea: the Jesus Ween Project (via).

As in turning “Halloween” into “Jesus-ween.” “Ween” is not a suffix, but this is the least of my objections.

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That’s right, they want Christians to give out Bibles and devotional books instead of candy to trick-or-treaters.

Remember being 11 years old and going door to door collecting candy? Now imagine that instead of candy, someone gives you a Bible. Or a copy of Our Daily Bread.*

Honestly, don’t these people have children? Haven’t they ever at least met children? What would possibly make anyone think that this bait-and-switch will be well received?

“Jesus Ween” organizers say:

Jesus Ween (Oct 31st) is expected to become the most effective Christian outreach day ever and that’s why we also call it “World Evangelism Day”. It’s a day to give out Christian gifts, just as God gave us Jesus.

“World Evangelism Day.” Because trick-or-treating is customary all over the globe.

Is there a dress code for Christians on World Evangelism Day?

I’m glad you asked. Yes, in fact, there is. From Jesus Ween’s Facebook page:

DRESS CODE: On October 31st, every Christian is expected to wear a white top to symbolize Righteousness and the love of God to all mankind. The money normally used to buy costumes can be given to ministries that print christian books to help the unsaved or give such funds to JesusWeen or food bank to help the poor.

Well, OK, the bit about giving to the food bank is nice. Is this part of Jesus Ween’s mission?

According to the “Our Mission” section of their website (and the “Why Join?” section, and the “Participate” section):

Jesus Ween is a non for Profit Organisation also known as JesusWin. We are focused on helping people live a better life. We educate people on how best to relate with non for profit organisations that publish devotionals, daily bread and Bibles. We also focused on helping people feel comfortable with volunteering with institutions that help the poor.Throughout the year and especially from October 31st till November 15th we hold several seminars on various helpful topics.

How does that verse in Matthew 25 go? “I was hungry, and you helped people feel comfortable with volunteering with institutions that fed me.” Something like that.

Anyway, now you know: If you’re approaching a house while trick-or-treating this Halloween and you see the family standing there in white tops to symbolize Righteousness, go ahead and skip that house. They don’t have any candy.

* ODB — not to be confused with founding Wu-Tang Clan member Russell Jones — is a popular devotional publication. It’s kind of like the horoscopes, except no matter when your birthday is you get the same daily platitude as everyone else.

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  • Anonymous

    Darn it, I posted under an old name.

  • Anonymous

    Darn it, I posted under an old name.

  • Anonymous

    Aaaand posted under the wrong name twice.  I fail a little bit.  But now I’m logged in.

  • Anonymous

    Aaaand posted under the wrong name twice.  I fail a little bit.  But now I’m logged in.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-McGraw/100001988854074 Patrick McGraw

    The “all demons are male” idea was part of the medieval arguments about cambions, human-demon hybrids.

    Some thought that that cambions came from an incubus impregnating a human woman.

    Others argued that demons had no generative capabilities, and so could not produce semen, so that had to get it somewhere else.

    There were two camps on this second theory: one held that a succubus would seduce a human man to collect his semen. She would give that semen to an incubus who would then use it to impregnate a human woman.

    The second camp held that demons were either inherently male or sexless, and so a succubus was simply one form that an incubus would take to collect the semen it needed, and then shift back into an incubus for the impregnation.

    None of them explained how using demons using human semen to impregnate human women would give you a half-demon, but I suspect biology was not their strong suit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-McGraw/100001988854074 Patrick McGraw

    The “all demons are male” idea was part of the medieval arguments about cambions, human-demon hybrids.

    Some thought that that cambions came from an incubus impregnating a human woman.

    Others argued that demons had no generative capabilities, and so could not produce semen, so that had to get it somewhere else.

    There were two camps on this second theory: one held that a succubus would seduce a human man to collect his semen. She would give that semen to an incubus who would then use it to impregnate a human woman.

    The second camp held that demons were either inherently male or sexless, and so a succubus was simply one form that an incubus would take to collect the semen it needed, and then shift back into an incubus for the impregnation.

    None of them explained how using demons using human semen to impregnate human women would give you a half-demon, but I suspect biology was not their strong suit.

  • http://twitter.com/FearlessSon FearlessSon

    None of them explained how using demons using human semen to impregnate human women would give you a half-demon, but I suspect biology was not their strong suit.

    No, but it does explain why that woman gave birth to a child which has the same hair and eye color as that guy from the other side of the village instead of looking more like her husband.  As I understand, “It wasn’t my fault, I must have been raped by an incubus while asleep!” kept things from getting ugly… 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Art-Wood/1171658065 Art Wood

    I think these people could use some help and support. If they feel that white should be worn as white is to”symbolize Righteousness and the love of God to all mankind.” then we should help them clothe their house in a cloak of white. I think the material can be bought cheaply at many stores in the bathroom aisle.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Art-Wood/1171658065 Art Wood

    I think these people could use some help and support. If they feel that white should be worn as white is to”symbolize Righteousness and the love of God to all mankind.” then we should help them clothe their house in a cloak of white. I think the material can be bought cheaply at many stores in the bathroom aisle.

  • Apocalypse Review

    It would cover up all the wind–

    Oh, I see what you did there.

  • faithless

    Jesusween?
    Jesus wept.