The way to find a certain something

Faith is not about certainty; it is about vulnerability.”

“Love isn’t something that needs to be fixed or healed or redeemed. It’s already the highest law.”

“Without any more distinction of Colour, Nation, Language, Sexe, Condition, all may bee One in him that is One, and onely blessed for ever.”

The Bible is not a manufacturer’s handbook. Neither is it a science textbook nor a guidebook for public policy.”

“When your position is that the Bible (and your highly questionable interpretation of same) is a ‘manufacturer’s handbook for how to run all of public policy and everything in society,’ any distinction between religion and politics has obviously been obliterated.”

“The biggest problem with David Barton is not bad history or proof-texting. The biggest problem is his version of Civil Religion, wherein the nation displaces the church, and America emerges as the new Israel with whom God has a special covenant.”

These monsters are an important part of who we are and, by the way, are quite a bit more terrifying than the thing you only thought lived under your bed when you were a kid.”

“Discovering that these promises, that Jesus makes us happy all the time and that everything in the Bible is always exactly right, are empty and false nearly destroyed my faith. I cannot allow these ideas to infect and destroy my children.”

“Many would recognize evangelicals for their anti-abortion, anti-gay, pro-family stances today.”

Being a pro-choice evangelical is a bit niche, isn’t it?

Being gay for a year saved my faith.”

“So it’s somewhat shocking to find all of that turned on its head in your lifetime.”

We feel the bishops are abusing their power in attempting to direct Catholics on how to vote on this civil matter and impose their position on all citizens, Catholic and non-Catholic.”

“If you ask me to respect your faith, your beliefs, then all I ask is that you do the same for everyone else.”

“The only time you need to worry about what’s in your neighbor’s bowl is if you’re checking to make sure they have enough.”

“But even the good are not really good, just like you and me.”

“As we laid our baby girl down for a nap in her crib, Clinton declared then and there that Miss Coco Peru would forever be Elizabeth’s fairy godmother.”

Church Signs Epic Fails, Vol. XXXV

  • http://stealingcommas.blogspot.com/ chris the cynic

    Hey, an article about Maine.

    *reads*

    Hey, a good article about Maine.  (Assuming we don’t screw up this time.)

  • http://stealingcommas.blogspot.com/ chris the cynic

    Did disqus eat my comment? 

    Is it doing it to other people?  Is that why there are no comments here?

  • http://thatbeerguy.blogspot.com Chris Doggett

    Re: the articles on Timothy Kurek (the evangelical who went “undercover” as gay for a year)… ugh.

    I’m supposed to be moved by his journey from ” I feel like beating the hell out of [ a gay man on the dance floor ]” to  having ” to be restrained from confronting the man [ who called him a faggot ]“? So he was a belligerent violent bigot who discovered he didn’t need bigotry to express violent urges towards those he disagrees with? He discovered sympathy for homosexuals when he discovered one of his friends was gay and being kicked out of the house for coming out; sorry for being cynical, but I wonder just how much personal growth he would have had without a book deal lined up. 

    I’m also a little bothered by this:
    “In order to avoid unwanted sexual passes from men, Kurek recruited Shawn to act as a faithful boyfriend…”

    Maybe I’m just having a bad day, but “I used to call people ‘fags’, then someone called me a ‘fag’ and it really hurt, so now I don’t do that” just isn’t that remarkable a story to me. I also doubt that his book is being marketed to, aimed at, or sold to the people who most need to read it; at best, it’s being bought and given as awkward gifts that get left conspicuously on bookshelves. 

  • http://twitter.com/shay_guy Shay Guy

    “When you’ve mislaid a certain something, keep your cool, and don’t get hot; Calculatus Eliminatus is the best friend that you got. Calculatus Eliminatus always helps an awful lot: The way to find the missing something is to find… out… where… it’s… not!”

    Ahem. Back to your regularly scheduled program.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    Sometimes it takes a person walking in the shoes of another to really understand what they undergo.

  • AnonaMiss

    The Coco Peru article made me tear up a little.

  • Fusina

     It made me tear up a lot–I was bullied in school for no reason that I knew of at the time–hell, I still don’t know why they chose me.

  • Nirrti

    That “monster” article’s explanation of humans getting high off of hate is why people scare the crap out of me. If I were walking down the street and saw a huge grizzly bear, I’d be like, “Oh cool!” When I see a person walking towards me, I get the urge to run and hide.

    I’m on the autism spectrum so that “high” that typical people get when they bully and hate others isn’t wired into my brain. That also makes me more vulnerable to people who hate those who are different, especially since I don’t have the instinct to fight back. It has always astounded me that people would rather find a reason to hurt someone than be loving toward them.

    I hope we can evolve away from the need to hate.  If we don’t, we will most likely nuke ourselves to extinction.

  • Jessica_R

    And because I never pass up an opportunity to point out how much Paul Ryan sucks, http://www.classwarfareexists.com/paul-ryan-pretends-to-clean-dishes-at-homeless-shelter/#ixzz29OodZI6s

  • quietglow

    It doesn’t sit well with me either. He’s missed the part where people face adversity and homophobia because they won’t lie, and the whole time he was living a voluntary deception. 

    Other people have gotten all the insights he listed without lying to everyone around them for a year.

  • http://profiles.google.com/marc.k.mielke Marc Mielke

    Re: Timothy Kurek: Ted Haggard wishes he had thought of that cover story!

    I think the Coco Peru story is another one for the Voight-Kampff. If you don’t tear up by the end, you’re probably a replicant.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    That “monster” article’s explanation of humans getting high off of hate is why people scare the crap out of me.

    I’m reminded of when I was reading about the breakup of Yugoslavia. Serbs and Croats at the time spoke of the exhilaration they felt at feeling hatred for another group of people who they shared a common language with.

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    “when I went to college all of the gay friends that I had were decidedly not Christian, so their sexual orientation didn’t have any bearing on my theology”

    Wait, what? Run that by me again?

    When did Jesus say “love thy neighbor, unless thy neighbor is not Christian”? How on earth can one have a belief system which shapes one’s entire life that dismisses everyone who does not share that belief system?

    I am completely gobsmacked. I can’t understand this.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    QUILTBAG person here.

    I thought his journey was a necessary one to take. Just as in Black Like Me, it sometimes takes a member of the dominant privileged group experiencing the underclass of a society as an apparent member of that underclass to be able to get across what it’s like to people who would otherwise not give two flying fucks about what those people experience.

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    I think the biggest problem with David Barton is he’s a liar.

  • Jeff Weskamp

    The Cracked.com article, “Five Reasons Desperately Wants Monsters To Be Real,” is in my opinion one of the best articles that Fred has ever linked to.  It’s wise and insightful, and scary as hell at the same time.

    Also, Sam Harris has repeatedly said what Nirrti said.  Unless the human race makes some pretty profound changes in its thinking, it’s highly unlikely it will survive now that it has access to ABC (Atomic-Biological-Chemical) weaponry.

  • GDwarf

    One of my scariest memories is after I’d gotten into a fight with my sister and realized just how good it felt. I knew that I was at least partially wrong, but I just kept going because it was so much fun.

    I try very, very, hard to not find myself in that sort of situation again, because I know full-well that once I start I’m not going to stop. It’s an incredible high, seeing the weak spots in another person that you can strike at.

    Though the good news is that online debates, while they can make me angry, don’t generate the same feeling in me. With luck I can sort of train myself to still engage people in real-life when they’re wrong (and need engaging, not just wrong about something inconsequential, obviously) but without the sheer joy of trying to destroy them.

    It worries me that many people seem to seek this sort of thing out. I mean, that’s what many forms of trolling are, no? Baiting people into striking so that you can strike back and feel justified. Or the…jerks who go round to bars and try to pick fights, and so on. The thing is, knowing that high, it’s not something you can talk people out of, once it starts. It’s not about rational debate or proving who’s right, it’s about pummelling your opponent (physically or verbally) until they can’t get up.

    Edit: Also, I love Cracked, but I can’t be the only one who’s confused and worried by the fact that it’s become one of the most pro-equality, understanding, and science websites on the web, can I? I mean, it’s great that it is, but why is a parody website one of the vanguard on this? Why aren’t, I don’t know, the major news sites, or something, leading the charge?

  • AnonymousSam

    I’m also a little bothered by this:
    “In order to avoid unwanted sexual passes from men, Kurek recruited Shawn to act as a faithful boyfriend…”

    Completely understand why. It’s right up there with Ye Olde Standarde, “I’m fine with gays as long as they don’t hit on me.” (Translation: Then you’re not fine with them.)

  • Lori

     

    Edit: Also, I love Cracked, but I can’t be the only one who’s confused
    and worried by the fact that it’s become one of the most pro-equality,
    understanding, and science websites on the web, can I? I mean, it’s
    great that it is, but why is a parody website one of the vanguard on
    this? Why aren’t, I don’t know, the major news sites, or something,
    leading the charge?   

    Probably for the same reason that viewers of The Daily Show tend to score better on quizes about current events than people who watch network news or, FSM forbid, Faux News—because we are in deep, deep shit. So many important issues are so hyper-polarized by our political process that the only way to tell the truth is to surround it with jokes.

  • dongisselbeck

    Hannes Schneider (skier, WW1 vet) supposedly said “If everybody skied, there would be no more wars.” I would accept skiing as metaphor for any similar highly addictive, “useless” activity (chess, music, etc). If we have a society with necessities spread arround and leisure for “useless” activities, would there be any more hate monsters?

  • Nathaniel

    The article on monsters also really hit home for me, because a great joy in my life is being good at debating, which means I am good at winning them.  This can obviously lead to bad habits in my personal life.

    Ironically I am worst when discussing popular media. When it comes to topics like religion and politics I have managed to train myself to be as non thumpy and throat jumping as possible. Its when I’m discussing stuff like Twilight or Transformers movies that I can often get off the rails.

  • http://twitter.com/mattmcirvin Matt McIrvin

    Probably people would get into fights over arcana of skiing, chess or music. They do already as it is. Every subculture has its flamewars. Usually they’re not violent, but they can get violent.

    Steven Pinker has argued that the general level of violence in human culture has been declining for centuries. It’s a controversial claim, far from universally accepted. But I think it’s less controversial to say that, for all the warring that goes on now, the general level of violence in the world today is actually much lower than it was through most of the 20th century, and especially the first half. That gives me hope.

    (People often rebut this by saying that circa 1900, people thought the world was on the road to perpetual peace, only to be disillusioned by the World Wars. Note, though, that that was a world of unabashed colonialism; the peaceful, prosperous West was propped up by imperial violence in the rest of the world. The US and other Western powers are hardly innocent of imperialist behavior today, but you have to go a long, long way to beat Leopold of Belgium in the Congo, or the Germans in the Herero War, or the US in the Philippines.)

  • http://aris-tgd.dreamwidth.org/ Aris Merquoni

     (Re: the not wanting to get hit on issue)… I dunno, I don’t like getting repeated sexual attention from men, and I’m even sexually attracted to (some of) them. Having a significant other to point to also helps deflect questions as to why you’re not looking for one. He said that one of the things that Shawn helped him do was learn how to flirt, so it doesn’t sound like he was too concerned about just getting hit on.

    Honestly, while I see a layer of “not getting it/homophobia” in the fake boyfriend gambit, I also know that getting constant passes from people that you are not sexually attracted to can be exhausting. Straight men don’t often have to deal with this phenomenon in the wild, so they have fewer techniques for handling it.

  • Tom

    Ultimately the ‘undercover gay’ thing is a homophobe becoming a not homophobe… so it’s good.

    But I’m pretty uncomfortable with it.  I hope he doesn’t now think he has the first clue what it’s like actually being gay, rather than just pretending.  So much of it is about growing up in fear and shame with nobody to share your worries with or get advice from.

    Jarvis Cocker put it better than me:

    I said pretend you’ve got no money,
    she just laughed and said,
    “Oh you’re so funny.”
    I said “yeah?
    Well I can’t see anyone else smiling in here.
    Are you sure you want to live like common people,
    you want to see whatever common people see,
    you want to sleep with common people,
    you want to sleep with common people,
    like me.”
    But she didn’t understand,
    she just smiled and held my hand.
    Rent a flat above a shop,
    cut your hair and get a job.
    Smoke some fags and play some pool,
    pretend you never went to school.
    But still you’ll never get it right,
    cos when you’re laid in bed at night,
    watching roaches climb the wall,
    if you call your Dad he could stop it all.

  • Kiba

    You have no idea how much can go wrong when a hypnotist stutters.

    No, but now I really, really want to know. 

    To be honest I didn’t cry when I read that article, but then I rarely cry**. However, I did have a big ol’ smile on my face at the end. Also, I love Miss Coco (seen some of her shows on video) and I wish I had a fairy godmother like her. 

    As for monsters…as I got older I lost my fear of ghosts and goblins and the like. I realized that people were much, much more scary and, unlike the ghosts and goblins, were around me every single day.  

    **Me crying is usually a sign that my depression is acting up more than normal. 

  • http://mistformsquirrel.deviantart.com/ mistformsquirrel

    I’ll bring out my old standby for when people get worried:

    Look to history.  We’ve passed the height of the Cold War remember – a time far more volatile than today; and yet we managed not to nuke ourselves.

    Heck, look at the almost casual atrocities people committed 1000 years ago, 2000 years ago, 3000 years ago… and compare that to today.

    Don’t get me wrong, there are horrible things happening around the globe all the time; but keep the historical context in consideration.  Consider for example that the long list of atrocities we can easily rattle off as recent events… are even considered atrocities at all.

    If humans really were just vicious hate machines, we’d never have gotten to where we are today where our greatest concern really is climate change – a problem caused not so much by hate, but by a combination of apathy and deliberate misinformation by a greedy few.

    Also consider this in specific regard to nuclear weapons:

    We didn’t blow ourselves up during the Cold War.  Consider the tension of two superpowers both absolutely and utterly opposed to each other, both sitting on massive piles of nuclear weapons…

    And not using them.

    Consider how close we actually came to blowing ourselves up before I was even born, and then consider that it *didn’t* happen.

    Humans are terribly flawed, but the interesting thing about us is, we get better as we go a long.  Human learning and empathy very very slowly, very very gradually push us toward a better world.  It’s slow.  It’s agonizing and it requires a great deal of effort, and there are setbacks a long the way too… but ultimately over the long haul things improve.

    Finally – consider how far we’ve come just since 1945.  Just look at WWII and the immediate aftermath, then compare that to today.

    Not good enough no, but remember, we’re on a long road here folks.  What we’re fighting for today is in many ways not for us – it’s for everyone who comes afterward.  (Not that we don’t want it for us; but it does take time to change things.)

  • http://www.alise-write.com Alise Wright

    Hi! 

    This is definitely NOT about not loving folks who don’t share my faith (my husband is an atheist, so there’s that), but rather about how I had different standards for Christians & non-Christians when it came to the question of “is it a sin” regarding homosexuality.

    I never held those who weren’t in the Church to the same standards that I held those who claimed to be Christians. So yeah, folks who weren’t Christians didn’t challenge my faith much because of COURSE they would do things that were outside of God’s will. They could be okay with their sexuality because they weren’t following the same rules. (My views about this have since changed, but that’s where I was at that time.) It was easier for me to accept them than it was to accept a gay Christian, because they were acting the way they were “supposed to” act.

    It took knowing a gay Christian for me to understand that people could accept and love their sexuality regardless of faith. 

    Again, I’m not saying this was right, but that was where I was coming from.

  • http://www.joyinthisjourney.com Joy in this Journey

    Thanks for the link, Fred. 

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    Why aren’t, I don’t know, the major news sites, or something, leading the charge?

    The same reason The Daily Show is leading the charge on TV. There’s money in being funny. Corporate America doesn’t think there’s money in actual news. 

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    The reason repeated passes from people you’re not attracted to is exhausting is that it’s scary. Women have very good reasons to be scared when men hit on them. Straight men don’t have very good reasons to be scared when gay men hit on them. 

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    I’m glad you’ve changed the way you see things now. I thought there was a large probability that you had.

    I’m still trying to understand the original belief though. I don’t get how anyone can believe something about humanity, something so important that it’s at the core of who you are, and exclude large swathes of humanity from it. Doesn’t it necessarily mean thinking those who are Christian (in this instance) are inherently better and more worthy than those who are not? More human, even? 

  • EllieMurasaki

    Yeah, but a lot of them think they do. Goes back to the whole idea of feeling entitled to the attention and/or body of someone that one is attracted to. If a straight man feels that way about a woman, why wouldn’t a gay man feel that way about another man? And being on the receiving end of that entitlement is scary. Not that this leaves me in any greater sympathy for them, because the fix isn’t ‘avoid being hit on by gay men’, it’s ‘get people to realize that attraction does not confer entitlement’.

  • Isabel C.

    That doesn’t really hold true for my experience. Or, rather, while I think that a lot of women do have very good reasons to be scared when men hit on them, I’m fortunate enough never to have experienced that sort of thing, and my reaction to being hit on has never included fear except maybe fear of someone making a scene.

    But I still find being hit on profoundly tiresome most of the time. Particularly so when the guys are indirect or passive, actually, to the point where I almost wish some of them *would* just try to feel me up: I could tell them to fuck off, and we could move on.  It’s just this constant low-grade thing, and I’m not even the hottest woman around, just decent-looking for my crowd and single. 

  • quietglow

     Well yeah, I am too, but even so, I thought he missed the basic point. People don’t come out to their families because they’re setting out to teach everyone about tolerance, they come out because that’s the way it is and they have to try to live a better life than in hiding. I can’t think of anything that would motivate me to fake out my family about what kind of family I’d be building. There’s a difference between letting strangers assume who you are and giving your loved ones emotional pain for months. 

    I suppose my reaction is the same as it would be if someone faked a pregnancy for months, and then said it was to understand the viewpoint of unmarried teen moms.  It’s very nice that we all learned something today. That’s a lot of baby shower gifts that have to be returned and I guess Aunt Marge didn’t need to plan to move closer after all.

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    Well, my experience of being hit on includes men I don’t know and have never exchanged one word with touching me. All the time. And I spent my teenage years being sexually harassed — but then, every girl I knew spent her teenage years being sexually harassed in middle and high school, I was just one of those who had one very dedicated harasser for those years. I was luckier than a couple girls I knew, because I wasn’t harassed by a teacher. I was also luckier than almost every other girl I was friends with, because by senior year, I was one of only two girls I knew well who had not been sexually assaulted. 

    Every woman I’ve known and talked to about this irl has talked about fear when being hit on. Even the phrase shows how dangerous an act it is. “Hit on.” It’s only online where I’ve met the occasional woman who says she doesn’t feel any fear when it happens. 

  • Lori

    The reason repeated passes from people you’re not attracted to is exhausting is that it’s scary. 

    This is not a universally true statement. There are reasons that being hit on by people you’re not interested in can be exhausting that are not a function of fear.

    Straight men don’t have very good reasons to be scared when gay men hit on them.  

    Of course not. Because no man has ever been harmed by another man. Besides, all straight men are bigger and stronger than all gay men, who are at any rate all kind, loving and gentle and never get aggressive when they don’t get their way.

  • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

    Give me the statistics on how often gay men sexually assault straight men. How often gay men sexually harass straight men. How important gay men are to straight men’s livelihoods and reputations. How much more power gay men have in society than straight men. How many straight men have been directly harmed by gay men because the straight men are men.

    Straight men have no more reason to be afraid of gay men than the average person has reason to be afraid of being struck by lightning.

  • EllieMurasaki

    Your mistake here is that you’re more concerned with facts than perception.

  • AnonymousSam

    For clarification, when I hear “I don’t want to be hit on,” I get an “eww, gay cooties!” vibe out of it. If someone is fearful of what others might do when making themselves vulnerable in that way, then that’s a whole ‘nother story — and could be quite educational to experience for anyone who doesn’t have to worry about this under most circumstances. After all, presumption of sexuality is a privilege currently held by heterosexuals in this country — anyone not heterosexual when one is making an advance is automatically seen to be at fault. A homosexual, on the other hand, can’t make that assumption about anyone and must make themselves quite vulnerable in revealing their feelings for another person… or so it is in my experience.

    However, now that I’ve had time to read the article, I can understand where he’s coming from.

    Entering alone, he soon found himself dragged on to the dance floor by a shirtless muscular man covered in baby oil and glitter. As the pair danced to Beyoncé, the man pretended to ride Kurek like a horse to the disco music and called him a “bucking bronco”. It was all a bit too much, too soon. “I want to vomit. I need a cigarette. I feel like beating the hell out of him,” Kurek writes.

    I’m willing to call that a fight-or-flight response to an aggressive, hypersexualized male presence. That smacks of fear, and in that situation, as a genuine person of alternative sexuality, I probably would have felt the same way. I don’t like to be aggressively touched by anyone I haven’t established as trustworthy, and that’s utterly regardless of what sexuality or gender they hold. Even my SO, who I love as much as my sociopathic nature allows, can inadvertently trigger this response in me.

    If I’d experienced that, I’d be seriously questioning continuing with the experiment. I have to give him a nod for being willing to continue, even if it was under slightly safer circumstances. (Well, for various meanings of the word “safe.” A white gay man with a black lover in the Bible Belt region? Yeah, safety is a relative term. People have been killed for less.)

  • The_L1985

     Big hugs!  I don’t think I’m autistic, myself, but I still don’t understand the whole “hating people” thing either.  I get angry at people, but I just can’t seem to sustain actual hatred.

  • The_L1985

     I can see it happening.  Remeber, when you’re raised in fundie-land, you don’t see too many non-Christian people, so it’s easy to sort of dismiss them as a fairy tale or otherwise Not Like Me.  Apathy toward “non-believers” is pretty common.

    Also, bear in mind that it’s harder to believe that homophobia is a necessary part of Christianity when you encounter QUILTBAG Christians.

  • The_L1985

    “Doesn’t it necessarily mean thinking those who are Christian (in this
    instance) are inherently better and more worthy than those who are not?
    More human, even?”

    Basically, yes.  The whole thing falls apart if you’re forced to think about it.

  • Tricksteron

    I’m just waiting for someone on the right to say that this means he was really gay all along and now he’s just pretending to be straight because it’s all part of the sinister gay agenda to convert all straights into queers

  • http://thatbeerguy.blogspot.com Chris Doggett

    I’ve read some reactions from the left that amounted to “Riiight, he was pretending to be gay for a year to learn how people would act”. I put that on the same level. 

  • Lori

    For purposes of the situation we’re discussing, the guy wasn’t a straight man. He was presenting as a gay man and therefore the statistics that would be important are how often gay men assault gay men. I don’t know off the top of my head, but I suspect the answer is not zero.

    Beyond that, my issue is with the notion that a given person in a given situation can only feel uncomfortable if s/he has statistics to back up that fear. Neither the world nor people’s emotions work that way. I also don’t see how acting as if men never have any reason to feel uncomfortable helps women.

    For FSM’s sake, say “particular guy may have reason to feel fear in a particular situation” =/= “:men are assaulted more than women”. Jesus. 

  • EllieMurasaki

    He was presenting as a gay man and therefore the statistics that would be important are how often gay men assault gay men.

    Sexual assault, sure. Nonsexual assault, I suspect he has a lot more cause for concern when around straight men than when around gay men.

    And I still think the only relevant element here is the attitude common to straight men that being attracted to someone entitles one to that someone’s welcoming attention, the projection of that attitude onto gay men, and the realization that that attitude isn’t real fun when on the receiving end.

  • Tom

    “The reason repeated passes from people you’re not attracted to is
    exhausting is that it’s scary. Women have very good reasons to be scared
    when men hit on them. Straight men don’t have very good reasons to be
    scared when gay men hit on them.”

    Perhaps ‘Straight men don’t have very good reasons to be
    scared when women hit on them’ would have been better.

    Male rape is worryingly common – we currently have a series of ads up in stations here in London highlighting the issue.  This doesn’t mean that usually the (physical) power dynamic isn’t more uneven in mixed sex passes, or that straight men should be scared when gay men hit on them… but I think that for most straight men getting hit on by gay men can feel fairly similar to when women get hit on by guys.

  • Tom

    “Goes back to the whole idea of feeling entitled to the attention and/or
    body of someone that one is attracted to. If a straight man feels that
    way about a woman, why wouldn’t a gay man feel that way about another
    man?”

    Because we grow up knowing that most men are straight and we don’t stand a chance.  If anything it’s the opposite.  There’s pretty much an actual little guy in my head who says ‘stop wasting your time’ every time I fancy someone…

  • EllieMurasaki

    Not talking about what actual gay men actually think. Talking about what straight men think gay men think. This is all about perception.

  • Tom

    “Straight men have no more reason to be afraid of gay men than the
    average person has reason to be afraid of being struck by lightning.”
    Um… excuse me!?

    ‘Straight men have no more reason to be afraid of gay men than the
    average person has reason to be afraid of straight men’ maybe

    We are not some lovely poodle grooming flower brigade… some of us are real nasty.


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