‘LOL stands for Lucifer Our Lord’ and other lies told by the deluded self-righteous

This is ridiculous:

If you can’t view that image, it says:

BEWARE: Stop using the abbreviation “LOL.” “LOL” stands for “Lucifer our Lord.” Satanists end their prayers by saying “Lucifer our Lord,” in short, “LOL.” Every time you type “LOL” you are endorsing Satan. Do not use “LOL” ever again! Keep Satan out of your life. Share this advice to Christians.

This is a lie. It is an obvious, intentional and ridiculous lie.

It’s not true, and no one is really stupid enough to believe it’s true, but they find the game of pretending it is to be titillating.

It’s exciting to pretend you’re standing up against Satan. It’s pleasant to imagine that you are more righteous than your Facebook friends because you avoid the abbreviation LOL. What a convenient tribal marker to set you apart as a heroic, good and godly person.

And what a rush, pretending that you have secret knowledge that others must turn to you to receive. You are enlightened, they are benighted. They should listen to you so you can set them straight and save them from Satan and all his satanic monstrosity.

Those are the emotional rewards of playing this game. That’s why participating in such delusional deceptions can feel good. All of those emotional rewards may be counterfeits, but the counterfeits are so much easier than trying, and likely failing, to actually be heroic, good or godly.

We can laugh at the nonsense of that Facebook version of Satanic panic, imagining that those passing it along are just too naive, ignorant or dim to know any better. But that’s not the dynamic here. They do know better. This isn’t stupidity or ignorance, it’s pride.

Pride makes the deception attractive, and embracing the deception — immersing yourself in it — requires you to reject reality in favor of something else.

The end result is something that may appear indistinguishable from appalling ignorance, but it’s a different disease with a different cure.

Here is another version of the exact same delusional nonsense:

Planned Parenthood offers Black Friday discounts on murder of unborn” screams the headline.

Oh Noes!1! The Satanic baby-killers are discounting the Satanic baby-killing for Lucifer Our Lord!

Planned Parenthood of South Florida and the Treasure Coast offered the special, saying, “Visit our West Palm Beach or Kendall Health Center for special after Thanksgiving savings on Friday, November 23rd.” It appears you would have been able to save $10 on the murder of your unborn child yesterday.

It makes things a bit easier, doesn’t it? After all, who doesn’t want “cheap and easy” for discarding the unborn? We might as well get it done between our trip to Starbucks and our Black Friday shopping.

This is a lie. Two health clinics in Florida offered $10 discounts for office visits on Friday for patients getting well-woman check-ups, contraception consultations or STI screenings. Not abortions. (And, seriously, how much of a raging misogynist asshole do you have to be to even imagine that a $10 discount would create some kind of incentive for getting an abortion?)

This lie is as obvious, as intentional and as ridiculous as the “LOL” lie at the top of this post. And it is being told for all of the same reasons.

The blogger at “Front Porch Politics” is lying because it makes him feel good about himself. He is lying to make himself feel righteous by imagining others to be demonic. He is lying so he can pretend he has secret knowledge that others must rely on him to bestow. He indulging in a role-playing fantasy in which he battles Lucifer Our Lord, a lonely enlightened hero in a benighted world. He is lying in order to invoke tribal markers that he believes set him apart as heroic, good and godly.

And he is writing for others who wish to participate in the counterfeit emotional rewards of this delusional lie.

This invitation to deception is not true or right or good. But it is very popular among evangelical Christians desperate for some way to at least briefly feel like they are heroic, good and godly.

Lies, pride and willful delusion. That’s the cancer at the core of American evangelicalism, the corrosive rot that has turned bearing false witness into a spiritual discipline. LOL.

  • Sgt. Pepper’s Bleeding Heart

    Seconded. I was raised in a family environment where duty was valued, but was also anti-militaristic and not at all nationalistic. My personal ethic is not entirely deontological, but it certainly has a lean in that direction. Those who have more than they need have a duty to support those who don’t have enough. You have a duty to use your gifts and privileges for the benefit of others. That sort of thing.

    I had a negative reaction to Fearless Son’s comment, but not because there’s something wrong with duty. It’s that what he dresses up as duty is a disturbing desire to be the star of some violent fantasy.

  • christopher_young

    My sister has a story about a friend who rather unfortunately thought “LOL” stood for “Lots Of Love”.

    This was the Prime Minister of Britain?

  • Turcano

     Obligatory:

  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.maki Jon Maki

    A while back, a friend on Facebook had left a comment that ended with LOL.  This particular friend was someone I was particularly interested in (Read:  obsessed with) when we were in high school.  My mom had seen the comment, and we ended up having the following conversation.

    Mom:  She said “lots of love.”  Maybe she’s interested in you.
    Me:  First of all, no she didn’t.  Second of all, she lives over a thousand miles away.
    Mom:  Yes she did.  She wrote “LOL.”  That’s “lots of love.”
    Me:  That’s not what that means.
    Me:  (Explains the actual meaning)
    Mom:  Well…it could mean “lots of love,” too.
    Me:  Except that it doesn’t.

  • oneskunktodd

    CHURCH = Cultists Having Unrestrained Religious Communal Hysterics

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001098371002 Michael E. Bowen

    Got to get busy making more of these to share on Facebook…

    YOLO= YOUTH OBEYING LUCIFER’S ORDERS. SWAG = SATAN’S WISHES ARE GRANTED. ROFL = RISE, OUR FATHER LUCIFER. BRB = BEELZEBUB RULES BELOW. WTF= WORSHIP THE FALLEN.

  • Tricksterson

    The Charge succeeded.  They did reach the cannon and they managed to spike them.  It’s just that most of them died doing it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marc-Mielke/100001114326969 Marc Mielke

    If you haven’t already heard this, that post deserves a song:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42eviDgCpRs 

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marc-Mielke/100001114326969 Marc Mielke

    Pointless waste of life, yes. But it’s not duty to your country. It’s duty to the person next to you. 

  • Michele

    I also posted it, but most of my friends recognized it as too over-the-top to be true, which is why I posted it. My cousin, who is not the brightest crayon in the box, expressed her dislike for the post.

  • Michael Pullmann

     What if a guy puts a gun to my head and says “Suck my dick or I’ll kill you”? Is that not coercion?

  • Michael Pullmann

     Or were you being sarcastic? Curse this text-based form of communication!

  • EllieMurasaki

    To a libertarian I don’t think it is. You’ll want to check that with an actual libertarian, of course.

  • Weirdogrrrl

    What Green Eggs & Hams said is exactly what the person who created this hoax wants people to think….

     but sadly there will be someone out there stupid enough to believe it.

  • Mark Z.

    <actual libertarian> Yes, that’s obviously coercion.

  • EllieMurasaki

    Ah. Sorry. But there are a lot of self-identified libertarians who seem to honestly believe that coercion is something only government is capable of.

  • BaseDeltaZero

    I had a friend that had a shirt which read ‘LOL: Lots of Laughs’.  Which is… closer, I guess?

  • BaseDeltaZero

    Also, it wasn’t like the officers just up and decided ‘you know what, let’s get a bunch of our guys killed’.  There was a miscommunication and the brigade attacked the wrong target.  

  • Tricksterson

    Oh most definitely it is.  Ex libertarian, current nihilist.

  • Beroli

    My understanding is libertarianism states that maintaining an absolute monopoly on the use of force is the single legitimate function of government.

    So the guy who does that gets carted off to jail. The one who demands sexual services in return for enough food to survive, on the other hand, is only doing something wrong in a Libertarian’s book if he, personally, stole your food first.

  • http://apocalypsereview.wordpress.com/ Invisible Neutrino

    *faint voice*

    Did a libertarian actually come up with that exact line of reasoning? D:

  • Tricksterson

    Deoends on the libertarian.  They are not a solid mass.  Some might indeed elieve that ohers would consider it just another fom of coerion.

  • Umm Qasr

    LOL Lucifer is my Lord…… Btw we end our prayers with hail SAtan…get your facts right but thank you for free advertising of our lord SAtan…

  • Dave Garry

    Well no, P&G are Illuminati-owned. They’re definitely Satanic.

  • Dave Garry

    It’s a little Kabbalah spell.

  • LOL

    fuck u


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