Labias Up! Vagina-gazing season is open!

Or something. (H/T Tongue-tied.) No, REALLY. :-)

Calling all women of color.

“The Vagina Monologues” wants you.

That’s the message students have heard in the past weeks, as the annual show has opted to bring women of color center stage, while planning to leave many white women behind the curtains.

But many other students who participated in previous shows said women of color have stayed away from the play because they believe the script portrays minorities negatively.

“We can’t change the words of the script, but we can change the way the words are presented,” said Lauren Whitehead, director of the show this school year. “The script is flawed in its attempt to give all women a voice because it seems to give certain women certain voices. I often wonder why angry vaginas can’t be white and happy vaginas can’t be Asian,” she said.

Longtime readers know I have issues – loud ones with The Vagina Monologues and the way it is used to (gag me) “empower” women while (gag me more) deconstructing St. Valentine’s Day, a lovely day of chocolate and more chocolate and corny love poems, into “V” day – all about how women are Victims of Violence from those troublesome men that folks like MoDowd say we don’t really need.

Now we have to read about happy and angry vaginas?

Honestly, this makes me want to plop my giddy vagina down in a bucket of Guinness and let it slurp away, until it’s singing “When Irish Eyes are Smiling” and whistling the refrain. And don’t think it can’t do that! I have an astonishingly supple and good-natured, warrior vagina that can smack the hell out of all the sappy, happy, whiney and anggrrrry vaginas around here, without even trying. Kegel muscles, baby, they rock!


About Elizabeth Scalia
  • Jimmie

    Surely this demands a repost of the famed “Onward Christian Vaginas” post that first drew me to you, dearest Anchoress.

    Surely? :)

  • TheAnchoress

    It’s linked, Jim – see the world “issues”?

    Maybe I’ll make it bigger.

  • http://none Darrell

    What do you expect from a group who don’t know the difference between a vagina and the vulva?

  • Sigmund, Carl and Alfred

    You know, Siggy is just beside himself.

    What kind of shoes were you wearing when you wrote this?

  • Tommy

    I’m having to bite my tongue so hard it’s bleeding.

  • Larwyn

    Are you writing “skits” for SNL and
    the traveling V shows now.

    Please put up warning on that post:

    And surely do not have you mouth full of
    a bit of a fillo type apricot pastry.

    You almost lost a great fan!

  • March Hare

    “Kegel muscles, baby, they rock!”
    ROF, LMVO!

  • Donna

    Anchoress, that’s a bit more information than I needed to know about you. :-D

    Well, I might as well jump right in to this one. My vagina, like all sensible female organs, is disgusted and embarrassed by the “V Monologues.” After all, it tells me, “We vaginas are shy and reclusive by nature. That’s why we’re located in such an out of the way spot, instead of on top of your heads. Flash your legs around, if you want, wiggle your butts, wear Wonder Bras – but keep us out of it! We don’t need all this publicity! We do just fine without it!”

  • Jimmie

    Can I call dibs on marketing the “I have an astonishingly supple and good-natured, warrior vagina…” Anchoress t-shirts?

  • TheAnchoress

    Hey, I had someone aske me if they cafe press the “giddy vagina slurping a bucket of Guinness…”

    I told them the Guinness folk may not like that! ;-)

  • Jimmie

    My idea has no such copyright issues.

    Well, except for your permission.

    All I need is a snappy *ahem* logo. ;)

  • W.G.


    Any Georgia O’Keeffe flower will fit the bill…..


  • bindi

    All right, you got me to read your most-Googled post. I agree with everything you say here, and once a whole back I read that there is a scene if lesbian rape in the Vagina Monolougue and it’s described as “a good rape.” That pretty much shows you where the VM are coming from.