Come to Coney Island, Pope!

Very cute satire from the Onion.

Pope Benedict XVI returned to Rome today following a historic, three-day trip to Six Flags St. Louis, the first official papal visit to a major American theme park since Pope Paul VI’s Thanksgiving Mass at Wet ‘n Wild in August 1966
Early Saturday morning, Benedict delivered a children’s prayer in Looney Tunes Town, in which he urged “courage, resolve, and strength of stomach when you come face to face with the temptation of XCalibur,” and stressed that they should all “honor thy mother and father, who paid the ultimate price for your $45 day pass.”

“If you are a child over 54 inches tall, your covenant with fun compels you to check out Batman the Ride,” the pope added.

On the third day of the papal visit, bystanders witnessed what some called a minor miracle when Benedict reunited a lost four-year-old boy with his parents. “Today, a young wayward sheep has strayed from his flock, “the pope announced over the park’s P.A. system. “But by the grace of God, he has been found safe and unharmed, and can be picked up at Porky’s Pavilion.”

Next time, Holy Father, you’ll have to try the Cyclone!

About Elizabeth Scalia
  • Sigmund Carl and Alfred

    I wanna see the Pope eat a Nathans hot dog.

    Something about a guy in white wolfing down a bit of the manna called Nathan’s.

    I hear if you put ketchup on a dog, that’s grounds for excommu…never mind.

  • Mark C

    I thought it was cute too, but then I noticed the obscenity under the picture of him on the rollercoaster. (I also noted the tone changes from lighthearted to a bit disrespectful as the made-up story goes on. I guess they couldn’t contain themselves.

  • TheAnchoress

    Mark – I hadn’t noticed the line under the picture…but it still made me laugh…probably I am wrong to, but the idea of that soft-spoken man saying “effing awesome” in that accent…cracks me up.

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