The Anchoress
It’s guest-written by Stephen Colbert, who takes shots at everyone he can. My favorite:
Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:
Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.
There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.
So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates. For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she’s actually easy to beat, or if I’m supposed to be scared of her because she’s legitimately scary.
[…]
And Fred Thompson. In my opinion “Law & Order” never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.
Really funny stuff is usually funny because it is dead-on true.
While Colbert, ala Pat Paulsen (it really is 1968 all over again, isn’t it?) is contemplating a run for the White House, he gives us his positions:
Look at the moral guidance I offer. On faith: “After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up.” On gender: “The sooner we accept the basic differences between men and women, the sooner we can stop arguing about it and start having sex.” On race: “While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.” On the elderly: “They look like lizards.”
I couldn’t write about Ms. Dowd for a few years because she was behind a wall. I got out of the habit of reading her. I may have to start, again, and that’s never pretty, but I’ll try to be more gentle, this year. She gets thumbs up and props from me for this one.
UPDATE: Colbert’s penchant for reality blurring “truthiness” is confounding the feds.
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