In praise of Border Collies

Oh, I want to meet this wonderful-sounding workaholic Border Collie, who rounds up the sheep and holds a grudge against a donkey!

We love Border Collies, here. Ours is getting older now, and a bit stiff in the hips and legs. She and I both hobble when the humidity is high and the clouds are low. I would do anything for my best pal, and she would do anything for me, except stop shedding her gorgeous and vacuum-killing coat.

Our Collie is not on a farm; stuck in suburbia she does not get to round-up much of anything, although we do see the occasional bunny. She is unstintingly loyal, fiercely protective, a little food-obsessed. Too much like me. When she was a pup, we installed a pool; she fell into it, panicked and since then she has a deep distrust of the body of water in the backyard. When I do laps, she must be taken into the house, otherwise she runs around the pool, non-stop, and continuously barking – she works her poor self into a frenzy. I believe she sees all that splashing and worries that I am drowning. As soon as I stop swimming, she is calm again. She is, even in her dotage, adorable and sweet; she uses words like “mom” and “mine”, and I love her.

Six years ago, we were lucky enough to make a trip to Ireland and one of our favorite memories in that place was being stalled on the road while farmers rounded up their sheep. We got to watch a border collie in action, and she was magnificently efficient; when she was done, she simply planted herself before the farmer, as if to say, “okay, that’s done, what do you need next?”

I’ve written before about my own dog’s nagging when I don’t get something done fast enough.

Border Collies are very smart dogs. They’re like having another teenager in the house, and once they get an idea in their head, they pester you. In the past this dog got after me for a burned-out lightbulb in the ceiling fan which bothered her because it messed with her light-and-shadows and kept making her jump. When I didn’t fix it fast enough to please her, she followed me around all day, saying, “I could fix that lightbulb for you…You’re going to fix it, right? Because if you’re not, I could probably do it…do you have a ladder? Please fix the light…”

Tonight, I got, “Ma, what you eating?”

“Go away,” I said. “You’ve had your supper and this is a banana. I know you don’t believe this, but you’re a dog; you don’t eat bananas.”

“I could eat bananas,” she said defensively, cocking her head. “You’ve never let me try.”

“It’s fruit.” I explained. “You won’t like it and you’ll spit it all over the floor and then I’ll have to clean it up.”

“I am quite certain that I will like it,” she argued, “you’re being mean and lazy. You always keep me from growing and learning because you don’t want to do a little cleaning…”

You can’t say enough good things about Border Collies!

Related: O unhappy and biscuitless world!