Busybodies intrude on childhood friendship

Sometimes I wonder if “enlightened experts” ever had childhoods,

. . . increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend?

“I think it is kids’ preference to pair up and have that one best friend. As adults — teachers and counselors — we try to encourage them not to do that,” said Christine Laycob, director of counseling at Mary Institute and St. Louis Country Day School in St. Louis. “We try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends.”

“Parents sometimes say Johnny needs that one special friend,” she continued. “We say he doesn’t need a best friend.”

Unreal. Read the article. The schools and “experts” are intrusive and unnatural. And sad.

This isn’t about what’s good for the children; it is about being better able to control adults by stripping from them any training in intimacy and interpersonal trust. Don’t let two people get together and separate themselves from the pack, or they might do something subversive, like…think differently.

This move against “best friends” is ultimately about preventing individuals from nurturing and expanding their individuality. It is about training our future adults to be unable to exist outside of the pack, the collective. The schools want you to think this is about potential bullying and the sadness of some children feeling “excluded.” But that is not what this is about.

As a kid I was the target of “the pack;” I know more than I care to about schoolyard bullies, and I can tell you that the best antidote to them was having a good friend. One good friend who shares your interests and ideas and sense of humor can erase the negative effects of the conform-or-die “pack” with which one cannot identify, “the pack” that cannot comprehend why one would not wish to join them and will not tolerate resistance.

Meatballs is a very silly movie with a very important, kind (and apparently subversive) core message: if you can make one good friend, you’re doing very well. That group identities have certain undeniable values, but our intimate relationships are what keep us grounded, and help us to discover and more completely be who we are.

I am so glad my kids are not in the public schools, anymore, but if they were still little, this latest bit of nonsense would be yet another reason to consider homeschooling.

About Elizabeth Scalia
  • Patrick

    This is especially awful for shy introverts who thrive with a small number of really close friends rather than a large number of acquaintances.

  • http://dailywoof.wordpress.com Kensington

    It’s like Brave New World starting to form all around us. I wonder if others are starting to have the same reflexive jolt of contempt whenever they hear the word “expert” in regard to some matter of sociology that I do.

  • SuzyQ

    What the hell is a “child-rearing expert”? In the real world, we call those “parents,” and they become “experts” over time, through the very act of raising their children. Bad things happen when you intellectualize and commoditize natural functions of humanity – or, in this case, one of its very essences.

  • http://milehimama.com Milehimama

    I wonder how long until this is expanded to dating, then to marriage. After all, why should one give one’s heart to a single person, instead of sharing with everyone? They are beginning to teach children that bonding with one single person is wrong.

    Maybe I read too much scifi where, in future utopias (and dystopias) marriage is abolished.

  • Diane

    “…stripping away from them any training in intimacy and interpersonal trust.”

    Bingo, Anchoress.

    What’s more, those close personal friendships are the mirror that helps kids retain a sense of their own unique value in a public school world that prefers conformance to whatever norm those who dominate there impose.

    The counselor who would deny kids those personal friendships might want to surrender her job counseling human beings and try herding livestock instead.

    [Our intimate friendships also inform our ability to relate to God. -admin]

  • Jodi

    I find it humorously ironic that the children the story highlights as not having best friends and socializing in a “pack” (what a lovely descriptor) are twins.

  • http://www.anamericanlion.com/ Norman Rogers

    Every time I see the more tender scenes between Bill Murray and that kid that never went on to do anything who played the central character in this film, I get a little teary-eyed. It’s really a moving film, once you get past the hijinks and the slapstick humor. This is what a summer camp movie is supposed to be about, and not about cutting people up or blowing up stuff or fighting monsters.

  • Tonestaple

    I would not have survived junior high and high school with my best friends. Who are these experts? Did they not have any friends, and they’re still holding a grudge over that?

    I have long suspected that the reason lefties are so in love with public transportation is because they don’t want people to be alone. For many people, the drive to work is the only quiet private time they get in their day. When a person is alone, he can think deep and subversive thoughts. If a person is on a train or bus, there’s too much going on, too much to watch out for, to think much.

    The foolishness of these people who disapprove of best friends is part and parcel with that. Don’t let those two go off together and talk and imagine and think deep thoughts – who knows what kind of trouble they might get into.

  • Tom Carty

    Thomas Sowell’s column a week or so ago suggested that pretending to have a solution to a problem when you really don’t is often more harmful than the problem it pretends to solve. Surely that idea applies here.

  • Joe

    Don’t forget that other sleeper Bill Murray movie, Rushmore.

  • http://ranting-ricki.blogspot.com ricki

    Interesting. I was viewing it through the lens of “let’s protect children yet again from being hurt” because sometimes “best friends” turn out not to be so. (My supposed “best friend” dumped me at 12, when she got invited to join the popular clique.) It was sad and it upset me but I learned from it and moved on. (I had a new best friend in high school, but we now live far apart)

    I miss having a nearby “best friend” as an adult; it seems that in a world where people are very mobile it’s hard to make lasting friendships, and I often feel like everyone else has paired up but me.

    The result of the “no best friends” pressure some 20 years later are going to be a lot of insecure, unhappy adults who don’t know how to commit or have individual relationships. It will just be this big weird amoeba of “acquaintances” rather than actual relationships where you know something deep and meaningful about the other person.

    [There is something to be said for the whole process of "losing" best friends (either thru a move or because he/she gets romantic with someone, etc) and finding new ones. These things teach us about life and about ourselves. Just as our kids don't know how to handle a scratch from a playground, anymore, because they're all padded this move, even if it is not nefarious and meant only to "keep kids from being hurt," does them no favors. It does not prepare them for life, in all of its bruising beauty -admin]

  • Marym

    I couldn’t agree more. Funny, I was singing “Are you ready for the summer?” from Meatballs yesterday to my 10 year old…

  • saveliberty

    Do you wonder if the busybodies at schools are coming up with anything that they can think of that is not actual teaching?

    There are some really great teachers out there, but I get the idea that they are not the people behind these ideas.

  • Lori

    Reminds me of C.S. Lewis on solitude and religion (from “Membership” in his collection of essays, The Weight of Glory):

    “…this exaltation of the individual in the religious field springs up in an age when collectivism is ruthlessly defeating the individual in every other field. I see this even in a university. When I first went to Oxford the typical undergraduate society consisted of a dozen men, who knew one another intimately, hearing a paper by one of their own number in a small sitting-room and hammering out their problem till one or two in the morning. Before the war the typical undergraduate society had come to be a mixed audience of one or two hundred students assembled in a public hall to hear a lecture from some visiting celebrity. Even on those rare occasions when a modern undergraduate is not attending some such society he is seldom engaged in those solitary walks, or walks with a single companion, which built the minds of the previous generations. He lives in a crowd; caucus has replaced friendship [emphasis mine]. And this tendency not only exists within and without the university, but is often approved. There is a crowd of busybodies, self-appointed masters of ceremonies, whose life is devoted to destroying solitude wherever solitude still exist. They call it “taking the young people out of themselves,” or “waking them up,” or “overcoming their apathy.” If an Augustine, a Vaughan, a Traherne, or a Wordsworth should be born in the modern world, the leaders of a youth organization would soon cure him. If a really good home, such as the home of Alcinous and Arete in the Odyssey or the Rostovs in War and Peace or any of Charlotte M. Younge’s families, existed today, it would be denounced as bourgeois and every engine of destruction would be levelled against it. And even where the planners fail and someone is left physically by himself, the wireless has seen to it that he will be – in a sense not intended by Scipio – never less alone than when alone. We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and privacy, and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship.

    “That religion should be relegated to solitude in such an age is, then, paradoxical. But it is also dangerous for two reasons. In the first place, when the modern world says to us aloud, “You may be religious when you are alone,” it adds under its breath, “and I will see to it that you never are alone.” To make Christianity a private affair while banishing all privacy is to relegate it to the rainbow’s end or the Greek calends (159).”

  • http://cleansingfiredor.com/ Nerina

    This is one more example of the “experts” eroding parents’ confidence and the common sense wisdom of previous generations. The pendulum has swung too far. While I understand the point about cliques and bullying, they too, are a part of life (and remain so even into adulthood).

    Meatballs is an incredibly goofy movie, but still one I remember fondly and precisely because of the friendship theme. Heck, after that who didn’t want to go to camp and have Bill Murray be the counselor?

  • Joe

    So I guess we have to ban books like Bridge to Terabithia. Too subversive.

  • Diane

    I don’t think it is just that Lefties don’t want us to have alone time because we will have deep and subversive thoughts.  I think Lefties who willingly make themselves part of utilitarian systems begin to think only in terms of how to serve the utility – for transportation, it is moving as many as efficiently as possible, without regard for values or preferences beyond the ratio of number and distance travelled over resources used and with public education, it is also for moving as many bodies through with minimal wear and tear on the resources.  With such an outlook, any outlier requires more attention, so the factors making him or her an outlier are discouraged in favor of utilitarian conformity.

    Would a counselor selling the notion of self-invalidation find ANY buyers outside the boundaries of a utilitarian system?  No, because she is not serving them; she is serving the system they are passing through.  She is not really a counselor, she is a “trimmer” ensuring that everything passing through the pipeline will easily fit within the pipe’s boundaries, individuality be damned.

    We need fewer trimmers and more gardeners in education.  You know, those people who prepare the ground and plant the seeds with some expectation of the general shape to come, but who still welcome the unfolding of branches and the especially lovely blossoming of every single flower as a new and unique gift to be welcomed and enjoyed.

  • goddessoftheclassroom

    Thankfully, my school seeks to help students BUILD friendships. We (all the grown-ups) have been trained to be alert to “herd” behaviors that exclude and isolate because exclusion and isolation are bullying, i.e. power trip, behaviors.

    Parents, ask your school what anti-bullying program it has implemented (my states mandates all school districts have one) and do some research on its philosophy. Be prepared to object to anything as stupid as the point of view expressed in the article.

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  • Ellen

    “I have long suspected that the reason lefties are so in love with public transportation is because they don’t want people to be alone.”

    Shades of Brave New World. In that book everybody did everything in a group and Bernard was an outcast partially because he liked being alone. In education now, group projects are all the thing.

    Loners like me are considered a bit odd. Sigh.

  • http://www.withouthavingseen.com Ryan Haber

    More than that:

    The “intimacy gap,” let’s call it, resulting from having no intimate friendships, will make it more difficult to relate to God, as the Anchoress points out. This means, since a firm foundation in God (even if He is only known as truth or goodnessis the root of personal strength of character, that we will have more and more uprooted souls – souls without a foundation. The loss of joy will be filled, according to St. Thomas Aquinas’ dictum, with addiction. People will turn to everything from gambling to food to sex to fill the void. The trend is already pronounced.

    People who have no extended family or tight personal bonds, who are uprooted individuals in a group, without anyone who’s always ready to sacrifice and look out for them, are people who are terribly easy to manipulate and even coerce.

    I doubt educators are trying to form coercible or manipulable children – but by manipulating and coercing them from this early age, their actions can have no other effect upon them.

  • Maureen

    Losing best friends – is a sad experience, but like so many other things in life is a learning experience. You have to reflect and think long and hard about the relationship, what you learned from it, and what you can take away and enjoy, and when to know when to let it go. Over the years, people change and the best friend you had at 25 is no longer the same person at 50 (and neither are you) – sometimes you can maintain the friendship – other times you have to let it go. But it is another experience that makes you human and makes you realize that the sun will rise tomorrow and life will go on. I was heartbroken when my best friend dumped me when I was 50 over differing perspectives – I tired very hard to reach her and explain my position on the issue, but she was adamant at not speaking with me. I was sad, but also realized that our lives had taken different directions (hers involved a divorce, while mine involved late career success). Five years later when I heard that her father had died I send her an email to express my sympathy (because I knew what is was like to have both parents gone) and she was eager to meet up and go for lunch. But I knew the relationship was over and going for lunch would not only be uncomfortable, but I really didn’t want to restart the friendship – it would just cycle back to the same problems.

  • Jocon307

    These people get more and more frightening every single day.

    You are quite correct, they are attempting to train us all to be good little minions of the state.

    I too was very much bullied in school.

    I would have been completely lost without my best friend.

    This is a really creepy story, thanks for bringing attention to it.

  • Bill

    “I have long suspected that the reason lefties are so in love with public transportation is because they don’t want people to be alone.”

    I live in a small town (7,500) and we have Dial-A-Ride. The best big cities I have been to (US, Canada, Europe) have good transportation systems that include freeways and some kind of quality rail system. Options in urban transportation are important in reducing traffic congestion.

  • Libby

    Why is it that our educators want to be involved in every facet of our kids’ lives? Why is it so hard for them to stick to what they’re supposed to do: educate them, you know, reading writing, math, science? Instead, they have to keep venturing into their personal lives with sex ed/issuing birth control, exercise, monitoring and/or dictating what they eat, what transportation is suitable to get to/from school. This is just another social engineering power grab, period.
    I had this happen in 1st grade (in the 1970′s). They evaluated the kids the first week of school and then re-assigned the students so that their best friends were in another class. As a shy person, it was devastating to lose my best friend (in that 7yr old’s way that little changes can rock your world). This is thoughtless and unnecessary!

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  • Joe

    Is homeschooling the complete answer? Home Schooling is a very good model for teaching, but not necessarily for making friends–unless you want to have your siblings, parents and the family pets as your best friend. But I agree, if your kid’s school is toxic, get them out (even if that means home schooling, which is far superior to that).

    [I know homeschoolers; their kids are very well socialized. They do sports, play in bands, participate in study groups and even go to proms. They DO have exposure to more than their families. I'm sure that, as with schools, there are some homeschooling families who do it badly, but I think most parents WANT their kids to be social and to get together with kids their own ages, and homeschoolers are no different in that respect. :-) -admin]

  • Jeff

    This is what Obama wants. The Collective dominating the individual, and Obama dominating the Collective. Remember in November.

  • Leslie

    I have home schooled my 4 children for 10 years. The older two, who have graduated..both have 2 or 3 special friends. My 11 year old son, has a very best friend, who shares his love of games and goofy sense of humor. We have avoided the “drama” of the click, and these friendships have grown naturally, as a result of the time and privacy afforded them. It is a beautiful thing.

  • Joe

    Homeschooling works for socialization, only if the parents make the effort on socialization (above and beyond teaching at home).

    Is there something wrong with parochial school as an alternative to public school? Granted there are good and bad parochial schools too.

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  • pam

    Once again Anchoress you hit the nail on the head. When my son was in 3rd grade (12 years ago) there was a sign in his classroom that said “Cooperative Learning.” This sign always bugged me. It was as though the public schools want children to think as a group because they don’t want anyone to think on their own and possibly come up with the truth.

  • bt

    Weird social constructs are promoted, weird problems are created, and weired remedies are applied.

  • http://www.mendocinoarchitect.com Joe Oddegaard

    Kids should have a dog too, maybe a Boston Terrier.

    An Orange Tomcat is good too, they are quite doggy as cats go.

    And a fort, in a tree if possible, with some dangerous nail heads sticking out.

    This stuff is important.

    If you have too many degrees you will forget this.

    Please take heed, O professionals.

  • Momma K

    Why is it that the left wants to micromanage every part of your life?
    Your friends, your food, your healthcare should all be under their watchful eye.
    Really creepy.

  • http://fineoldfamly.blogspot.com Sally Thomas

    Joe — It would be possible to turn around your assertion about homeschooling and socialization and observe that school only works for socialization if parents make the effort to ensure that the socialization their children receive is positive and not otherwise. Having both had children in school and homeschooled, I’d say that the challenges of the former are at least as great as those of the latter, with the significant difference that when you send kids to school it’s very easy to think that “meeting lots of other kids” by itself qualifies as a social education. Which it does, of course, in its way.

  • Aimee

    This made me think of Oprah, and her well-publicized best friend Gail. While I do not always agree with her, I think Oprah is wise on friendship: I have heard her say that we really only get a few great good friends in life, and they are a gift.

  • Maurice

    The school involved is in fact a very expensive PRIVATE school in St. Louis county, a large and beautiful place that looks more like a college than a high school. I’m willing to bet the parents are very well off liberals who vote Democratic all the time. But that’s a guess.

    Private school is no guarantor of quality. I’m not advocating that everyone homeschool…I did not, but my eldest just graduated a very small religious school, and had a very wonderful experience. One teacher was a self-avowed liberal, but taught a benign subject, and didn’t try to foist his beliefs on the kids, outside of some friendly banter; the kids are all self-avowed conservatives!

    Anyway, I just wanted to set the record straight about MICDS. Very expensive, very nice place. And in fairness, I really have no idea about the politics or comportment of the other teachers there. My daughter used to go to a summer camp that used MICDS’ rather amazing campus as a base.

  • Davida

    “Homeschooling works for socialization, only if the parents make the effort on socialization (above and beyond teaching at home).”

    The vast majority of homeschool parents DO make the effort. They are involved in their neighborhoods, in local groups, in churches, etc. My daughter just had her homeschool graduation, in Richmond, VA, this past weekend. Two hundred graduates-just at that one ceremony (there were others held around the state)-and many knew each other, from activities, community events, neighborhoods, or church. Over the years, my kids have taken community-based classes, which have more than just homeschoolers in them-classes such as tae kwon do, aikido, and fencing. And being in a public school does not mean you are “socialized”….I do remember my days in public school. I was one of the bullied. Is that what I was supposed to be socialized into? I’d have rather stayed home (and my home life was far from perfect!) I also knew kids who both the parents and the teachers had given up on. My son remembers when he was in public school, and has told me that if I ever make him go back, he will drop out…that’s how bad it was.

    “Is there something wrong with parochial school as an alternative to public school? Granted there are good and bad parochial schools too.”

    Yes…the expense. We have never been in a place that has had too many decent, affordable private schools, and the more affordable ones tend to fill up really fast. We have, however, been able to homeschool the kids using a variety of sources, from libraries to traditional textbooks, extracurricular classes to community colleges, to, this past year, homeschool co-ops, for a fraction of what private schools would have cost. Homeschooling has also provided a bit of stability in their education, since we are military and tend to move every few years. They still lose friends, which is hard, but they are still in contact with most of the friends they have had to leave, and they don’t have to adjust to a new school, new curriculum every time we move.

    Anyway…my 2 cents worth.

  • http://fineoldfamly.blogspot.com Sally Thomas

    I really don’t want to belabor the whole homeschooling thing, but this post resonated interestingly with this, which I also read today.

  • http://www.zazzle.com/shanasfo shana

    “Homeschooling works for socialization, only if the parents make the effort on socialization (above and beyond teaching at home).”

    The problem with this whole sentence is the notion that children who go to an institutional school are properly socialized to begin with.

    First of all, they are kept rather rigidly in one age group for most of their 12 years. In high school, there is some mingling of age groups in study hall or lunch, but mostly, they only socialize among their own age group/grade level.

    The only other place this happens in life is in a nursing home. Everywhere else in life, one had better be good at socializing with many different ages, and being appropriate while doing so.

    Because home schooled kids are part of a family, they are socialized within the family first. Throughout most of human history, this is the first and best socialization. Brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews and cousins are part of a wider social group. So are aunts, uncles, grandparents.

    Home schooled children also tend to live in neighborhoods and have neighbors. Most families usually attend religious services, 4H meetings, Scouts, mow the neighbor’s lawns etc. Kids usually also go shopping with parents. They have libraries. They play with other kids who live nearby in summer. Unless their parents live in a cave on a mountain top, they and their children socialize naturally with the world around them.

    Few people live in strict isolation. It can happen, but it is very rare.

    Home schooled kids also tend to be able to talk to anyone of any age level, including younger children.

    Why?

    Because they are properly socialized.

    These days, we accept that some ‘expert’ who will never be held accountable for their awful policies is qualified to conduct insane social and educational experiments on children in schools. When they screw it up, no one arrests them, or makes them pay money for the damages they have inflicted. They get grants to mess other people’s kids up in a new way or teach others’ to do the same thing.

    An ‘expert’ can be defined like this: a “ex” is a has been and a ‘spurt’ is a drip under pressure. They don’t know common sense because ‘experts’ are paid for novelty. Why anyone listens to them is beyond me.

  • Ellen

    My brother drove a bookmobile for years and he always said the homeschooled kids were the best behaved, most social bunch of kids he met.

  • Maureen

    Homeschooled people I’ve met have grown up to be eerily happy and confident. Horrors!

    There were years at public school, and Catholic school too, when nobody in or out of classes would talk to me except for utilitarian greetings and when I was being teased or bullied. I socialized more with teachers, most years. So I really doubt that homeschooling would be all that isolated.

  • Maureen

    I’m not the same Maureen as the one upthread, btw. Sorry I forgot to change my login to make way.

  • http://fineoldfamly.blogspot.com Sally Thomas

    OK, I will belabor the homeschooling thing some more, by adding that there’s nothing wrong, actually, with having your siblings as your best friends. All my children have friends outside our family, via church, co-op classes, Scouts, prom committee, and the college where my husband teaches and my oldest takes classes via dual enrollment. Yet they take pleasure in each other’s company in a way that my brother and I, growing up in our separate lives (3 years apart, separate rooms, separate boys’/girls’ schools) really did not, nor did most of my friends with their siblings (whether the same sex or not).

    Some of that’s a function of having moved around a bit, rather dramatically — moving to and from England as young children gave my oldest two a tremendous sense of solidarity, as at the beginning of each of those moves they literally were each other’s only friend (even when my oldest was going to school in an English state school — home was the only place where she wasn’t the only American). And some of it’s obviously a function of having to spend a lot of time together. My older children certainly have far closer relationships with my youngers — the age spread in our family is 16-6 — than they would have if they had been out of the house all day when their siblings were babies. As it is, they’ve been intimately involved with them from day 1, and their protectiveness for the youngers, and the youngers’ love and respect for them, is a very lovely thing.

    I do have lifelong friends, and I hope and imagine that my children will be able to say the same, but I’m heartened to think that among those lifelong friends they will count each other.

    Oh, and the dog. He actively campaigns for BFF status with everyone, especially everyone who happens to be holding food.

  • lethargic

    What shana said. Also, Joe is speaking from ignorance.

    We home school. Before we home schooled, our children attended a well-regarded Catholic school. Our experience with that school started well, but ended in disaster. We began home schooling and have never looked back. For the school year just ended my oldest attended the local public school part-time, for two courses I chose not to teach. He was so relieved when he came home every day. He told me about the toxic *** social atmostphere *** at that school, the casual violence, etc. This is in a far-suburban school in the reddest of red-state heartlands, not an inner-city wasteland. The public school experience has been a wonderful teaching opportunity for me to teach my son about the *** social negatives *** of collectivism propagated by government programs and stratification of individuals by arbitrary factors such as birth date.

  • Mark L

    People often cite the “socialization” that public schools offer as a reason to prefer it over homeschooling. I find this curious. A modern school teaches people how to socialize with those born plus or minus 9 months of their birthday. Certainly those in K-12 rarely get opportunities to socialize with folks more than three years or less than three years older than they are. And students are really discouraged from socializing with other students that are more than one grade from the one in which they are in.

    Just think what a great model this is in preparing people for adult life. Can anyone name one adult field where 90 percent of your associates are so close to your age? In the real world an individual needs skills in dealing with people of all ages — skills deliberately atrophated during the 13 years of primary and secondary education.

    We homeschooled all three of our kids, starting out when the oldest was in High School. That forced them out of associating with their age cohort and forming friendships and associations with those of all ages. Of my three children (now all adults) the oldest (who spent the most time in public school) has the most problems dealing with people and the youngest (who was homeschooled from kindergarten on) is the most outgoing and the one most able to relate to others.

    Your mileage may vary, but “socialization” seems the most dubious of reasons to prefer conventional, age-segregated schools.

  • JuliB

    I remember as a young girl always being yelled at by my father because I wanted to talk to my friends on the phone all night. He would say that I had seen them all day in school.

    It wasn’t like we were allowed to talk! I’d see them at lunch time, but in grammar school/junior high, many of my friends were not in my class. So much for socialization.

    No kids here, so I don’t need to worry about homeschooling. But my sister has kids, so I do think about it.

  • dick

    I am looking back to when I was a kid back in the late 1940′s and 1950′s (I graduated in 1958). I can remember playing touch football with my brother and his friends (5 years older and we got along just great) and the kids closer to my age and a couple of years younger. Until my brother was a teenager and in high school all the kids in the neighborhood socialized just fine. We all had certain special friends but we also had friends older and younger. Nothing was forced. All of us spent most of the days we were not in school outside. You came inside to eat, sleep and spend family time in the evening. The rest of the time you were out there with your friends or the others to have fun with. There was no nonsense about making play dates weeks in advance.

    I look at the policies that the educators propose and I really wonder how they were raised and what they learned from it. Based on what I see they didn’t learn much at all. I hate to sound like the old fogey I am but really it was a lot better being a kid then than it is now. I am so glad I grew up when and where I did. I would not trade it for what I see around my neighborhood for anything.

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