Catholic Coiffure

This post from Acts Of The Apostasy has been making the rounds for the past couple of days. I feel honor-bound to make sure nobody misses it:

AoftheA has discovered that insufficient reporting exists in regards to Catholic hairstyles. Were you to Google “Catholic hairstyles”, you get…nothing. What, you mean you never knew there was such a thing as “Catholic hairstyles”? Fortunately you’ve come to the right blog.

After days and days long hours about thirty minutes of extensive pains-taking research, the AofhteA Department Of Commentary On Important Issues and Emerging Trends has identified several classifications of Catholic hairstyles.

Here’s how they describe Chesterton’s ‘do, “The Unkempt Ruff”:

The Man Who Threw out His Comb Thursday

Fancy yourself the smartest man in the room, and want to appear so busy with being smart that you don’t have time for you hair? The tousled tangled look of the Unkempt Ruff is for you then. And no one wore it better than GK Chesterton. The epitome of paradox obviously spared little time for his hair. Of course, should you opt for this style, it helps if you are smart to begin with.

If Chesteron, the greatest of all middle-class mystics, read this, he’d probably say something like, “When a child contemplates an unkempt ruff he sees a field of waving wheat, crowned by the season’s first frost.”

And if I heard him say it, I’d reply, “No, Gil. When a child contemplates an unkempt ruff, he thinks, ‘Please, God, take me before I get old.””

But really, who is your ersatz Anchoress to criticize? I just learned I sport the Michael Voris look, which leaves me unsure which to cut — my bangs or my wrists.

Vanity of vanities

  • http://BlueEyedEnnis Phil Ewing

    I guess Fr. Lombardo would class them all as vanity all vanity – no ego please !!

    Those words are still ringing in my ears after Monday’s meeting- I’m a hopeless cause.

    Blessings- good to see you back on form.

  • SteveM

    Looks like Chesterton and Donald Trump see the same stylist.

  • jkm

    Last line = best laugh of the day. Thank you, and back away from the sharp objects.

  • Manny

    LOL, I was just thinking this morning as I was looking in the mirror how I always wait a couple of weeks too long to get a haircut. Others seem like their hair is always the right length. I guess I can honestly say mine is still better than Chesterton’s but not as well kept as yours. :-D

  • Brian Sullivan

    Chesterton and Einstein, apparently.

  • LarryD

    Hey – thanks for the link!

    There are worse looks than the “Crusading Crew”, by the way. You could have the Pfleger Pflip!

  • LarryD

    Oh – and not to be too picky, but my blog is ‘Acts Of The Apostasy”, not “Apostate”.

    [corrected, thanks -admin]