Elizabeth! The Song!

All my life, I’ve had to listen to these pop songs about other girls with other names.

“Li-li-luh-luh-luh-la-la-la-la-Linda…”

“Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-barbra-Anne…”

“Gloria-ee-ay-oh-oh-wah-aay…”

“Help me, Rhonda…”

“Beth, I hear you calling…”

“Tell Laura I love her…”

“Angie; Aiinnngay…

Eleanor Rigby, picked up the rice…

Roxanne didn’t have to put on that red dress…

Janie got a gun…

Cecilia broke everyone’s heart…

Sweet Caroline had the good times…

Mary Jane got a last dance…

Mandy came and gave without taking…

Ruby took her love to town…

Carol had the bells, sweet silver bells…

Brenda was Eddie’s popular steady…

Everyone said ‘Goodnight’ to Irene…

And then along came Mareeeeee…

Kelly got a song; who could forget Woody’s love song to Kelly, on Cheers: “Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly…”

For crying out loud, even Agnes got a song of her own!

And Molly got a whole group to flog her…

But the best “Elizabeth” got was Elizabeth on the Bathroom Floor which was, apparently, a song about a girl who attempted suicide.

But that’s all changed, now.

Because Elizabeth has a love song written just for her!

Take that, Rhonda! A song about me and tampons. Somehow, it seems exactly right

Having no shame, I would have taken, “Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie…”

But never Liz.

All of you girls out there, who have never had a your own song — or even your own spelling! You Katelyns and Caitlins and Kaitelyns and Kate-Lynns, can have your song, now, with your name spelled correctly!

Enjoy!

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About Elizabeth Scalia