I think I saw my life pass before my eyes…

… my favorite place on earth is in my hammock. It’s a good day when time and weather permit me hours of uninterrupted solitude lazily swinging away, book in hand and cold beer never farther than arms reach. Heaven. Pure heaven.

This evening provided me with the rare opportunity to start my weekend off with a quiet moment in my precious hammock. The late summer air had the crisp chill of soon-to-be Autumn on it’s breezes. Cicadas and crickets provided the soundtrack while birds dipped wildly about in the branches over head. The sky was washed Parrish pastel in the sun’s dimming rays. Can you picture it, this scene of utter tranquility….

Ah. Can you feel your blood pressure lowering? There’s only one thing missing that would make this a perfect night. A nice big fat and juciy …


scary ass flying cockroach the size of a fist to crawl from the depths of hell and land smack on your face!

Life in the mother flipping South.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • http://catholicmumma.net Beth

    Oh, yes, reason #1 our plans of living south Georgia do not last forever. Those things are nasty, nasty nasty.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02853244433854822731 Adoro

    Why didn't you just put a leash on it and name it George or "Squish" or something? Those things are big enough to spraypaint…you could have used it as advertisement for your blog and taught it to use the litterbox. When I lived in Mexico they'd occasionally appear in the house. I think they were the things that kept the enormous rats in the Zocalo properly fed. Gosh…I miss hanging out in the hammock…we had one, too, but Dad had to hold it so I didn't fall off until I was situated. Now I don't have a place for it, and with my luck, a spider would land on my face and mistake the hammock as part of its web and entrap me there FOREVER! Talk about HELL….the permanent victim of a spider..

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03893341464969743583 Jane

    Found one of those buggers crawling around in my coffee cabinet yesterday. When I opened the door and startled it, it fled to the other side of the cabinet with the mugs. I bravely rescued the coffee and shut the cabinet tight.Fortunately there were some clean mugs in the dishwasher.I almost long for the days of my Los Angeles apartment's roaches. We were infested, but those things were tiny. Then again, it could be worse. My husband had rats in one of his former apartments. In the bedroom. It's messier to clean up a smooshed rat than a smooshed roach the size of a rat.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/03757450243693023480 Margaret Mary

    Thank you, Minnesota, for killing all the crawly things each winter.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01678341854029479678 Old Bob

    Amen, Margaret Mary! I would rather put up with subzero temperatures than those things – not to mention the critters that live in Florida Everglades and the Mississippi Delta!

  • Kim

    No joke. The other day the hubby found a GIANT cicada on the front door. It was hideous, so he took a hose to it to get it off the house. Upon landing on the ground… it screamed, or made some sort of shrieking sound!!! What kind of hell-bug actually screams? I'm so ready for winter.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01746000583450481327 Mrs. Rudd

    Oh ick.The first time I saw one on a sidewalk in Orlando I thought, "Yep, they told me that boot-camp was in the Land That Time Forgot, and I didn't believe them…"And to have one land on your face! All that my neighbors would have seen are a book and a beer gaining altitude, while the air turns blue due to words unsuitable for children to hear.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17970851228593550726 Lynne

    I'm living in South Carolina, a recent transplant from Massachusetts. I thought the bug situation would freak me out but I haven't found it to be that bad. Yes, the cockroaches are *much* bigger but they move slower.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06334203937303147489 ThereseRita

    I have a hammock that I love too but, in Memphis, the best months for its use are March & April & October & November. I.e., before or after height of bug season. Having been born in MN though, I have to say, I'll take the bugs over the cold any day!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/02623178558385901138 Rich

    Roaches have demonic souls, and every time you squish one, a devil goes back to the pit from which it came.Think of it as an exorcism.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/09649237173680633611 Charles Culbreth

    I'd say it's time for Kat's people to call Zimmern and Bourdain's people and arrange for some "True Tastes of the Carolinas" goat rope. And Kat could be the greatest.ambassador.ever. for genteel Southern hospitality.And don't forget, come next year's Dec.21, the mealy worms inherit the earth.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01469622835449220113 Dymphna

    Ah yes, the cockroaches. There's nothing like running screaming while being chased by a giant flying roach that thinks I'm a tree. Good South Carolina times…..

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04936360734610979812 amlovesmusic

    LOL!! So true…*shudder*I keep wondering about when I will see one of those in my apartment again….3 weeks and counting. *knocks on wood*

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/07874681310775395586 Lola

    I found his relative in my laundry room this week. You should have seen me jump. I'm still recovering.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/14807873592896092136 Anthony S. Layne

    I've seen worse … I lived in the Philippines for a year and a half when I was five. I rode a cockroach to kindergarten.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04458504641419416339 Smiley

    Simmer cockroaches in vinegar. Then boil with butter, flour, pepper and salt to make a paste. Spread on buttered bread.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/01715690632758132549 Denita

    The other day A cricket wanted to eat my lunch combo at Whataburger

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/06962374096401238994 shadowlands

    Oh no. Oh dear Lord no.

  • http://www.facebook.com/chris.mayhar.9 Chris Mayhar

    just saw one of these beasts tried to catch it and the evil thing let out blood curdling yell  that completely broke down every ounce of man I had in my 6 ft 200 pound self. That bug is CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!