… Most people aren’t aware of this, but I have it on the highest authority that 2,000 years ago the little village of Bethlehem was originally located on a fjord in Scandinavia.
Blond Baby Jesus is proof.
There’s been a great ongoing debate by the most serious minded of scholars, by which I mean my facebook theologian friends and the like, about the nature of Blond Haired Jesus. Before you dismiss Nordic Jesus entirely consider this, perhaps his hair darkened with age. Personally, I like to think the white cherub faced, blond-blue-eyed non-Jewish looking Baby Jesus hints to His glorious Transfiguration where He became glowing white. Here it is important to note that scripture clearly states Jesus glowed; to suggest He sparkled is a Cardinal sin. Only vampires sparkle.