the Christmas present drama…

… Most kids have a laundry list of wants already written out by the time Halloween rolls around. Not my son. No, that would be too easy. I told him if he doesn’t hurry up and tell me what he wants for Christmas he’s getting whatever’s left on the shelf Christmas Eve at the corner gas station. I hope he likes 5 Hour Energy, motor oil, and beef jerky.

One evening we were watching TV and he saw it! A commercial for what he described “as the most glorious thing ever”. The toy to end all toys that he must simply own was an Easy Bake Oven. The conversation went something like this;

The Boy: What!? Is that a real toy! Is that for real?!

Me: Yes. [sigh] Those things have been around forever.

The Boy: That’s it! That’s what I want for Christmas!

Me: [heavier sigh] It’s a girls toy.

The Boy: I don’t care. It looks awesome!

Me: But it’s pink.

The Boy: I don’t care if it’s got purple ponies and rainbows on it. I want it.

Me: What? Why?

The Boy: It makes food! Food that you can eat!

Me: You wanna make food? We have a microwave and stove right there.

The Boy: What? That thing? [pointing to the stove] Does it even work?

Me: What? Yes, of course it works. What do you mean, “does it work”?

The Boy: Then why are we having PB&J’s and cocktail nuts for dinner!

Zing!