the Christmas present drama…

… Most kids have a laundry list of wants already written out by the time Halloween rolls around. Not my son. No, that would be too easy. I told him if he doesn’t hurry up and tell me what he wants for Christmas he’s getting whatever’s left on the shelf Christmas Eve at the corner gas station. I hope he likes 5 Hour Energy, motor oil, and beef jerky.

One evening we were watching TV and he saw it! A commercial for what he described “as the most glorious thing ever”. The toy to end all toys that he must simply own was an Easy Bake Oven. The conversation went something like this;

The Boy: What!? Is that a real toy! Is that for real?!

Me: Yes. [sigh] Those things have been around forever.

The Boy: That’s it! That’s what I want for Christmas!

Me: [heavier sigh] It’s a girls toy.

The Boy: I don’t care. It looks awesome!

Me: But it’s pink.

The Boy: I don’t care if it’s got purple ponies and rainbows on it. I want it.

Me: What? Why?

The Boy: It makes food! Food that you can eat!

Me: You wanna make food? We have a microwave and stove right there.

The Boy: What? That thing? [pointing to the stove] Does it even work?

Me: What? Yes, of course it works. What do you mean, “does it work”?

The Boy: Then why are we having PB&J’s and cocktail nuts for dinner!


About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Lydiamcgrew

    He’ll definitely get farther with the microwave. Hot dogs and baked potatoes can be microwaved by kids. My kids decided to do this thing where they put cheese slices on Ritz crackers and microwave them. Insta-hot cheese sandwiches. I only tell them they have to do it on a real plate, not a paper plate. And he can make way better brownies in the real oven. He’s eight, right? Tell him you’ll teach him to make brownie mix brownies in the regular oven as a Christmas present. He’s old enough. Only thing you’ll almost certainly have to help him do for a few years yet until his hands get bigger is dump the goop from the big bowl into the baking pan. Use Pam to grease the pan. He’ll have fun spraying it. I recommend Ghirardelli brand brownie mix, but Duncan Hines is good, too. And the Pillsbury Doughboy does some mean banana bread mix I’m sure he can learn to make, with the same caveat on dumping. Oh, cracking eggs is also a bit tricky, but he can learn it.

    Hey, here’s another present idea: A little battery operated kitchen timer. Cheap, and will come in handy for timing the brownies.

    • Katrina Fernandez

      Thanks, these are fantastic ideas! I was thinking of getting him some cooking utensils and a kids cook book but thought it would be too girly. I’m funny like that.

      • Lydiamcgrew

        I’ve never tried a kids’ cookbook. Maybe I should. They might be great. I’ve just started with box mixes and moved up from there. Oh–box stuffing can also be made in a big bowl in the microwave. Just add water and butter cut into a few pieces.

        Whether you want him doing stuff on the stove top is the big question. If he’s got good coordination and hands are not really small, you might start him with grilled cheese sandwiches. Easiest way for kids (or me) to make them is using mayonnaise instead of butter or margarine, because it’s way easier to spread. The trick to not burning them is to hang over them–wait, wait, wait, check by peeking with the flipper, wait, looking nice, flip!, hey! the other side is done almost immediately. Gotta have a pancake flipper for those.

  • Brad

    I learned to cook when I was almost his age. The teen boys I work with at a juvenile facility have no doubt about my masculinity. Neither do the guys I work with. Betty Crocker Kids cookbook is one of the best.,

    • Katrina Fernandez

      Thanks, Brad.

  • Hillridge

    oMG, Ive never heard such ignorance- an Easy Bake oven is only for girls?? Raising yet another unenlightened man who expects his wife to be his servant.

    • JDF

      It is quite a leap to go from the belief that an Easy Bake oven is only for girls to a conclusion about how Kat is raising her son. Never heard such ignorance? Listen to yourself.

    • Katrina Fernandez

      Shouldn’t you be making a sandwich? Now get off the internet and get back to work; you’re making the rest of us look bad.

  • Gretchen

    My girls will tell you, there’s nothing more appealing than a guy who can cook.

    Start teaching him to cook now and within a short time he’ll be cooking for you! Scrambled eggs is a good place to start. Teach him how to crack an egg. The first few times you might let him stand on a chair and put the bowl in the sink. That way any egg that doesn’t quite make the bowl can be quickly washed away. Biscuits made with Bisquick and cut out using a small glass as a cutter are easy, too. (Yes, I realize Bisquick’s a travesty in the south. Shhh, don’t tell…!) You make the coffee. Voila, breakfast!

    • Ink

      Agreed. I can’t cook. I kind of really need to learn. Preferably soon…

  • Anonymous

    My brother and my son do all the cooking for their families. They love it. They say it relaxes them and lets them indulge their creativity.

  • GeekLady

    A kid’s cooking class might not be a bad option. He’s definitely old enough to start learning the basics, plus then he could cook dinner for you!

    My three year old’s been obsessed with cooking his whole short life and thinks its the best treat in the world to have Mac and cheese for dinner, because I let him stand on a chair by the stove and pour the noodles in and stir it after they’re done cooking.

  • Kat Sarfati

    You could always tell him Santa said no.

    • Katrina Fernandez

      He hasn’t believed in Santa since he was 6.

  • Anonymous

    My son loves to be a “good cooker.” He helps with everything, even making and canning applesauce in the fall. He loves to brag about what he can make, even if I mostly make it and he finds something to do along the way. He knows about sharp, hot and heavy–those are for mom to do, but everything else is his job.

    I say, if they like to eat, then they should learn to cook. I won’t be here forever….

  • terentiaj63

    If pink bothers you, there is also the Queasy Bake Oven (not a joke, my grandsons had one.) It works the same but the recipes are all about spiders and snakes and such.

  • Christine Hebert

    Oh.My. Laughing my fanny off and that is no small feat. How old is said boy? He sounds a great deal like my 11 year old….