I’m like the Grim Reaper of Vegetation…

… My gardening skills are simply astonishing. The list of stuff I kill continues to grow. Today I have the honor of adding four varieties of tomatoes to the official list of sh*t I kill. Roma, Beefsteak, Cherry, and Yellow Pear tomatoes, requiscat in pace. You never stood a chance.

This is commonly known as end rot. It can be caused by un-evening watery which means not watering on a flat surface and lack of calcium in the soil or something. Whatever. They are dead now and have been interred in my compost bin, where sh*t I kill rests alongside dinners I’ve burned.

Lettuce
Spinach
Onions
Strawberries
Herbs of every kind
House plants
That beta fish with the wonky eye
And four types of tomatoes…

Dead. All dead.

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