I’m like the Grim Reaper of Vegetation…

… My gardening skills are simply astonishing. The list of stuff I kill continues to grow. Today I have the honor of adding four varieties of tomatoes to the official list of sh*t I kill. Roma, Beefsteak, Cherry, and Yellow Pear tomatoes, requiscat in pace. You never stood a chance.

This is commonly known as end rot. It can be caused by un-evening watery which means not watering on a flat surface and lack of calcium in the soil or something. Whatever. They are dead now and have been interred in my compost bin, where sh*t I kill rests alongside dinners I’ve burned.

Herbs of every kind
House plants
That beta fish with the wonky eye
And four types of tomatoes…

Dead. All dead.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Mark Abeln


    • John Orzechowski

      I can identify with Kat. I can kill any plant – even cactus, even though I water it twice a day…

    • Ink

      I’d suggest spider plant in place of cactus but I managed to kill one of those, too…

  • robertgwirth

    I’m sorry to hear it, Kat.  Do keep trying, please.  Nothing beats fresh from the garden.
    Full disclosure: I have no green thumb either, but neighbors work my back yard; I supply land and water, they the work, and we split the take.  Works very well!

  • Ellen Parrish

    Have you tried cutting the ends off? I’m trying to remember from last year – I had a lot of tomatoes but I had several having that problem and I THINK that that worked.  I didn’t plant this year because they were putting up new fences here.  My secret I still think was I put up so cotton picking many and so many kinds that I kind of had to succeed.  Tho if you want something that will start sprouting in the cracks of your freaking pavers, try basil on for size.  In fact, get a large container and try out any number of herbs you might be interested in and just see how they do in YOUR yard.  What the heck?  If I get 4 or 5 times of using coriander, it’s still cheaper than buying fresh at the store.  I think it’s pretty cool that you keep trying.   

  • Metro

    If your talent is killing plants – perhaps that is a talent is misdirected (at growing). In the future you will be critical in the fight against interplanetary plant invasion. 
    My husband kicks himself because (when camping) he seems to endlessly kill campfires. BUT – since my talent is starting and playing with campfires, we’re lucky he invariably can put them out. 

  • Iris Celeste

    Unfortunately, gardening does take time.  If you don’t have the time to put into it, the suggestion of trying something small in pots is not a bad one.   You can put strawberries in a pot and place it close to where you go in and out of your house everyday.  That way you remind yourself to check it to see if it needs water, has pests, needs thinning or harvesting, when you see it.  I really wouldn’t go all out with the raised bed as you did at this time.  I have friends who also have grown herbs in pots on window sills.  Depending on the amount of light the herb needs you choose a north (east), for partial sun or shade, or south (west), for full sun, facing window.  I have not done so with herbs, but I did have violets growing nicely on window sills until I had to move and gave them to a friend who was surprised that I had african violets with actual hard wood “trunks.”

  • Manny

    For the life of me I can’t figure out what causes that tomato end rot.  When I make sure I water regularly, it still happens.  When I add calcium it still happens.  When mulch, it still happens; when I don’t mulch it still happens.  There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason. 

  • DJL

    I have a wonderful old fenced in formal garden that came with my house. Everyone who sees it exclaims over its possibilities. When they look at it they see raised beds and endless bounty. When I look at it I see a bulldozer and then, ultimately, a lap pool. Leave the farming to the farmers I say! I gladly support them. 

  • Stephen M Tefft

    Could you stop by my house and look at the weeds in my yard that won’t seem to die no matter what I do? I’ve got some sort of vine thing I took out at the roots last fall and is now growing back stronger than ever…

  • Rfrendz

    Stop before you create some monster hybrid plant that seeks revenge on our planet. Or……………Get a book on gardening and read it.  Duh! 

  • Sacredcrocheter

    I suspect you’re one of those “special” people from the Heroes series who has skills and powers but don’t know how to control them yet.  Without training, your powers are too great for the tomatoes. I suggest a one-one-one tutorial with Sylar.

  • Robert King

    Forget Mark Shea! I want to work for an Evil Overlord who shows results! I mean, you’ve already got the bodies piling up and a mass grave to dump them in! That’s proper villiany.

  • amanda

    I think the end rot can be directly attributed to the last heat wave.  I’ll be happy to help place the blame elsewhere for all the other stuff too.  :)  (But I am serious about the heat causing the rot)

  • shanaofs

    Blossom End Rot is caused by a lack of calcium  and/or uneven watering and the ‘cure’ is pretty simple. 

    Wash and crush egg shells and work them into the soil  when you plant tomatoes, peppers or eggplants, one egg shell per plant. Now that end rot has already happened, you can crush up a few calcium rich antacid tablets into the soil and water them in well to give them a shot until you can get something better, like a good sea-weed based fertilizer.  That stuff is terrific! 

    There is also a very good end-rot garden spray through Gardens Alive, which sells organic disease/fungus cures, fertilizers and insect control stuff.  I have purchased a lot of things from them over the years and have no complaints. 

    Mulch your plants well (ours have black paper mulch around ‘em) so they don’t lose moisture as fast and you’re plants can get back on track.

    I have two books that are tremendous helps to me when I garden. Both are through Rodale Press.  Rodale’s Complete Garden Problem Solver (Delilah Smilttle, editor) which is great for diagnosing problems and giving cures and advice, the other is Rodales Big Book of Gardening Skills for everything else.  There is also the “All New Encyclopedia of Organic Gardening, but it is more a reference for new plants and trees. 

  • Cordelia

    I am a lazy gardener…on purpose. Read books? Ha! Follow advice? Ha, ha! It is probably the only area in my life where I am NOT trying earnestly and anxiously to Do The Right Thing. So in my garden, I’m learning everything the hard way – and I am okay with that.

    This year we have a new-to-us, very small greenhouse. I planted it up in late April with tiny seedlings – 4 tomatoes, 1 tomatillo, 2 peppers, 1 eggplants, 4 cucumbers, 2 watermelon, 1 honeydew, 4 zucchini, 12 strawberries, 6 basil. And I also left growing the 4 volunteer potatoes and 2 volunteer pumpkins. Did I mention that the greenhouse is only 6 x 8′?So – anybody want to guess what’s happened? Yep. The squash have taken over the universe, and everything else is dying a slow death by suffocation… So I probably won’t have my own tomatoes this year, either.

  • http://www.lendingstrengthbearingwitness.com/ Kathykalinarn

    Oh, dear. I kill stuff, too. I have a black thumb. Also, I can’t wear a watch. Once, an old nurse gave me her watch, because she thought it was shameful for a nurse not to wear one. She’d had it for thirty years; it lasted less than two days on my wrist. Maybe it’s something about the electromagnetic field?