Follow Your Heart
Following your heart while leaving behind your head leads to a world of trouble. I wish someone told teenager Kat that twenty years ago. Following heart, bad. Stopping to think, good. The heart wants all sorts of crazy things and telling your child to follow theirs gives them a free pass to follow those desires without stopping to consider the consequences those actions may have on others.
You Can Be/Do Whatever You Want If You Set Your Mind To It
When I was a little girl I wanted to be a flying robot unicorn. You see how well that turned out. I like to think of myself more as a someone with realistic standards instead of a killer of dreams. Some things have limitations that need to be realized. There will be goals we set and try mightily at yet still fail. Sorry kiddo, that’s life. You’ll never be a flying robot unicorn or anything other than what God made you for.
Do What You Think Is Best
No. Emphatic no. Kids don’t know what’s best, ever. They look to responsible adults to tell them what is best. They need us to direct them accordingly. Kids think candy for dinner is best. Teenagers think doing what every one else is doing is best. If a child comes to you and asks for your input on a matter and the best reply you can offer is “do what you think is best” than you might as well say what you’re really thinking… “I don’t know. I don’t care. Where is the remote? Oh, you’re still here?”
It Doesn’t Matter What Others Think
Yes it does. It matters a great deal what others think; especially the opinions of family, employers, teachers, priests, and pretty much anyone who is in a position. Oh, and judges. You want to try and remember to impress judges should, you know, the need arise.
A child who is taught that the opinions of others don’t matter will grow into a person who lacks self awareness and does whatever the hell they want since – you know – they don’t care what others think. Parents especially. Who cares what parents think? This whole permissive philosophy of not caring reaps self indulgent adults who behave in all sorts of infantile, socially unacceptable ways.
We could definitely do with a more disapproving scowls to teach the socially wayward child what is acceptable.
You are now free to pity my son who suffers under my oppressive thumb.