This Just In – Sex Has Consequences…

… Oh my goodness! Did you know sex causes babies!?! Shocking, I know.

If you are having sex it’s safe to assume that you might get pregnant, you know, with a baby. That is the result of having sex.

Yes, yes, birth control blah blah blah. But really all that does is encourage risk taking behavior and well, more sex. Which causes babies. Because we all know the only thing that 100% prevents babies is to not have sex. It’s not rocket science. Just basic biology and common sense. Sex = Babies.

I’m always astounded when I hear women talk about their unexpected pregnancies. What exactly was unexpected about it? Were they having unexpected sex?

That’s one of many reasons why I dislike artificial birth control so much. The prevalent use of it has caused a mental divorce between the idea that sex causes babies and that sex has consequences. All these pro-abortion advocates running around talking about planned parenting… how about if you don’t want a baby just plan to not have sex.

We really need to stop using this phrase “unexpected pregnancy” because it doesn’t make sense. Technically there is no such thing as an unexpected pregnancy. All this feigned shock and dismay at the two pink lines on a pregnancy test is ludicrous.

Yes, Yes birth control again blah blah blah. In that case you still don’t have an unexpected pregnancy; you have the expected consequences of sex which you were hoping to avoid by using birth control. In other words, you knew the risk of sex was babies but decided to have sex regardless because the consequences were supposed to be removed by the use of birth control… which isn’t 100% effective and becomes less effective with every year of use. And if you don’t know that then you need to get a new gynecologist right away.

To recap: There is absolutely nothing unexpected about the fact that actions have consequences. Sex has consequences and this should shock no one. If it does, then you probably should not be having sex.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Karen

    I love this post. It pretty much sums up all my frustrations with the lies surrounding artificial birth control. When I was engaged to my husband, my mom pulled me aside at one point and muttered about how I should “make an appointment” and “get something started” before the wedding day. My future husband and I had already discussed and agreed on NFP, in our case, the Marquette model. I just told her we already had something lined up, and left it at that.

    Fast forward to four months after our wedding, we found out our first baby would be born almost a year to the day on our wedding anniversary! My parents were NOT pleased. They were, in fact, disgusted, but then my mom said since she’d heard from my cousin that we were using NFP she shouldn’t have been surprised and then went on to complain about the “classroom full of kids” we’d be having.

    13 years of marriage, four kids. YEP, that’s a whole classroom!

    • Ann Couper-Johnston

      Those kids are very privileged – only 4 in the class … WOW! (Sorry – my sense of humour got the better of me …. ) I’m sure they are indeed privileged to have you as their mother and it will be a great respect for them and their young bodies that they won’t be encouraged to take powerful hormones from an early age to counteract their bodies performing a major function just the way it should. (That wry sense of humour of mine is wondering if they are all boys ;-) but if they are then they will be learning something beautiful too – how to treat a woman with real respect.

    • Shaylynn H.

      I fail to see why your parents were disgusted that you had a baby after you were married. Did they expect you to not have sex with your husband? Or were they just unaware of how birth control works? Not trying to be insulting.

  • Danielle Bean

    While I agree that our culture’s mental separation of sex from its natural consequences is a real problem, I disagree with your rejection of the term “unexpected pregnancy.” Speaking as a mother of 8 who is 100% pro-life and 100% anti-contraception, I need access to the term because I have definitely had my share of “unexpected pregnancies.” All of them were eventually joyfully and gratefully accepted as the irreplaceable gifts that they are, but seeing those pink lines when you are unprepared for them (and thought you were taking reasonable and licit measures to avoid them) can be a significant challenge. Telling struggling women in this situation “DUH! You had SEX!” is not helpful.

    That said, I do recognize that you are addressing the problem of women who use artificial birth control falsely believing themselves to be “safe” from pregnancy. Perhaps “unplanned pregnancy” would be a better phrase to use, but I never did care for that one, either. Every baby is planned by Someone. Just that Someone is not always us.

    • TheodoreSeeber

      I have a tendency to agree- the problem isn’t the term. The problem is the bigotry against the unplanned and the unwanted.

  • Sarah B.

    What’s really funny (and by funny I mean it makes me want to bang my head against a wall) is that as a woman who is suffering from secondary infertility (I have one child which I tried over a year to conceive and have been trying to 8 months so far for another), I have to feign an equal amount of “shock” as the “shock” with which the parents of children my child’s age react to their “surprise” pregnancies. Hello. You are fertile and you are having sex with your husband. Surprise! Your ovaries work. What’s really infuriating is that they’re all on BC and of course are just *shocked* they got pregnant the first cycle off of it. *eyeroll*
    Now let me tell you about a real surprise pregnancy that happened once in this little town called Nazareth. You’ll never believe it…. :)

    • TheodoreSeeber

      We’re 10 years into trying to use NFP in reverse to have another child.

      Sometimes, God’s answer to prayer is “not yet” and possibly “never”.

  • kim

    Yes! I live in a very liberal area where the reaction to my 3rd pregnancy was frequently: Was it a surprise? I’d laugh and say, Nope, I knew I was having sex. It was a startling moment that sometimes made people laugh and even think a little.

    … I don’t disagree with Danielle’s charitably stated point, but I don’t agree Kat needed a reminder… I expect most people attracted to Kat’s writing style, including Danielle, read accurately the tongue-in-cheek tone. I doubt Kat would ever dream of saying “Duh!” (even metaphorically) to anyone facing a pregnancy they felt unprepared for. She’s addressing in general terms the denial of responsiblitiy for pregnancy as though it shouldn’t have happened because they were “acting responsibly,” by contracepting. (something that tends not to lead to an acceptance of a new child.). That’s all the post was about.
    I know I’m prickly. I can tell you: it’s the elections.

  • Lisa

    Speaking as a mother of 10, who is 100% prolife and 100% anti-contraceptive, It is by far, the biggest stretch for me to understand Catholic women who use NFP to try to avoid pregnancy. Bottom line: marriage was designed for babies. Perhaps we should shift our thinking all together here and accept that fact of creation. I dont get it. Are we not trying to take the reigns out of God’s hands when we use NFP to avoid as well as artificial means? As married Catholics, can we ever “safely”assume sex will not result in pregnancy? Spiritually speaking, with the obvious harms of artificial aside, is one better than the other? Should any child in this world ever hear or read years down the road that he was “unplanned?” Ouch.
    Our greatest jolt should come from a realization of unexpected infertility or unexpected loss.

    • Andrea Abate

      It’s a stretch? Really? There are licit reasons for avoiding/spacing children and there are licit means for doing so. It is always in the minds of the couple that there could be a child conceived anyway, even if it’s not in their plans. They will lovingly welcome that child because it was in God’s plans. Couples are not required to practice NFP, but THE CHURCH teaches that it is ok. People like you sow confusion and are speaking against the teachings of the Church/Aquinas and Natural Law. Of course, there are reasons for couples to want to space their children. Read up on Margaret Sanger’s mom. She had so many children she had to be carried up and down the stairs. That’s why Maggie went on her birth control kick. Even if a couple practices NFP for selfish reasons, it is “only” a venial sin, while using birth control is much worst.

      • Andrea Abate

        You have sex every night, right? Because you could inadvertently be
        practicing NFP. What’s the difference between not having sex to avoid a
        pregnancy and not having sex because there’s a good movie on tv? If the
        first is wrong, then you better be doing it every night.

  • dabhidh

    THANK YOU! This needs to be said again and again and again. It’s become an absolute madness in our society that we are so obsessed with sex for every reason except having babies, and we treat the natural biological results of sexual intercourse as an unwelcome intrusion into our lives. The more we attempt to divorce sex from procreation, the more insane we become as a society. The science is settled: Sex Creates Babies!

  • Prenita Condit

    uh. Even abstinence is 99.99% effective. Take a look at the bible if you don’t believe me…..

    • Katrina Fernandez

      The Blessed Virgin Mary is excluded from this argument, obviously. I’m not sure if you are trying to be a smart ass or not, in which case, don’t. I reserve that right exclusively here. If you aren’t and think I am that much a dolt you clearly do not visit here often. It does not bode well with me when people tell me I should refer to the Bible.

  • Lee

    Well, actually the consequences of this sex causes babies discovery does not seem to have dawned on us as a Church yet, either. We like to think we are against abortion, but where does abortion come from, exactly? Could it be related to the hypersexualized culture in which we live, possibly, against which we have practically nothing to say, or at least not as loudly.

    No, we are to be as winsome as possible and not come off as prudes. Smile. Smile. Smile. When was the last time you heard a sermon to the effect that premarital sex is a grave moral evil, a mortal sin that puts one’s soul in danger of eternal punishment, i.e. Hell? This is considered indelicate to mention.

    Maybe you have heard sermons against watching salacious television programs or movies or viewing pornography, warnings against near occasions of sin, but not I.. There seems to be an idea abroad in the Catholic community that Roe vs Wade causes abortions or Planned Parenthood or CINO politicians, but this is simply self-deception that takes the onus off of us as apostles and disciples of Jesus Christ.

    How can we say that we are against abortions when we are not even more fervently against all those elements in our culture that inevitably lead to abortions, especially the sins against which we will not speak as well as the deeply embedded customs of our culture which almost inevitably lead to pre-marital love-making. This leaves out the contraceptive mentality, which also is never addressed.

    We are kidding ourselves. Since we are not against the causes that lead to abortion, neither are we really against abortion. In fact our sins of omission on these issues as a Church may well be in reality the leading cause of abortion.

    The fact that sex causes babies has a lot of implications for how we go about stopping this forty year old holocaust.