Fake Christmas Trees Unholy…

… I’m on a superiority complex high right now having ventured out into the wilderness and chopped down my own Christmas tree. Can you believe it; I used a hand saw and no one bled to death. Then I lifted the tree over my head in triumph and grunted loudly in satisfaction. I resisted the urge to “spike” the tree when we got to the car. It was very primal and quite impressive.

I feel this experience gives me license to mock your fake plastic Christmas trees and pine scented candles as an unholy abomination that makes Baby Jesus sob.

Live trees may or may not contain small woodland creatures.

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist