Warning: I am about to say “shit” a lot…

Warning: I am about to say “shit” a lot… February 12, 2013

… Do you have a dog? Do you let your canine companion shit in other peoples’ yards? Then I hate you with the fires of a thousands blazing suns.

I don’t care if you pick up their poop with a baggy or not. Just stop it! It’s gross and incredibly rude. You can never clean it up sufficiently enough to where it won’t still get wedged into the cracks in the soles of my shoe. It leaves just enough fecal residue behind that you don’t notice it right away till you’ve ground into the floor boards of your car and the carpet in your house… or worse, you cross your legs and get it on your pants, and your friends are all like “Ew. What’s that smell? Did someone fart?”

I see all these dip shits walking around with a bag of poop swinging from their wrists. You are carrying around a sack of shit. You know that right? A sack of shit.

Owning a dog 101

You take your dog for a walk after it’s relieved itself. AFTER. The walk is the reward for going to bathroom. The walk is the reward. Got that. Take the effort to train your dog to relieve it’s bowels in a corner of your own damn yard then reward that behavior with a nice long walk. It’s not hard. You teach them not to poop in the house, eat the couch, or kill the mailman. What’s this one more little thing to make the world a nicer, sweeter smelling place? Or do you just live to torture me?

Oh… and if still can’t wrap your brain around being a courteous pet owner, at least take your sack of shit home with you and throw it in your own trash can. Not my can sitting at the curb waiting for me to roll it back up to the house when I get home. There’s is nothing more obnoxious and foul than having your dog’s crap fester in my garbage can for an entire week until the next trash collection day.

Why do you want to make me hate you? Why?


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