Warning: I am about to say “shit” a lot…

… Do you have a dog? Do you let your canine companion shit in other peoples’ yards? Then I hate you with the fires of a thousands blazing suns.

I don’t care if you pick up their poop with a baggy or not. Just stop it! It’s gross and incredibly rude. You can never clean it up sufficiently enough to where it won’t still get wedged into the cracks in the soles of my shoe. It leaves just enough fecal residue behind that you don’t notice it right away till you’ve ground into the floor boards of your car and the carpet in your house… or worse, you cross your legs and get it on your pants, and your friends are all like “Ew. What’s that smell? Did someone fart?”

I see all these dip shits walking around with a bag of poop swinging from their wrists. You are carrying around a sack of shit. You know that right? A sack of shit.

Owning a dog 101

You take your dog for a walk after it’s relieved itself. AFTER. The walk is the reward for going to bathroom. The walk is the reward. Got that. Take the effort to train your dog to relieve it’s bowels in a corner of your own damn yard then reward that behavior with a nice long walk. It’s not hard. You teach them not to poop in the house, eat the couch, or kill the mailman. What’s this one more little thing to make the world a nicer, sweeter smelling place? Or do you just live to torture me?

Oh… and if still can’t wrap your brain around being a courteous pet owner, at least take your sack of shit home with you and throw it in your own trash can. Not my can sitting at the curb waiting for me to roll it back up to the house when I get home. There’s is nothing more obnoxious and foul than having your dog’s crap fester in my garbage can for an entire week until the next trash collection day.

Why do you want to make me hate you? Why?

< /end rant >

About Katrina Fernandez

Mackerel Snapping Papist

  • Lisa Rickards

    I am SO with you on that trash can thing – nothing torques me more especially since we don’t even own a dog!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eugene-Edward-Yeo/1163041810 Eugene Edward Yeo

      Then take your cans back from the curb. Once they’re at the curb, they’re up for the public to take or leave anything there. Easy peasy, no need for raeg.

      • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat Katrina Fernandez

        Reading is important…

        “…sitting at the curb waiting for me to roll it back up to the house when I get home.”

        I take my can out in the morning before I leave for work & when I get home I roll it back. In that time some dip shit throws their dogs feces in my can. And NO it’s not there for PUBLIC use. People who do that are inconsiderate assholes. Period.

      • Karen Cain

        Seriously? You think that if your trash can is at the curb, waiting for the trash guys (or waiting for the resident to come home from work and retrieve it) means it’s a PUBLIC trash can? Then I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if, on your trash day, I brought down a bag full of my son’s dirty diapers to dump in there. You know, since it’s a public trash can and all.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eugene-Edward-Yeo/1163041810 Eugene Edward Yeo

          Go ahead. It’s a trash can. It’s for trash. And if trolling my trash can is worth you saving and carrying a large bag of dirty diapers, I hope it works for you.

          By the way, I’ve heard many good things about cloth diapers, including that they save HUGE amounts of money. Have you tried them? It may be worth looking into.

  • David L Alexander

    “I am about to say ‘shit’ a lot.” So, you warned us this time.

  • http://twitter.com/moderncomments Modern Comments

    We have (or had…I think they moved) a neighbor with two little rat-faced dogs. She walked with them OFF leash (which is against city ordinance) and let them poop everywhere so SHE wouldn’t have to clean up her yard. Including our yard. Where our young kids play. We even caught her once IN OUR YARD when WE WEREN’T HOME. We saw her walking away, little rats in tow, as we came home from the store. We put up a retaining wall (which we planned on doing anyway) and a fence (which we planned on doing anyway) but both sooner than originally planned just to keep the dogs out of our yard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eugene-Edward-Yeo/1163041810 Eugene Edward Yeo

    Awwww, I’m teeeeeeeeeeeellin!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eugene-Edward-Yeo/1163041810 Eugene Edward Yeo

    Sometimes fido has to go twice. Exercise tends to make that kinda thing happen. And it’s no good getting all cranked up about people who actually care enough to curb their dog. They could just leave it there for you to slip and fall in while not paying attention and throw your knee out in addition to smearing poop all over your good wool trench coat.

  • Babs5

    Hate to rain on your parade, but most dogs have to walk a bit before taking care of business. We have our kids walk the dog for 10 minutes, then bring her back to the preserve for her relief. Most people don’t have that kind of time. Interestingly enough, we have neighbors who think that because we have a dog, we won’t notice they let their dogs go in our yard and leave it. Never our dog is twice the size of theirs and has larger poop…

  • nitnot

    Totally.

  • Kat Wagner

    You are, of course, assuming the owner has a yard. You are also, of course, assuming the little bunnies and birds and other wildlife out there both (a) never shit and (b) when they do, clean up after themselves immaculately. You might want to meet Mother Nature some time. She’s a very dirty girl.

  • Kat Wagner

    You are, of course, assuming the owner has a yard. You are also, of course, assuming the little bunnies and birds and other wildlife out there both (a) never shit and (b) when they do, clean up after themselves immaculately. You might want to meet Mother Nature some time. She’s a very dirty girl.

    • http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thecrescat Katrina Fernandez

      I know the difference between rabbit pellets, bird poop, and dog shit. I’ve met Mother Nature on many occasions and our relationship is strained to put it mildly. Also, I am the only one permitted to insufferable smart ass around here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/deacondean Deacon Dean Herrick

    I’m with you on the trash can issue, as well. But as for the baggies, I’m just grateful when someone actually tries to pick up after their pet. What gets me even more are those pet owners who think the church lawns are designated “dog walk” areas, no pick up needed!


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