Hey Dad, thanks for giving me life and taking care of me. I’m going to throw you under the bus now for a rage bait article on Salon, m’kay…

… Because that’s what overindulged, ungrateful kids do. They write smug, condescending articles about the people who sacrificed and cared for them. And for what purpose? Just to feel validated with their political choices.

In the most astonishing piece of self appeasing rubbish I’ve had the displeasure of reading, Edwin Lyngar publicly mocks his own father for the crime of having a different political opinion. In his epic ode to incurable assholery, Mr. Lyngar writes;

I lost my dad to Fox News: How a generation was captured by thrashing hysteria

Old white people are drowning in despair and rage. Here’s how my father lost his mind — thanks to his cable diet

Old, white, wrinkled and angry, they are slipping from polite society in alarming numbers. We’re losing much of a generation. They often sport hats or other clothing, some marking their status as veterans, Tea Partyers or “patriots” of some kind or another. They have yellow flags, bumper stickers and an unquenchable rage. They used to be the brave men and women who took on America’s challenges, tackling the ’60s, the Cold War and the Reagan years — but now many are terrified by the idea of slightly more affordable healthcare and a very moderate Democrat in the White House.

Old, white, wrinkled, and angry. Flattering description of his father, no?

It’s a fight to read any further after the laughable suggestion that Obama is a “moderate Democrat”. But this is Salon, after all. They’re hardly known for staffing stellar minds. Narcissistic dictator. Hopelessly disengaged. Perpetually on vacation. Violator of Constitutional rights. Any of those would apply… but moderate Democratic.

Is it possible to get any stupider and offensive? Yes. Yes it is.

We’re losing people like my father to the despair of Fox News, and it’s all by design.

My dad is 67 years old, a full year younger than the average Fox viewer, who is 68, according to an analysis in New York magazine by columnist Frank Rich. I’ve read accounts of people my age — 40 or so — losing parents to cancer or Alzheimer’s, but just as big a tragedy are the crops of grandmothers and grandfathers debilitated by Fox News-induced hysteria.

You read that correctly. Mr. Lyngar just equated losing a parent to cancer and Alzheimer’s with watching Fox News.

Keeping it classy, he continues…

When I finally pulled the handle for Obama in 2012, my father could not believe how far I’d fallen. I have avoided talking politics with him as much as possible ever since. Last week, I invited him to my house for dinner with the express purpose of talking about politics and most especially his Fox News addiction. Since he retired, he only watches Fox. As we started chatting up politics, I repeated one mantra over and over: “Please, please, consume another source of information.” I repeated my plea a dozen times.

I’m sure the irony is lost on Mr. Lyngar, begging his father to ingest a different source of information. I expect it is. After all he stills believes in global warming. What type of person invites their father over to dinner with a hidden agenda? A sick one.

“I don’t care to see any more of that liberal bullshit,” he said in one form or another all night.

We rehashed some issues, starting with his absolute skepticism about global warming and evolution. “Science and religion are the same thing,” he said. And, “We didn’t come from a fucking monkey,” he added like he always does.

This is so unbelievable to me. Why can’t Mr. Lyngar respect his father’s wishes and just agree to disagree, like a normal fucking person who doesn’t suffer obsessive issues with having to be right all the time or like someone who was raised to have more than an ounce of respect for their elders.

So what happened?

“I’m overeducated in the humanities…”

Ah. It all makes sense now. Education is not the same as intelligence. Clearly.

If you have a stomach lined with steel and are feeling prematurely penitential for Lent, you can hope over to Salon to continue reading. But be warned, the rest of the article is pure hateful and willful ignorant bilge. Here, I’ll save you the trouble with a highlight reel…

• Mr. Lyngar delights in the death of Fox New’s elderly viewers because with them goes Fox News.

• There’s the ever present white guilt and self loathing that permeates among liberal elitists.

• Archie Bunker references

• Pseudo science and fake intellectualism

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